#throwbackthursday: Living a Life of Balance

I can't believe it's already Thursday again. Days, weeks and months are just flying by ... and I have to wonder, "Am I living my life with any sort of balance?" 

Last year at this time I was blogging about the Points to Ponder section at the beginning of my book, It's Okay: Let's Get Real About This Thing We Call Parenting (www.itsokaybooks.com). I was excited about the recent release of my book and had settled into my year off from work. 

I remember that life seemed to move more slowly when I wasn't working. The days seemed longer and I didn't feel as busy, yet, I don't think I felt any more balanced then than I do now. 

I've realized that balance isn't a 'place' in life you strive for. Rather, it's a feeling that comes and goes like the waves in the ocean. Sometimes the tide comes in slow and steady and other times it races in more quickly than you ever imagined it would. 

Enjoying little bits of each facet of your life allow you feel balanced. No one can create the enjoyment or contentment in your life, but YOU. Knowing everything won't be in sync at the same time will relax your expectations and allow you to get the most out of the pieces of your days, weeks and months that make the puzzle of your life complete. 

Here goes my thoughts from a year ago ... 

March 29th, 2013

Balance Is The Key ... But What's Yours

Points to Ponder #9- Balance is the key ... but, what's yours?

Seriously, how often have you heard that you need to find a balance?  Whether you are talking about family, work, health, money, relationships, etc., the key is always to find a good balance.  If only it were really that easy.  There are times in life when everything seems to be in sync; when you feel as though you have enough of everything and nothing is throwing you out of whack.  BUT, let's be honest, those times are very rare.  Those times don't last longer than a month or two, heck, sometimes even a day or two.  And then the rest of the weeks or months or years you feel like a circus dog trying to run in a circular ball that never stops spinning.

I like to compare life to laundry.  It seems that every once in a while, every dirty piece of laundry is clean, folded and put away.  In that rare moment, you feel like you can handle life, like things aren't that bad and the dirty laundry wasn't that hard to get under control.  You feel that way until just a short time later when your child wets the bed or spills a class of juice all over the table cloth or walks through the largest mud pile you've ever seen.  Even if one of those normal things don't happen, later in that same day that all the laundry was complete, you look in the baskets that live in the various spots in your home, and they all seem to be full.  What?  Just hours before EVERYTHING was clean.  That's how life is.  As soon as you feel like you've got this thing called life figured out, something changes or something happens that throws you for a major loop.

So, balance is definitely the key.  But, you can't look at what others say is a balanced life.  You have to look at your own needs, your own wants and your own issues.  We all have these things ... needs, wants and issues.  And they all affect us in different ways.  If we take time to examine our lives and figure out what makes us feel complete, we can start to achieve a small sense of balance in our lives.  The struggle is that our needs, wants and issues are constantly changing just as the world constantly moves.  Not to mention the fact that if you are in a family, you have to also consider the needs, wants and issues of everyone living in your home or in the family that you care for outside of your home.

I have come to the conclusion that balance is really just a juggling act.  Its about who can have the most balls in the air and manage them without letting them hit the ground.  We all do it differently.  Some are able to do it with more grace.  But, the bottom line is ... if you can manage the balls minute after minute, possibly day after day, and sometimes (thankfully) year after year, then you have some balance in your life.

Don't be so hard on yourself when you have a dirty house, a squabble with your spouse, a car that looks like you live in it, a workout that didn't get complete, a budget that went a little over last month, an extra beer that left you with a morning headache ... life is hard.  Do the best the can you can with what you have to work with and with as much force as you have day after day.  That's really all anyone can ask of you and your balance.

Good luck!

#tuesdaytip: Keep It Real!

I was about to skip my #tuesdaytip; to throw in the towel and admit, "I've got nothing!" Then it hit me ... where this journey all began.

The 'it's okay' philosophy began with the idea that we often avoid being authentic; being who we really are, because we are fearful of what others will think of us. Or, we are afraid that if we admit our inadequacies, they will somehow define us.

