Points to Ponder #10- The grass will continue to always be greener on the other side
Isn't it funny how life works? You look around and you start to say, "If only..."! If only what? Your life is your life. You can't change the 'you' that God created. You can't completely erase every part of your history that put you where you are today. When are we going to just be happy with what we have and who we are? We live in a society that makes you think you need to do it better and have it all (and then post it all on Facebook).
We never really know what is going on in other people's world. We never really know if we had what they had if it would make our life any better than what it already is. We can continue the cycle of wishing we had what others had, or we can stop beating ourselves up and just appreciate what is ours. If we appreciate what is ours, we have to appreciate it ALL ... the good, the bad and the downright ugly.
I'm not saying we should give up improving our life. I'm not saying we should stop trying make our life the best it can be. What I am saying is that we need to stop wishing for what others have. We need to stop assuming that everyone else has it better than we do. At some point we just have to be content with the life that has been given to us.
The saying, "The grass is always greener on the other side," is only partly true. Because chances are, if you get into that lawn and really look around, it is going to have just as many flaws and issues as the very lawn you can call your own. Take time to water your lawn, weed your lawn and give your lawn the love it really needs. Your grass will perk up. Your weeds won't seem as overwhelming. And you might just be content to stay with the grass you have rather than trying to take over your neighbor's!
Love yourself- all of yourself. Even your issues exist for a reason. Take them in stride. Do the best you can. Be the best you can be. And STOP comparing your life to others. You were blessed with your life for a reason. Take time to figure out what that reason was and foster the heck out it! It will perk up:)
Monday, April 1, 2013
Friday, March 29, 2013
Balance Is The Key ... But What's Yours
Points to Ponder #9- Balance is the key ... but, what's yours?
Seriously, how often have you heard that you need to find a balance? Whether you are talking about family, work, health, money, relationships, etc., the key is always to find a good balance. If only it were really that easy. There are times in life when everything seems to be in sync; when you feel as though you have enough of everything and nothing is throwing you out of whack. BUT, let's be honest, those times are very rare. Those times don't last longer than a month or two, heck, sometimes even a day or two. And then the rest of the weeks or months or years you feel like a circus dog trying to run in a circular ball that never stops spinning.
I like to compare life to laundry. It seems that every once in a while, every dirty piece of laundry is clean, folded and put away. In that rare moment, you feel like you can handle life, like things aren't that bad and the dirty laundry wasn't that hard to get under control. You feel that way until just a short time later when your child wets the bed or spills a class of juice all over the table cloth or walks through the largest mud pile you've ever seen. Even if one of those normal things don't happen, later in that same day that all the laundry was complete, you look in the baskets that live in the various spots in your home, and they all seem to be full. What? Just hours before EVERYTHING was clean. That's how life is. As soon as you feel like you've got this thing called life figured out, something changes or something happens that throws you for a major loop.
So, balance is definitely the key. But, you can't look at what others say is a balanced life. You have to look at your own needs, your own wants and your own issues. We all have these things ... needs, wants and issues. And they all affect us in different ways. If we take time to examine our lives and figure out what makes us feel complete, we can start to achieve a small sense of balance in our lives. The struggle is that our needs, wants and issues are constantly changing just as the world constantly moves. Not to mention the fact that if you are in a family, you have to also consider the needs, wants and issues of everyone living in your home or in the family that you care for outside of your home.
I have come to the conclusion that balance is really just a juggling act. Its about who can have the most balls in the air and manage them without letting them hit the ground. We all do it differently. Some are able to do it with more grace. But, the bottom line is ... if you can manage the balls minute after minute, possibly day after day, and sometimes (thankfully) year after year, then you have some balance in your life.
Don't be so hard on yourself when you have a dirty house, a squabble with your spouse, a car that looks like you live in it, a workout that didn't get complete, a budget that went a little over last month, an extra beer that left you with a morning headache ... life is hard. Do the best the can you can with what you have to work with and with as much force as you have day after day. That's really all anyone can ask of you and your balance.
