#fridayfolly: They Sound JUST Like ME!

"Children are natural mimics. They act like their parents in spite of every attempt to teach them good manners."

-Author Unknown

This week has been particularly LOUD in our house. And it seems that everyone in our family (with the exception of my husband ... I know this is surprising!) is living on edge.  

Mean comments, rude remarks, unnecessary bumps, smirks at mistakes ... the list is endless of the cruel acts that are happening all around me. And they are on purpose!

It's not that we are completely out of control, it just seems that like every other aspect of life, there are good weeks and bad weeks. This week is just unfortunately one I can chalk up to 'bad'!

The worst part of it all ... they sound JUST like ME! Yikes. Double yikes. 

Those of you who know me, know that I am a good person. I'm not mean or deceitful, spiteful or vindictive. Yet, I have to wonder about myself when I hear my children talking to each other the way that they do. 

I know, kids will be kids. The things my brother and I did to one another are unheard of. I think the topper was the time I threw a knife at him. This sounds WAY worse than it really was and I fortunately had horrible aim. It certainly fueled his fire and my brother laughed at me for my horrendous efforts. 

Hopefully my children are learning from my interactions with others, rather than just my interactions with them. I think it's mostly my tone and my awful looks. Those are two minor adjustments I need to make (among many others)!

Maybe we can chalk it up to the hustle and bustle of the holiday. Maybe we're still catching up after a busy Thanksgiving. Maybe it's hormones. Maybe it's being cooped up in the house from the bitter cold. 

Truthfully, it doesn't matter why we've been so awful to one another ... it's just time to stop!

So, tomorrow I have a plan. We are going to read How Full Is Your Bucket for Kids. It's all about how every action we take either adds drops to someones bucket or dips out of it. The fuller our buckets, the happier we are. And, the joy of it all- if you're buckets on empty, being kind to others will not only fill their bucket, but it will fill yours too. 

Maybe I'll get really creative and put a bucket on the counter. Maybe I will win 'Mom of the Moment' by putting marbles in the bucket every time someone is nice. 

This little strategy will work for about a day. And, then, I'll somehow forget or screw it up. Hopefully, though, in the meantime, our actions will be filled with good. We just need a fresh start. We just need a do-over. We just need a new week!

Have an amazing weekend. My hope is that the holiday craze hasn't taken you over like it has me. I'm on the mend and ready to bring back the patience and kind words that are needed. I'm aware that my little people are acting just like me. My eyes and ears don't like the picture of 'me' that I've been getting. 

Good luck to you all. Happy holidays to you all. This season is magical! Remember that (I know I need to)!

Oh no! #theysoundjustlikeme Despite my best efforts to create perfect little people, 

they are ending up just like me. #momneedstosettledown

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

 

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#tuesdaytip: Just Let Them Be:)

 As I was considering my #tuesdaytip and looking for a 'fitting' picture, I came across the lyrics to Billy Dean's Let Them Be Little. The timing couldn't have been better and the message couldn't have been more fitting ...

"So, let them be little 'cause they're only that way for awhile
Give them hope, give them praise, give them love every day
Let them cry, let them giggle, let them sleep in the middle
Oh, but let them be little."

Read more: Billy Dean - Let Them Be Little Lyrics | MetroLyrics

There are many moments in my mom world that I am a complete fun-hater. It's not that I want to be, but it seems as though time is running out- they are growing up and they won't have learned everything they need to learn in order to be successful. 

Gag! Give it up, woman!

I want control. I want them to do what I want. I want them to be little adults. BUT THEY ARE NOT! Just let them be for goodness sakes. 

Last night, I was so very proud of my irritated and annoyed self. The kids wanted to play games and I really wanted to watch The Voice. 

Let me digress a moment ... I like to watch four, yes only FOUR, TV shows every week. The Voice, Grey's Anatomy, Castle and Scandal. Go on, add up that time. Four measly hours of TV for the WHOLE week. You all already know how darn cheap I am (I mean look at my Little People Elf on the Shelf) and so a DVR does not exist in our household. I'm not asking for much- I just want to watch my darn shows.

Okay, back to the games and The Voice. The kids got all set up to play UNO. I had my oldest at dance and my youngest busy watching with me. The seven-year-old and the five-year-old were attempting to play a game together. Games and these two children do not mix well.

There were so many moments I wanted to jump out of my comfortable chair, rip the cards off the table, toss them in the game bin and tell them, "That's it, you're done!"

BUT, I didn't. Yeah me. I let them suffer through an hour of playing. They had some rocky and rough moments, but they worked it out. I actually just let them be. I kept my irritated and annoyed self glued to the chair and only offered a few kind comments (please know these are NOT the things I really wanted to say).