Let's get real. 

Getting 'real' means ...

1. Being honest about your flaws.
2. Laughing at your incredibly daunting moments.
3. Letting others in.
4. Admitting that you don't have all the answers.
5. Realizing that everyone has struggles (they are just all different).
6. Sharing pieces of yourself that are scary.
7. Trusting others won't think less of you for being you.
8. Forgiving yourself for past mistakes.
9. Understanding you're not alone.


10. Believing 'it's okay' to just do the best darn job you can with the strengths and limitations you were blessed with!

The other night I was checking out at Target. It was nearing 9:00 pm on a Saturday night and I was feeling as lucky as a Leprechaun to have just spent my Saturday night, alone, meandering through the isles of an almost empty store.

My cart was overflowing. I had a stack of coupons. I was excited to try my new Cartwheel App. Life was good.

As I started unloading, I apologized to the clerk; knowing that he was probably ready to be done for the night and I had a million things to check out.

The man smiled bright at me and said, "It's no problem for me. I'm here for the next 20 minutes and might as well be helping someone. Looks like you had an enjoyable shopping experience!" He was kind, funny, helpful, enthusiastic and REAL!

Our conversation took many turns. I asked him if he had heard of the book, The Energy Bus, by Jon Gordon. He hadn't but was interested to know why I asked. I told him he reminded me of the bus driver in the book who had an extremely positive outlook and changed the lives of the riders who joined her bus.

He chuckled, "My guidance counselor told me that she was sure one day I'd find something I was good at. She tried to motivate me by asking what I'd do with a million dollars."

I smiled and admitted, "I'm an elementary guidance counselor. I always tell my students it's not about making a million! Rather, it's more important to find a job they like and are good at ... that will PAY the bills."

Our conversation ended with him telling me he thought it was great that I'm honest and 'real' with the kids. I made sure to tell him how much I appreciated his help and his conversation. Who would have thought I'd find such a joyful and authentic conversation checking out at Target?

It's not about revealing all your deep dark secrets. It's not about one-upping someone's struggles. It's not about complaining about all your life nuances.

Just be you. Be honest. Show empathy to others. Understand that life is hard. Keep it real!

This Tuesday, take time to evaluate your authentic self. Examine what parts of your life you might hiding behind. Admit to yourself what you are afraid to admit to others. Don't be afraid to be less than perfect; after all ... there isn't a perfect person out there.

Keep it real. #beauthentic #openup #shareyourself #trust 

It's not easy to admit you're less than perfect. #bebrave 

It's okay to be 100% you!

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

 

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#marriagemonday: He Played Our Song

Click here to listen to Bonnie Raitt's Feels Like Home

Why is music so powerful? What is it about a song that plummets a person back in history? Feelings and memories flood the heart and mind ... all because of a song.

This Saturday we had darn near nothing to do. It was fabulous. The day was spent cleaning, playing, cleaning some more and playing some more.

Before dinner, we all ended up downstairs. My hubby was playing songs for the kids on the computer; each taking turns picking their favorites. I stayed the course of cleaning (I'm kind of a fun-hater!). My kids called out that it was my turn to pick.

I was reluctant to answer. I couldn't think of a single song title at that moment. I froze.

My better half came to my rescue. "I know a song mom would like," he announced with a smile.

I thanked him and continued on my cleaning way. But, as soon as I heard the first few notes and saw him put the computer down, I knew what was coming.

The toys were taken out of my hand and tossed on the floor. Then and there he demanded that I dance with him. It only lasted about 20 seconds before we were bombarded by the kids, but those 20 seconds were pretty wonderful.

Our wedding song was playing in the background. Our children were surrounding us. At that moment, I took nothing for granted.

I think back to the day of our wedding, not knowing what was in store for our future. Our road has had many turns- some unexpected. There have been amazing, breath-taking moments and terrible, jaw-wrenching moments. Highs, lows, twists, turns, ups and downs.

Marriage; a true blessing; a lot of work. But, worth every effort. 