Good luck!
Seriously, how often have you heard that you need to find a balance? Whether you are talking about family, work, health, money, relationships, etc., the key is always to find a good balance. If only it were really that easy. There are times in life when everything seems to be in sync; when you feel as though you have enough of everything and nothing is throwing you out of whack. BUT, let's be honest, those times are very rare. Those times don't last longer than a month or two, heck, sometimes even a day or two. And then the rest of the weeks or months or years you feel like a circus dog trying to run in a circular ball that never stops spinning.
I like to compare life to laundry. It seems that every once in a while, every dirty piece of laundry is clean, folded and put away. In that rare moment, you feel like you can handle life, like things aren't that bad and the dirty laundry wasn't that hard to get under control. You feel that way until just a short time later when your child wets the bed or spills a class of juice all over the table cloth or walks through the largest mud pile you've ever seen. Even if one of those normal things don't happen, later in that same day that all the laundry was complete, you look in the baskets that live in the various spots in your home, and they all seem to be full. What? Just hours before EVERYTHING was clean. That's how life is. As soon as you feel like you've got this thing called life figured out, something changes or something happens that throws you for a major loop.
So, balance is definitely the key. But, you can't look at what others say is a balanced life. You have to look at your own needs, your own wants and your own issues. We all have these things ... needs, wants and issues. And they all affect us in different ways. If we take time to examine our lives and figure out what makes us feel complete, we can start to achieve a small sense of balance in our lives. The struggle is that our needs, wants and issues are constantly changing just as the world constantly moves. Not to mention the fact that if you are in a family, you have to also consider the needs, wants and issues of everyone living in your home or in the family that you care for outside of your home.
I have come to the conclusion that balance is really just a juggling act. Its about who can have the most balls in the air and manage them without letting them hit the ground. We all do it differently. Some are able to do it with more grace. But, the bottom line is ... if you can manage the balls minute after minute, possibly day after day, and sometimes (thankfully) year after year, then you have some balance in your life.
Don't be so hard on yourself when you have a dirty house, a squabble with your spouse, a car that looks like you live in it, a workout that didn't get complete, a budget that went a little over last month, an extra beer that left you with a morning headache ... life is hard. Do the best the can you can with what you have to work with and with as much force as you have day after day. That's really all anyone can ask of you and your balance.
Good luck!
Thursday, March 28, 2013
You Can Be A Powerful Force
Points to Ponder #8- You can be a powerful force
We sometimes feel so small and insignificant. We can easily talk ourselves into believing that we don't make a difference. The things that rattle around in our brain can cause us to think we are not important to others. Things like, "No one will notice if I'm there or not," or "Why should I even go, they don't need me." We make excuse after excuse about how we are not worthy, how others can do it better and how our worth isn't as important as others.
STOP! You are important. You DO make a difference. Every where you go, every person you see, every job you do ... it can and should be meaningful. Even just a trip to the grocery story can impact a handful of people. Your smile or kind word might be the only thing a person needed to turn his/her day around. Your kind gesture could cause a ripple effect of random acts of kindness all over your city. You and you alone, need to decide that you DO make a difference; that your presence IS needed.
It is unbelievable how much power we have as people. We can light someone up like a firecracker going off. We can make someone feel on top of the world. BUT, we can also blow out the only dim light that may have been present in a soul. While we need to believe that we are important and can make a difference, we also have to realize that our difference may not be a good one. Yesterday I blogged about my sour mood. It is safe to say that I blew out my husband's flame, as well as the flame that might have been lit in all my children. I realized though at lunchtime how big a difference I DO make and was able to turn my day around!
Last week, I was helping my daughter sell GirlScout cookies at a booth. A man was leaving and debating whether or not to purchase from these adorable little girls. He stopped and said, "You know, I don't need any cookies, but here's money for a box. Tell the next person walking by that he/she gets a free box of cookies." The little girls were blown away. That man's free box turned in over 10 people paying it forward. He made such a difference ... all for $3.50. Not only did he affect multiple people in the store that day, but he taught my daughter a most valuable lesson first hand. She saw the great impact that a small gesture can make!
