#throwbackthursday: Love Your Imperfect Self!

Many times throughout the last year, I referred to my '1000 thanks' challenge. I'm still working on completing the darn thing, but it's fun to head back to where it started.

Last year at this time I was writing about the Points to Ponder section at the beginning of the book. Number four is a great reminder that we are who we are. We should always strive to be the very best we can be, but we also need to be realistic about the strengths and limitations we were blessed with. 

This #throwbackthursday, when the sun is shining bright and the weather is near perfect, remember to be thankful for as many things as you can in your world. No one has the perfect life, but certainly, we can love the imperfectness that is totally, 100% ours!

Saturday, March 23rd, 2013

Perfection Is Not Possible, But Don't Give Up Trying

Points to Ponder #4- Perfection is not possible, but don't give up trying

Perfection does not exist!  Being perfect is not possible.  No person on earth is perfect.  We all mess-up.  We are all full of error.  We all make mistakes.  Quit beating yourself up for not being someone you aren't.  Accept your strengths, your gifts and your blessings.  BUT ... you must also accept your limitations.  You cannot and should not be able to do it, be it all and then have time to post it all!

It's okay to admit that you don't have the perfect house, marriage, job, kids, etc.  No one does.  Just because you do not have the perfect life does not mean that you don't have a million things to be thankful for.  My points to ponder #4 talks about church in the book.  It mentions how church becomes a major source of angst for many families.  Children CANNOT sit through an hour of mass being perfect.  Heck, my husband can't even make it through mass without cracking an inappropriate joke.  Accept it.  Live with it.  And then try to embrace what it is good.

I'm reading a book in my bible study group called One Thousand Gifts, by Ann Voskamp (www.aholyexperience.com).  This author does a wonderful job reminding the reader to appreciate what is around you every moment of every day (even the bad stuff).  In her book she is challenged to write 1000 things she is thankful for.  I have been working on my list and am on 275.  I have to admit, when I am focused on the blessings, I am much more content to not be perfect and to enjoy the imperfections life has to offer that are so wonderful.  Sounds twisted, I know.  But it is so true.  This author has dared me to live fully right where I am at.  I not there yet, but I'm not going to give up trying either.   

So, give it up.  Love your imperfect self.  Love your imperfect family.  Love your imperfect job.  Love your imperfect house.  Love it all ... because it's all yours to be thankful for!  Don't give up trying to be the best you can be, but embrace your strengths and limitations and find the balance in between them that leaves you feeling content!

#tbt
#pointstoponder
#perfectionisnotpossible
#dontgiveuptrying
Love yourself, imperfections & all!
Visit http://www.itsokaybooks.com  for more :)

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

 

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#tuesdaytip: It's The Effort That Counts

 

 All day I have avoided this blog like the plague. It's not that I haven't began typing more than ten times; rather it's that I haven't been able to get past the first sentence. 

I think I am struggling to offer a tip, when truly, I have a question (or several). 

How do we know if someone is putting in her maximum effort? Who are we to judge if a person is doing his best. When did we become all-knowing for what others should be capable of? 

These questions are the ones I am asking myself over and over and over. Yet, I still feel that I am NOT getting a maximum effort out of one of my children. Today I've been unable to write because I don't know what to think about the concept of 'effort'. 

Certainly when we participate in an activity, complete a task at work or finish a household chore, we are able to judge the amount of effort we put into it. More than likely the outcome matches the effort, hard work and attitude we had when doing it. After years of living, you start to realize that you get out of something about as much as you put into it. 

Church, friendships, work outcomes, exercising, dieting, marriage ... just to name a few ... when things are not going right in these areas, chances are, you're not contributing much effort, hard work or positivity. And you'll only have as much success as you are allowing. 

If we all struggle with putting in effort to each part of our lives, how can we judge others or assume how much effort is being given?

I'm really torn about some negative thoughts I am having about my child's hard work in a recent activity. I wonder why I can't just be happy for her growth. I wonder why I'm doubting so much that her best effort was being contributed. I wonder if at some level I am wanting her to be something or someone she is not. Who am I to say if her drive in life is wrong just because it is different than my own?