This last week I've been saddened for many friends who have lost loved ones. As I sit reflecting on lives lost, I'm reminded how important it is to count my blessings and take nothing for granted. When we are most frustrated with the nuances of life, we must try to appreciate being alive.

It's okay if you haven't been the best spouse this week. It's okay if you've reacted in a way you are not proud of. It's okay if you've gotten caught up in your own life struggles.

It's okay to start fresh today. Play a song that brings you back to a place of peace, love and hope (and don't be afraid to dance!).

Nothing better than feeling at home w/ the one you love #marriageisablessing 

Play a love song & #taketimetodance 

Live life & #appreciatelove

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

 

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#throwbackthursday: YOU Make an Impact!

It's time to #throwback to last year around this time. Last March I was focusing on the Points to Ponder section at the beginning of my book, It's Okay: Let's Get Real About This Thing We Call Parenting (www.itsokaybooks.com).  I was trying to figure out (and still am) where this 'author' adventure will take me.

Point #8 is incredibly important for us all to remember: You Can Be a Powerful Force.

Do you believe you are valuable? Do you know how you make a difference? Do you see the impact you make in this world?

If you answered, "No" to any of those questions, it's time for you recognize your importance and special place on this earth. You ARE valuable. You DO make a difference. You IMPACT this world every day you get out of bed!

Enjoy my thoughts from last year ...

Thursday, March 28th, 2013

You Can Be A Powerful Force

Points to Ponder #8- You can be a powerful force

We sometimes feel so small and insignificant.  We can easily talk ourselves into believing that we don't make a difference.  The things that rattle around in our brain can cause us to think we are not important to others.  Things like, "No one will notice if I'm not there," or "Why should I even go, they don't need me?"

We make excuse after excuse about how we are not worthy, how others can do it better and how our life isn't as important as others.

STOP!  You are important.  You DO make a difference.

Every where you go, every person you see, every job you do ... it can and should be meaningful.  Even just a trip to the grocery story can impact a handful of people. Your smile or kind words might be the only thing a person needed to turn his/her day around. Your kind gesture could cause a ripple effect of random acts of kindness all over your city.

You and you alone, need to decide that you DO make a difference; that your presence IS needed.

It is unbelievable how much power we have as people.  We can light someone up like a firecracker going off.  We can make someone feel on top of the world.  BUT, we can also blow out the only dim light that may have been present in a soul.  While we need to believe that we are important and can make a difference, we also have to realize that our difference may not be a good one. We have to use our power carefully.

Last week, I was helping my daughter sell Girl Scout cookies at a booth. A man was leaving and debating whether or not to purchase from these adorable little girls. He stopped and said, "You know, I don't need any cookies, but here's money for a box. Tell the next person walking by that he/she gets a free box of cookies."

The little girls were blown away. That man's free box turned in over 10 people paying it forward.  He made such a difference ... all for $3.50. Not only did he affect multiple people in the store that day, but he taught my daughter a most valuable lesson first hand. She saw the great impact that a small gesture can make!

You DO make a difference. Never believe that you don't. Remember to be careful with your power and use it in the most positive way you can! 

#tuesdaytip: Live Life Young!

It's easy to use age as an excuse to skip out on living! Why? Why should we let our age define who we are and what we are capable of?

This Tuesday, let's all remember to live life young. Let's go back to our youth and remember what life is really all about.

Playing too long. Laughing too loud. Running too fast. Smelling too many flowers. Exploring the 'why' and 'how' of life. Asking ridiculous questions. Wearing mismatched clothes. Watching favorite shows (over and over and over).

The list could go on and on.

When we are able to live our lives young, it is impossible to take for granted the millions of blessing surrounding us. Little people are not confined to the prim and proper. They can explore and love and create and design and live life fully.

Schedules. Obligations. Due dates. Deadlines. Routines.

Blah. Blah. Blah.

Let's not life duties define how we live our lives. Let's instead, complete the things that must be done, but leave time and energy to actually appreciate the beauty life has to offer.