You DO make a difference. Never believe that you don't. But, remember to be careful with your power and use it in the most positive way you can!
We sometimes feel so small and insignificant. We can easily talk ourselves into believing that we don't make a difference. The things that rattle around in our brain can cause us to think we are not important to others. Things like, "No one will notice if I'm there or not," or "Why should I even go, they don't need me." We make excuse after excuse about how we are not worthy, how others can do it better and how our worth isn't as important as others.
STOP! You are important. You DO make a difference. Every where you go, every person you see, every job you do ... it can and should be meaningful. Even just a trip to the grocery story can impact a handful of people. Your smile or kind word might be the only thing a person needed to turn his/her day around. Your kind gesture could cause a ripple effect of random acts of kindness all over your city. You and you alone, need to decide that you DO make a difference; that your presence IS needed.
It is unbelievable how much power we have as people. We can light someone up like a firecracker going off. We can make someone feel on top of the world. BUT, we can also blow out the only dim light that may have been present in a soul. While we need to believe that we are important and can make a difference, we also have to realize that our difference may not be a good one. Yesterday I blogged about my sour mood. It is safe to say that I blew out my husband's flame, as well as the flame that might have been lit in all my children. I realized though at lunchtime how big a difference I DO make and was able to turn my day around!
Last week, I was helping my daughter sell GirlScout cookies at a booth. A man was leaving and debating whether or not to purchase from these adorable little girls. He stopped and said, "You know, I don't need any cookies, but here's money for a box. Tell the next person walking by that he/she gets a free box of cookies." The little girls were blown away. That man's free box turned in over 10 people paying it forward. He made such a difference ... all for $3.50. Not only did he affect multiple people in the store that day, but he taught my daughter a most valuable lesson first hand. She saw the great impact that a small gesture can make!
You DO make a difference. Never believe that you don't. But, remember to be careful with your power and use it in the most positive way you can!
Wednesday, March 27, 2013
I Digress ...
My points to ponder are taking a break today ... I must digress to discuss 'sour moods' and how they spoil not only your day, but also the day of everyone around you. So, my book, It's Okay: Let's Get Real About This Thing We Call Parenting, focuses on how no one leads the perfect life and we should get 'real' about the struggles that consume our hearts. And, really, I believe this. I believe we should be open and honest about our struggles, our hardships and our mistakes. BUT, I do not believe that means we should spoil everyone's day around us just because we are having a mood. And, today ... I did. My mood this morning was enough to destroy anyone's happy day.
Why? Why can I so easily express to others how we need to move on from the mistakes that we make, from the madness we are in and not feel bad about it? Yet, I get caught up in my own world (that really isn't all that bad), and I produce enough self-loathing that I ruin my day, my husband's day and my children's day. No one destroyed my morning, but ME. I was the very person who could have just counted my blessings and been thankful for the time we had, but instead, my tone and negative attitude took over and made everyone miserable.
So, it's just after lunch. I decided to take a break from writing my points to ponder to piggy-back off the topic I talked about yesterday; we all have good days. So, I'm not having the greatest day. But, it's really not that bad. I mean, I can't even find one thing to complain about. My mood is really the only thing getting in the way of enjoying the rest of the day, the sun-filled afternoon, the evening I get to spend out with a friend (after my kiddos are sleeping)! I'm going to take my advice from yesterday and turn my bad day around.
Two things that weren't really THAT bad this morning ... my two older kids did wonderful while their sister was in gymnastics (I'll leave our the part where my one-year-old who looks like a three-year-old assaulted an 11-month-old just learning how to walk) and we got to have lunch with my husband (I will also leave out the disastrous trip to the work cafeteria where six of us were trying to order, pay, carry trays of food, etc.). So there were two things. And five things I am thankful for ... the sun is shining today, my puppy's foot is feeling better, I get to catch up with an old friend tonight, I am going to enjoy an afternoon cup of coffee with amazing creamer and my family is healthy!