My daughter has an wondrous go-with-the-flow attitude. She is book smart and creative and quirky. She is kind, caring, responsible and respectful. She can remember any fact she has read or heard. She loves life and sees a bright future for herself. She's not overly meticulous or picky. She doesn't have to have everything in a certain order but keeps things where she can find them. She's wiling to try new things and likes new adventures.

Knowing all this, why am I still struggling?

I think it's because she doesn't do things how I would do them. I can go with a lot of 'flows', but my get-up-and-go is not relaxed and laid back. I'm a getter-done type girl. And if I want something, I don't sit back; rather I jump to the stars. 

Whew. Effort. It's not my job to say how much she is putting in. But, it is my job to support her, love her and encourage her to always be her best. 

Thanks, blog readers, for letting me work through that one! Have a great Hump Day tomorrow. Offer your best effort to as much of your life as you can. Remember, you can't be it all and do it all with every ounce of hard work, effort and positivity you have (and neither can my daughter)!

#hardwork #positiveattitude #effort 

add these 3 things to as many parts of life as possible- 

assume others are doing the same

 #bestwecando

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

 

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#marriagemonday: Do You Both Believe?

This quote by Marilyn Monroe definitely says it all!

Do you and your spouse both believe that everything happens for a reason? Do you look back and find that all the stars aligned just perfectly so that you two could end up together?

My husband is involved in a local bass club ... yes, BASS club. He is a fisher. And a darn good one.

Saturday night we ventured off to his yearly Bass Club banquet. It's unfortunate that we had to go there right from my daughter's basketball game where I had to be dressed like a coach. I suppose after all these years of marriage, it's lucky that it doesn't matter WHAT I wear, only that we get occasional time together alone.

As we were chitchatting before dinner, the concept of high school sweethearts popped up. We were asked if that was how we met. I chuckled and stated pretty plainly that we met at our first job. A man then kindly inquired, "So what's the story?"

I was ready to blow the question off, but found myself wanting to share some tidbits of our love story.

What's your love story? How did you and your spouse meet? Who pursued who?

I've wondered more than once if the events that led up to my first job were different, if I would have ever had the opportunity to meet my better half. It seems that the cards weren't in my favor, and yet, it all happened for a reason.

I went to a college I couldn't afford. Then studied abroad when I had never left the country. Coming back, I wanted nothing more than to change the world. I chose to student teach at a school in a low income area. And then- I didn't apply or pursue any other school or district but that one. It was there that it all happened!

My spouse and I are firm believers that everything happens for a reason. No matter what deck we are dealt, if we stick together, somehow we will end up better than we were before.

This #marriagemonday, I hope your marriage is stacked with a strong deck of cards; with many in your favor. And, if you happen to draw a low card or one that throws off your stack, I hope that the strength of your marriage can make up the difference.

Whatever is happening in your world, try to move through it together; as a unit. We are certainly more powerful together than we are alone. Believe in one another. Believe in your bond. Believe in the marriage you created!

How are things in your married world? 

Is life throwing curve balls? 

Are you leaning on your better half for support? 

#mm #believeineachother

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

 

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#fridayfolly: I Blinked!

Obviously my first folly is that I'm late on my #fridayfolly and last week I missed it all together! :)

The last few weeks, well months really, have been a little bit of a blur; flying by in almost a blink. I remember thinking that March was so far off and now it is well underway. 

As I look back, I think I appreciated many moments (in between moments of madness and chaos!). We had lots of successes; family dinners, kids' events, Friday movie nights, positive school conference comments, a few game nights, chats about good days, singing contests, family dance-offs ... even lots of loving, hugging and giggling moments. 

When I brainstorm all the times of appreciation, the things that DON'T come to mind: the sporadic times when the house was clean, the few instances when the laundry was all washed and put away, the success of planning logistics for over 15 events in one week, etc. These things didn't come to mind, yet these were the very things that I know spoiled my enjoyment of the moments that REALLY mattered. 

Life is certainly a rat race. There is no way around the fact that there will always be more to do than there is time to get it done. We can't live our weeks waiting for the weekend and then live our weekends dreading the preparation needed to go back to work. 