"Make sure you're using nice words," and "Check your tone."

I struggle to let my kids be little. I often forget that they will only be these ages once. My #tuesdaytip is yet again more for me than it is for you!

It's okay that I struggle and forget, as long as I recognize that my children are going to grown and gone before I know it. If I don't stop and relax and enjoy a little more ... I'm going to look back on these years with regret. 

Billy Dean had some amazing lyrics that touched my heart. My kids are going to grow into amazing adults some day- if I just let them be little now!

This week, let's work to let our kids be little (even if they are big). Let's work to give them the space and time they need to figure things out. Let's not take away the teachable moments that will only exist if we let them be.

Kids will only be little so long- as parents, we need to just let them be! #resisttheurgetofix #letthemworkitout #appreciatethierchildhood

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

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#marriagemonday: Be There!

These two love-penguins couldn't be cuter!

Marriage, though, is not as this picture depicts. It's not all lovey and holding hands. It's not perfect and picturesque.

Marriage is hard work. Marriage will have its good days and its bad days. There will be ups and there will be many, many downs.

BUT, the amazing thing about marriage is that you have that person you promised to love TIL YOUR DEATH. He will be beside you. She will be there for you. Good times and bad- your spouse will be your rock.

Don't forget to lean on that rock. Don't be afraid to take a break and hold that rock close to your heart. When you need someone most- use your spouse for support.

Good friends are critical. Family is a must. But, your spouse should be that ONE person that knows you inside and out, and loves you anyway.

I was reminded this weekend how well my spouse knows me. I was surprised, yet again, that he can love me despite my craziness and sensitivity. I am lucky to report that he was THERE for me.

This isn't to say that he isn't always there for me, but in those small, hard moments of life, we must take time to soak in the goodness of the person we married. We must thank our significant other for not packing up and heading north when things get a little sticky.

Take time to thank your spouse today. Take an extra moment to BE THERE! Little moments make lasting, life-long memories. Whether it's been a day or thousands of days that you and your spouse have beat the divorcing odds, be proud for being there.

#marriagemonday is here once again to remind us: take care of the one you vowed to love til death. #saythanks #apprciateyourrock #BETHERE

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

 

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There ARE Good People In The World!

 

There really are good people still in the
world ...

This morning as I was shopping at Target, I was high on life. Well, really I was ecstatic because I was completely out of creamer at my house. Thus causing me to HAVE to purchase a coffee.

White chocolate mocha with whip cream on top! What could possibly be better on this bitterly cold morning?

My two-year-old and I were having a jolly old time. She is #4, so she gets to rule the roost. She roams around while I shop. She sings and dances. These are things that #1, #2, and #3 get in trouble for, but again, the baby gets to just 'be'!

She was dying to try my coffee. It was too hot at first, so I was letting it cool. I know, I know ... yes, my two-year-old drinks coffee. She also drinks caffeinated pop, gets to eat WAY too much candy and gets to wear whatever the hell she wants. No judgment.

I was searching for something in the baking isle, and not paying attention to my little angel. She went for the coffee all on her own. It was in a side cart drink holder. When she pulled the coffee, the whole thing came off and the ENTIRE coffee was spilled across the middle of the isle.

Did I mention that we were waiting for it to cool ... so it was completely full? Did I  mention that it was the most delicious cup of coffee I had had in months (or was about to have)? Did I mention that it was the largest possible coffee you can purchase? Did I mention that I dropped over $5.00 for the damn thing?

My little lady felt horrible. She said over and over that she was sorry and, "No didn't mean to."

I grabbed the closest employee and apologized profusely. He was so kind. He called for reinforcements right away and assured me it was no problem (though not before I saw his face ... you know the one that says, "Oh my, that's a LOT of coffee I have to clean up."). He was even very gentle with my two-year-old saying that it was not a big deal.

I let my daughter know that I was not happy. This was very difficult because she felt so darn bad. Her quivering lip and crocodile tears made me want to scoop her up and say that it was no big deal. I stayed strong (so maybe I could teach her a lesson- since she misses out on so many being the youngest).

Several isles later, the kind gentleman found me again and offered me a new coffee. He said that the coffee shop would be ready for my order whenever I had a chance.

WOW. Wow, wow, wow.

I SOOOOO wanted to go buy another coffee, but my pride and pocket book had prevented it.

The woman at the coffee shop was overly generous. She said she was the one who suggested the new coffee, knowing that spilling that delight would be such a downer.

There ARE good people in the world. Small gestures CAN make a person's day amazing.

Thank you, Target. Thank you, Mercy ... you're name is so fitting for how you saved my morning!

Have an amazing weekend. Do something kind for someone in the next two days. Make someone's day great and remind them that our world really is good!  