Well ... thank you blog for my afternoon therapy. I feel a million times better. It's okay that I had a sour mood this morning. It's okay that I wasn't the nicest mom or wife in the world. We all make mistakes. We all have rough days. And, hey, I'm going to enjoy the rest of my day and leave my sour attitude in the dust!
Why? Why can I so easily express to others how we need to move on from the mistakes that we make, from the madness we are in and not feel bad about it? Yet, I get caught up in my own world (that really isn't all that bad), and I produce enough self-loathing that I ruin my day, my husband's day and my children's day. No one destroyed my morning, but ME. I was the very person who could have just counted my blessings and been thankful for the time we had, but instead, my tone and negative attitude took over and made everyone miserable.
So, it's just after lunch. I decided to take a break from writing my points to ponder to piggy-back off the topic I talked about yesterday; we all have good days. So, I'm not having the greatest day. But, it's really not that bad. I mean, I can't even find one thing to complain about. My mood is really the only thing getting in the way of enjoying the rest of the day, the sun-filled afternoon, the evening I get to spend out with a friend (after my kiddos are sleeping)! I'm going to take my advice from yesterday and turn my bad day around.
Two things that weren't really THAT bad this morning ... my two older kids did wonderful while their sister was in gymnastics (I'll leave our the part where my one-year-old who looks like a three-year-old assaulted an 11-month-old just learning how to walk) and we got to have lunch with my husband (I will also leave out the disastrous trip to the work cafeteria where six of us were trying to order, pay, carry trays of food, etc.). So there were two things. And five things I am thankful for ... the sun is shining today, my puppy's foot is feeling better, I get to catch up with an old friend tonight, I am going to enjoy an afternoon cup of coffee with amazing creamer and my family is healthy!
Well ... thank you blog for my afternoon therapy. I feel a million times better. It's okay that I had a sour mood this morning. It's okay that I wasn't the nicest mom or wife in the world. We all make mistakes. We all have rough days. And, hey, I'm going to enjoy the rest of my day and leave my sour attitude in the dust!
Tuesday, March 26, 2013
We All Have Good Days
Points to Ponder #7- We all have good days!
Don't get so down on yourself when you have a bad day. We all have them. While we all have great days where every piece of the puzzle fell into place, we all have those days where anything that could go wrong, did! It's inevitable that the day you are drowning, you will find a friend or a neighbor flying higher than a kite. On bad days, our focus goes to everyone around us and how everything seems perfect in their worlds.
While no one has the perfect life, we get caught up in using worlds like, "always" and "never." We forget that things aren't ALWAYS bad. The internet plays into our self-pity. We see pictures on Facebook of what seem like the perfect days and perfect crafts and perfect families. Life is not perfect. We will have bad days. BUT, we will have good days too.
It's important to figure out what makes you feel like you've had a good day. Chances are, my 'good' day doesn't look like your 'good' day. Whether it's a workout or a clean house or time with your kiddos, you have to figure out what makes you feel complete. When the chips are down, when the day seems beyond repair, don't give up. Our lives are constantly turning 24 hours a day and seven days a week. Every second of every hour of every day, can't be all bad. There is always a silver lining. There is always something to be thankful for.
The next time you have one of those horrible days and you see others around you having a good day, don't despair. Find the one or two things in your day that weren't as traumatic as you thought. Find five things to be thankful for. Ask that friend who always seems to have it all together what her secret is. Chances are, she has just as many bad days as you do, she just hasn't felt comfortable enough talking to you about it until now!
I hope your day is one you can check off as 'good' and if it isn't, that you take time to figure out how to make tomorrow just a little bit better.
Don't get so down on yourself when you have a bad day. We all have them. While we all have great days where every piece of the puzzle fell into place, we all have those days where anything that could go wrong, did! It's inevitable that the day you are drowning, you will find a friend or a neighbor flying higher than a kite. On bad days, our focus goes to everyone around us and how everything seems perfect in their worlds.