I realized the other day that I blinked. I let the last few months happen with too much wait, too much dread and not enough appreciation. 

Last year when I was home full-time, I made a conscious effort to do less. And, in doing less, I actually appreciated more. I remember some days being VERY long and some weeks taking FOREVER. But, the slowed pace actually allowed me to remember more. It gave me more opportunities for loving, memorable moments. 

Sometimes we can't remove events or obligations. Sometimes the pace of life is out of our control. When this happens, we get to choose how quickly we live our weeks. We can choose to slow our thinking down. We can choose to live life with joy and appreciation, rather than wait and dread. 

Spring break officially starts today for myself and my kids. There are a million things I'd like to get done. But, I don't want to blink and have this week pass me by. Rather than rushing to complete tasks that won't mean anything next month, I'm going to strive to appreciate as many moments as possible. 

When my kids are driving me crazy and my house looks like a tornado just blew through, I'm going to reread this darn blog and try to remember that if I blink too long, my kids are going to be grown and gone. 

Lent started last Wednesday. I chose to lay in bed with my son for a few minutes when he asked (too often I tell him I have too much to do ...) and he told me about his idea for what all the kids should do. "Mom, I think we should all try to be nicer to one another and do nice things for each other." Here! Here!

So, my folly (not just for this week- but the last few months) is that I have taken for granted the very things that bring me the most joy. It wasn't all the time, but there were moments I spoiled with my very own overwhelmed self. 

Each week brings us a fresh new start. Let's work together; let's remind one another what life is really all about. I'm going to strive to complete only the necessary life tasks, and use the rest of my time appreciating the moments. 

Spring is almost here- time for me to grow with the added sunlight, warmer weather and blooming nature. 

Careful not to blink- moments of appreciation will pass u by 

#trytoslowdown Don't let life's obstacles interfere with joy & wonder #taketime

 

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

 

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#throwbackthursday: We All Make Mistakes!

Thursday is here AGAIN ... already! What happens to the weeks? 

A year ago I was attempting to promote my first book, It's Okay: Let's Get Real About This Thing We Call Parenting. I was also trying to figure out what in the heck to blog about besides all my inadequacies. 

So ... I began blogging about my Points to Ponder section at the beginning of my book. This section has ten ideas that I wanted fresh in the readers mind, BEFORE he/she started thinking the worst about every person who contributed stories for my book .

Points to Ponder #1 is Be Thoughtful With Your Words. This section encourages the reader to think before speaking and understand that words really can hurt. It's also a reminder that no one is perfect and sometimes others will hurt us unintentionally with their words. We need to be mindful of both. 

Points to Ponder #2 is explained below ... enjoy my year old thoughts :)

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Don't Judge Me Just Because My Mistakes Are Different Than Yours

Points To Ponder #2:  Don't judge me just because my mistakes are different than yours

The second Points To Ponder section addresses judgment.  Before sharing the hilarious stories that were submitted by over 40 contributors, I wanted readers to be in the right frame of mind.  It took courage and personal strength to share stories of embarrassment, shame and frustration.  While my book is intended to be funny, it also has a very deep message.  As parents (well even just as human beings), we are constantly looking around at others.  We are creating judgments about others or assuming things of others and then judging ourselves.

The judgment needs to stop.  God created us each differently.  He hand-picked the make-up of who we are.  We all have different strengths and things we are good at.  But, we also each have limitations and things that we are not, and will never be, good at.  It's okay.  We don't have to be perfect.  We don't have to do it.  We don't have to look, act or feel like our friends and neighbors.  We get to be us!  Just our imperfect little selves.

So, if we are not perfect and we can live with that fact, then maybe we will start to realize that other people can't be perfect either.  There are people in the world who will do things that we do not agree with.  That's okay.  People will do things that we would never do.  That's okay, too.  The world goes round because of the differences that exist.  We are lucky to live in a world where no two people are the same.