I didn't have to cry over spilled coffee- Thank you, Target for making my morning so great! #itsthelittlethingsinlife #makesomeonesday #give

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

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#fridayfolly: Elf Schmelf

With Thanksgiving so late this year, Christmas seems like it is right around the corner. It feels as though it will be here tomorrow.

What, then, is my folly? These things are facts. What could have gone wrong just days into the Christmas season?

Who the hell came up with the Elf on the Shelf? And, what are all these 'rules' that I am supposed to follow? Once again, I jacked up what could have/should have been a perfectly good tradition (some of you might remember my Tooth Fairy drama ... it still continues as well!).

Last year, I looked into buying an Elf on the Shelf (technically it had been on my radar for the last three years ... who's counting). When I went to get it at one store, they were out. Another store didn't carry them at all. Finally, I found a store with the famous Elf on the Shelf. Did I buy it? NOPE. I decided that spending over $30 on a silly stuffed elf was not worth the money ... I could come up with my own Elf.

Go ahead- say it. "WHY THE HELL ARE YOU SO CHEAP?"

I ask myself this very question over and over.

So, our Christmas Little People display had an elf. Perfect. It would do. It would be wonderful.

The kids went for it. They embraced their 'different looking' elf. They named him Freddie. They loved him. There was only one problem ... Mom.

Because I created our own Elf on the Shelf, I didn't have any book or directions. I relied on the kids to be my experts. I went with it, as if they were telling me what I already knew.

Elf was put away (or he went back to the North Pole) after Christmas last year. He was to 'reappear' on December 1st. There was my first folly. I couldn't find him.

December 2nd, Freddie appeared with some sticky notes mocking the children for not finding him the first day he was in the house. They got a good giggle and Freddie was alive and well yet again (better late than never).

My second folly happened on December 4th. I forgot to move Freddie. I lied (I can't keep up with all my lies anymore) and said it was my fault; that me and their dad stayed up WAY too late. Never mind that this was the first night in a while that we actually went to be early!

My third folly happened in the evening on the 4th. I was trying to make up for not moving him, so he 'moved' while we were all downstairs playing. The older children were VERY skeptical about this, but the five-year-old seemed appeased.

Folly #4 happened on the morning of the 5th (I know you are wondering how someone can screw up this elf thing ... just leave it to this 'Mom of the Year'). I had put Freddie in our little tree on the table. I was so excited at where he was hiding and just knew the kids would love it.

My son yelled at me on this said morning, "Mom, come quick. Come look at Freddie."

There, in the middle of the table, was Freddie. He was face down and not anywhere near the tree.

"Oh, geez. Maybe he was in the tree and Buddy (our obnoxious dog) knocked onto the table?" To be honest, I had NO idea what had happened. That seemed like a logical excuse.

As we were eating breakfast, the children went back and forth about what to do about Freddie. My son was sure that I was able to touch him without him losing his magic since I am an adult. I would have known if this was the case had I actually not been a cheap ass and read the book.

I used a bracelet to 'lift' him back into the tree. All was right in the world and Freddie could breath once more.

I suck at traditions. I'm even worse at lying. Poor Freddie. Elf Schmelf!

Have a fabulous Friday. I hope your week wasn't full of as many follies as mine. If it was, just remember, 'It's Okay.' It's okay to do the best darn job you can and make up with rest with love and care (and a few lies here and there).

Elf Schmelf! Freddie the Elf has the dullest Mom in the world! I must remember ... it's okay to suck at traditions. #itstheeffortthatcounts

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

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#tuesdaytip: Be Happy, Healthy and Successful!

Are you happy?

Are you healthy?

Do you feel successful?

The problem with these three parts of our lives is that they will look very different for each of us. And, no matter how it looks to others, the only one it matters to ... is YOU!

We each define these things in our own way. A few months ago, I came across a list of the 25 Habits of People Who Are Happy, Healthy and Successful. This list covers the essentials to living a fulfilling life. Each of the 25 things make you think about where you are at personally, professionally and with regard for your health.

While it's important to see the list in its entirety, it's also critical to know your limits. You must know yourself and your capabilities. You have to understand your strengths, your limitations and your life situation.

So, go for it. Try for the 25. BUT, first start with just three. Answer the following three questions and decide where your list would start. Make some adjustments in your life and allow those minor adjustments to become habit. Only then, can you add more to your list!

1. What makes you happy?
     While there may be many things in your life that create happiness for you, pick the main thing. Is it when you get to spend time with certain individuals? Is it when your house is immaculate? Is it when you get a good work-out in? Is it when you have regular date nights with your spouse? Is it when you take time for yourself to spend time on your hobby?
     Don't try to accomplish ALL these things- pick just one to focus on. Put it as your number one and relish in the moments when you get have this as a consistent piece of your life.