While no one has the perfect life, we get caught up in using worlds like, "always" and "never." We forget that things aren't ALWAYS bad. The internet plays into our self-pity. We see pictures on Facebook of what seem like the perfect days and perfect crafts and perfect families. Life is not perfect. We will have bad days. BUT, we will have good days too.
It's important to figure out what makes you feel like you've had a good day. Chances are, my 'good' day doesn't look like your 'good' day. Whether it's a workout or a clean house or time with your kiddos, you have to figure out what makes you feel complete. When the chips are down, when the day seems beyond repair, don't give up. Our lives are constantly turning 24 hours a day and seven days a week. Every second of every hour of every day, can't be all bad. There is always a silver lining. There is always something to be thankful for.
The next time you have one of those horrible days and you see others around you having a good day, don't despair. Find the one or two things in your day that weren't as traumatic as you thought. Find five things to be thankful for. Ask that friend who always seems to have it all together what her secret is. Chances are, she has just as many bad days as you do, she just hasn't felt comfortable enough talking to you about it until now!
I hope your day is one you can check off as 'good' and if it isn't, that you take time to figure out how to make tomorrow just a little bit better.
Monday, March 25, 2013
Good Friends Can Make It All Better
Points to Ponder #6- Good friends can make it all better!
What would we do without our friends? You may have a spouse who will love you no matter what, but there is nothing can replace an old friend. Good friends love us no matter what. They know all the dirt about us and are still willing to help us through difficult situations. The difficulty with friendships is that they require time and energy. But, the good news is, when we are out of time and out of energy, if we have put the work in necessary to develop a strong friendship, that friend will be there waiting when our schedule allows it and when we finally gain the energy back to give to them.
Whether it's a two-minute conversation on the phone, drinks out once every six weeks, or a girls get-a-way every two years, spending time with friends or talking with friends will help us stay sane. We have to have people that we count on when the chips are down. The chips WILL be down. They will fall for us and they will fall for good friends. We have to help each other through those difficult times and be there for one another in gold medal style.
I have amazing friends. I could not make it through this thing called life without them. You know who you are! You know when I have adult temper tantrums that are ridiculous. You know when I've had a few great months or several months of despair. You know these things because you are my good friends that I count on. You know that I am anything but perfect, and you love me despite my many flaws. Thank you, dear friends.
Take time for a friend today. Give an old friend a call or message a friend you haven't had time for in a while. Even if you don't have anything amazing to share, just the day to day life challenges we make it through are enough to be proud of. Put in a little time today and as much energy as you have. If you take time for a friend today, then maybe in your next desperate moment, a good friend will reach out to you and make your day just a little bit brighter!
What would we do without our friends? You may have a spouse who will love you no matter what, but there is nothing can replace an old friend. Good friends love us no matter what. They know all the dirt about us and are still willing to help us through difficult situations. The difficulty with friendships is that they require time and energy. But, the good news is, when we are out of time and out of energy, if we have put the work in necessary to develop a strong friendship, that friend will be there waiting when our schedule allows it and when we finally gain the energy back to give to them.
Whether it's a two-minute conversation on the phone, drinks out once every six weeks, or a girls get-a-way every two years, spending time with friends or talking with friends will help us stay sane. We have to have people that we count on when the chips are down. The chips WILL be down. They will fall for us and they will fall for good friends. We have to help each other through those difficult times and be there for one another in gold medal style.
I have amazing friends. I could not make it through this thing called life without them. You know who you are! You know when I have adult temper tantrums that are ridiculous. You know when I've had a few great months or several months of despair. You know these things because you are my good friends that I count on. You know that I am anything but perfect, and you love me despite my many flaws. Thank you, dear friends.
Take time for a friend today. Give an old friend a call or message a friend you haven't had time for in a while. Even if you don't have anything amazing to share, just the day to day life challenges we make it through are enough to be proud of. Put in a little time today and as much energy as you have. If you take time for a friend today, then maybe in your next desperate moment, a good friend will reach out to you and make your day just a little bit brighter!