The thing about judgment that is crucial to remember: we have no idea what is going on in other people's lives.  We cannot effectively judge them because we do not completely know them.  It's not fair to assume things about people around you.  It's not fair not to give everyone the benefit of the doubt.  I know not all people are good- but darn it, most people in the world are doing the best they can with the strengths and limitations they have been blessed with!

Don't judge me just because my mistakes are different than yours.

#tuesdaytip: Let It Go!

As I was driving my little lady to daycare this morning, my #tuesdaytip sang its way into my heart!

For those of you that have not been fortunate enough to see the move 'Frozen' ... you MUST; you absolutely MUST. It's got a fabulous story line and even better music.

My two-year-old is in love with the main song, Let It Go (click here to listen). She asked this morning to listen to it on my phone in the car (and secretly, I really wanted to listen to it, too!). So I pulled up the YouTube video for about the thousandth time this month.

As the song blared from the backseat, it dawned on me how meaningful and heartfelt the words are for not only the movie, but for life.

Now, I know we are not living in a fairytale, with magical powers we have to keep hidden in order to reign over our kingdoms ... BUT, we do hold in valuable parts of ourselves in order to preserve what others think of us. Almost like living a lie or not telling the whole truth; afraid of what others would think of us if they REALLY knew.

We all face struggles. Each of us has our own issues. Our limitations will continue to challenge us.

Why do we try to cover for all of our flaws? What if we just got 'real' about who we REALLY are- bad parts and all?

Sure there will be judgment. Of course, others might think less of us. But, shame on them for their thoughts and shame on us for not being okay with who we really are.

We belted out the lyrics together this morning. And my mind raced with a few of my errors this week. I smiled as I heard the exact words I needed to hear, "Let it go!"

For today; for this Tuesday, try to let it go.

Let go of fears holding you back from sharing the 'real' you.
Let go of past failures standing in the way of future successes.
Let go of mistakes weighing on your mind.
Let go of the idea that you can be anything but YOU!

Let it go :)

 

It's time to let it go-we cannot #haveitall #beitall 

We must strive to just #bewhoweare 

Learn from your past & embrace your present journey!

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

 

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#marriagemonday: In It Together!

A quick 'I love you' text.

A mid-morning phone call.

A smirk or grin.

A loving touch.

A hand in the small of your back.

A listening ear.

A 'catch up on life' conversation.

What simple thing have you done lately to let your spouse know that you are in it together?

In it together! In WHAT together ... you might be asking?

Minutes. Hours. Days. Weeks. Months. Years.

Marriage.

Good, bad or indifferent- you are in it together. Some days may be hard. Some moments you may feel all alone. But, you must remember that through it all, you are together.

The winter has been long and cold. It's the hardest time of year to stay upbeat and positive. Funks (my word for life's down times) are in full force.

Don't despair. Lean on your spouse. Know you are not alone. Your commitment to one another will be in tact long after this dark time has passed. It will be strong when this time of year comes again and again and again.

Happy #marriagemonday to you! Are you ready for a challenge? Do you want out of this dark time of year?

Lent is right around the corner. Fat Tuesday is tomorrow and then a time to give up something for 40 days begins. My challenge is for you to not give up a thing, but rather add something to your each and every married day.

For 40 days, do something small, yet meaningful and intentional for your spouse. Leave a note. Send a text. Grab a morning snuggle. Take an extra minute. Do a chore. Start a car. Make a favorite meal. Buy a special snack.

More than anything, just take 40 days to remember why you married your spouse and how you felt the moment you said, "I do!" And then, after you remember, take the time needed to do the simple things that will make your relationship grow stronger yet.

I'm going to start my 40 days a little early with a 'shout out' for my dear hubby! Here's to a man who always has nice things to say about me (even when I'm being awful). He's never kept me away from friends (and actually pushes me out the door to spend time with the other special people in my life). He listens. He helps. He keeps me laughing. He makes me feel like I'm a princess and tells me over and over that he is the luckiest man on earth!

I think I'm the one who's lucky!

Gestures; appreciation; intentional acts.

 Marriage. Keep it strong.

 #40daysoflove #dowhatittakes #makeyourspousefeelspecial #inittogether

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

 

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