2. What part of your health needs work?
     There's no doubt that each of us have several things we can 'fix' in regards to our health. Our nation is known for the unhealthiness that exists and there's junk all around us that gets in the way of living a healthy life. Again, pick just one thing you can do to better your health. Maybe it's working out three days a week. Maybe you need to incorporate more vegetables in your diet. Maybe you need to avoid the candy jar at work.
     You can't completely change your health habits all at once. Pick just one area to focus on and work it into the lifestyle you have. Make it routine. Make it be part of the norm before you tackle every area that needs fixing!

3. When do feel most successful?
     Success is such a broad term. It covers home, work, relationships ... the list is endless. The part you have to figure out is when and where your success happens. Some of us might feel success when we get out the door without a major temper tantrum, while others may find success from landing a multimillion dollar deal at work. Neither of these things is necessarily better or more than the other- it's up to you to define your own success.
     When you figure out the when and where of your success, GO FOR IT! Put the pieces in place to make it happen. Don't beat yourself up if failures crept into the middle of your success. Don't give up when things get tough. Focus on you and what's needed to make it happen. Try not to worry about how others define your success- after all, you have to do that for yourself!

Start small. Life is hard. Life is really hard. Just the basics are too much sometimes.

When the dishes and laundry and crap pile up, when a conflict with a friend or coworker bubbles up, when you feel overwhelmed with ALL that needs to happen in order to live ... remember that you are not alone. Remember that you are human (just like everyone else)!

Stop looking at others and wishing for what they have. Look in the mirror and take the minor steps needed to make your life happy, healthy and successful. You can do it. Believe in yourself and your capabilities. Know your limitations and struggles. Don't be afraid to fail.

In the end- it's love that matters most. Surrounding yourself by individuals that love and care for you will be the means to make your #1, #2, and #3 happen.

Have a terrific Tuesday!

Do you feel happy, healthy & successful? If not, tackle 1 thing at a time. 

Make minor adjustments, find people to help & love you for you! 

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

 

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#marriagemonday: Being Critical Can Be A Killer!

Thanksgiving has come and gone ... check that holiday off and start preparing for the next one! Right? 

Boom, boom, boom. Busy, busy, busy. Move, move, move. No rest for the weary!

Wait a minute. Slow down. Take time to appreciate the weekend you just had. I'm sure it wasn't perfect, but surely there are moments of family bliss you can pick out!

Our four-day weekend was a complete blur. We had amazing moments with friends and family. Our schedule was jam-packed. It's time now to slow down and reflect on the relationships that matter the most this holiday season, especially the relationships with our spouses. 

As I was scrolling through my inbox on Saturday, I came across the following quote from The ScreamFree Institutes Tip of the Day. 

"Children have more need of models than of critics."

-Carolyn Coats, U.S. author

The other night as we were preparing to host an extended family Christmas party, my husband and children came in to say hello (my hubby was the most help when he was keeping the children FAR away from the party prep)! My aunt made a comment that had me giggling, "Well, it looks like your five kids finally arrived!" Please note: I only have four children and one husband (who loves life enough to act like a child at times!).

Now, I'm not saying that my husband is like one of my children (at least that's not the point of this particular blog post- ha), but that comment in conjunction with the quote above, reminded me of my critical attitude that too often surfaces in our house. 

Whether we are talking about kids or spouses or extended family or friends, it seems that too often we become critical rather than supportive.  I'm not sure why I nit-pick at my husband and children or why I get worked up over such stupid things ... but, I do (especially when the stress of holidays are present).

I promised almost ten years ago to cherish, honor and love my spouse until death do us part. I didn't promise to notice everything he does that drives me batty or promise to criticize him to the point of defeat. My job is not to 'raise' him. It's to love him- all of him. That includes the good, the bad and the downright ugly!

We all have our ugliness. We all have our failures, limitations and challenges. None of us are above making millions of mistakes. None of us- EVEN our spouses. 

As this holiday season continues down the road and the hustle and bustle continues to consume the world around you, try not to let it take you over. When things get tough, don't take it out on your spouse. This time of year does crazy things to people, but you don't have to let the craziness cause chaos in your marriage.

The road to life is a never ending winding trail of opportunities. If your spouse happens to notice a turn along the way that might not be the turn you would take- don't shoot down a road to a new chance. Try not to criticize and dampen a dream (even the smallest dreams can be life changers). Listen to the ideas your spouse has to offer. Be a model of love. 

 Happy holiday craze! This #marriagemonday remember to be a model of love. #listenmore #crticizeless Your spouse matters most today & always!

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

 

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