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Laughter Will Soften The Tears
Points to Ponder #5- Laughter will soften the tears
This morning I definitely needed laughter. Although, I was not quite ready to giggle, chuckle or even smirk at myself or my personal misery. I am referring to my church experience this wonderful Sunday morning. It was, of course, Palm Sunday. So, not only did we get to have an extra-long mass, but we also got palms to create a major distraction in the quiet sanctuary of church.
There was really nothing THAT catastrophic that occurred- it's just that it felt like it was well over 90 degrees in the church, I had a minor ache in my head due to the margaritas I consumed last night, the mass was extra long and the kids weren't quite in the sit-still-at-church-mode. I had my one-year-old to wrangle the entire mass and she is not that pleasant to entertain. Being overly hot with a one-year-old squirming all over you doesn't add up to feeling at peace and one with God:)
So, now, as the afternoon is wearing on and I look back at my morning, I realize that we made it through church. My son crafted a beautiful cross out of palms (that, of course, irritated me at the time) and probably no one around me sensed my misery. It wasn't that bad. And, the two little girls who ventured onto the Alter in the middle of mass ... weren't mine. They were ADORABLE. They gave me so much joy. They gave everyone at church a much needed moment of relief. If they were mine, I wouldn't have been able to appreciate their joy, their wonder and their need to talk with the priest. Why, though? Why wouldn't I have had the same moment if they were my children?
If we can somehow step back from our moments of misery, from our moments that overwhelm us and leave us feel like we are drowning, then wouldn't we be able to laugh a little more? Wouldn't we be comforted by the fact that minor hiccups in our day can fill us with immense joy? Laughter does make it better. There is always a silver lining. Sometimes we do not allow ourselves to see that lining and we live in the dark.
Take time today to laugh. Appreciate the good, the bad and the ugly of your world. After all, if the choice is to laugh or cry, the laughter will undoubtedly make you feel better. We need our moments of tears. We need to let go. But, for just one day, practice the laughter. Good habits are born one day at a time!
This morning I definitely needed laughter. Although, I was not quite ready to giggle, chuckle or even smirk at myself or my personal misery. I am referring to my church experience this wonderful Sunday morning. It was, of course, Palm Sunday. So, not only did we get to have an extra-long mass, but we also got palms to create a major distraction in the quiet sanctuary of church.
There was really nothing THAT catastrophic that occurred- it's just that it felt like it was well over 90 degrees in the church, I had a minor ache in my head due to the margaritas I consumed last night, the mass was extra long and the kids weren't quite in the sit-still-at-church-mode. I had my one-year-old to wrangle the entire mass and she is not that pleasant to entertain. Being overly hot with a one-year-old squirming all over you doesn't add up to feeling at peace and one with God:)
So, now, as the afternoon is wearing on and I look back at my morning, I realize that we made it through church. My son crafted a beautiful cross out of palms (that, of course, irritated me at the time) and probably no one around me sensed my misery. It wasn't that bad. And, the two little girls who ventured onto the Alter in the middle of mass ... weren't mine. They were ADORABLE. They gave me so much joy. They gave everyone at church a much needed moment of relief. If they were mine, I wouldn't have been able to appreciate their joy, their wonder and their need to talk with the priest. Why, though? Why wouldn't I have had the same moment if they were my children?
If we can somehow step back from our moments of misery, from our moments that overwhelm us and leave us feel like we are drowning, then wouldn't we be able to laugh a little more? Wouldn't we be comforted by the fact that minor hiccups in our day can fill us with immense joy? Laughter does make it better. There is always a silver lining. Sometimes we do not allow ourselves to see that lining and we live in the dark.
Take time today to laugh. Appreciate the good, the bad and the ugly of your world. After all, if the choice is to laugh or cry, the laughter will undoubtedly make you feel better. We need our moments of tears. We need to let go. But, for just one day, practice the laughter. Good habits are born one day at a time!
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