Today ... laugh a little harder than you have recently; try something new; let yourself be a younger version of the responsible adult you have become.

It's okay to do something people your age wouldn't normally do. It's okay to laugh so hard your face and belly hurt. It's okay to remember to live life young!

Live life young! Let loose- go back to your youth. 

#laughoutloud #taketimetosmelltheroses #explore 

Be proud of your age, but don't act it!

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

 

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#marriagemonday: Why Did You Fall In Love With ME?

This picture was posted on Facebook a few months ago. I shared it on my personal page, knowing that someday it would make for a great #marriagemonday photo!

"What in the hell did you see in me? I used to think I was kind of cool, but I was just a big dork."

This was my husbands comment to me after looking through some of our old photos the other day.

I laughed (very loudly) and told him he'd always be cool to me (then I laughed again!).

On Saturday, my son had a friend over to play. I opened a box of Girl Scout cookies to have all the kids share. There were three left over. I offered them to my husband, but he didn't want any at the time. I, of course, did not let them go to waste and polished off the last three.

He actually asked Sunday where the rest of the cookies were. My comment, "Seriously, how long have we been married? When have I ever saved a dessert?"

It was his turn to laugh. I DO NOT share dessert. In fact, if there were only one of something left, I would eat it without any regrets. I was the youngest of four children ... food should not wait to be eaten (or it will be eaten before you have a chance to enjoy it).

My husband sat in wonder for a moment. He commented that I don't show my love for him by sharing dessert and wondered how I DO show that I love him.

"Are you serious?" The light-hearted conversation was going to go south quickly. Luckily he was chuckling at me the whole time.

I began to list all the zillions of things I do around the house- scheduling, budgeting, cleaning, laundry, cooking. Then I mentioned phone calls and texts and e-mails.

We both ended up laughing when he said that phone calls didn't count since I never answer when he calls lately (this was extremely funny since I've been missing ALL phone calls because something is amiss with my ringer!).

At some point in all of our relationships with our spouses, something changed from 'falling in love' to just 'being in love'. When we all 'fell' in love, there was excitement and adventure and unknown. Now, we KNOW it all AND we are still with them!!!!!

Surely our marriages still have excitement and adventure, but life is life. Bills must be paid. Laundry must be washed. Houses must be cleaned. Obligations must be met. These things must go on within our married lives.

The question, then, "How do you show love to your spouse?", is a tricky one. I immediately jumped to the completion of 'tasks' as a way to show my love. Yeah, right. That's not love. That's life.

I do call, text and e-mail my hubby often, but his question has left me pondering what I could be doing better. It's easy to get caught up in all that must be done and even easier to forget what could be done.

So, I'm encouraging you (and myself) to continue the 40-day 'love your spouse' challenge. When lent started, I blogged about doing something special each day for your spouse for 40 days. At first, I was great. I started his car, sent little love e-mails and texts ... and then, I forgot that I was supposed to be doing extra special things for the extra special person in my life.

Answer the question, "How do you show love to your spouse?" If, like me, you start to list the zillion life tasks you do to make life a success- reevaluate. I know I will reflect on this question for many days to come and I hope you do, too!

If you have any great ideas for the rest of us to learn from, leave a comment or e-mail me (teresahamilton@itsokaybooks.com). Next week maybe there will be some great advice for all of us!

How do you show your love for your spouse? 

Is it more than just completion of daily life tasks? 

#makeaneffort  #makeitlast #nomoremonotony

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

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#fridayfolly: I Slowed Down!

It's Friday ... time again for me to reflect on the week; the good, the bad and the ugly! This week, though, I think my #folly is actually a #wonder!

Spring break week was upon us- yippee!

Our family needed a week of no rushing and a little relaxation. Why, you might ask, is it bad that I slowed down? The answer ... it isn't! It's wonderful. The problem is that it's back to the grind on Monday and I don't know that I'm prepared to get out of my 'slow down' state (which, again, might not be all that bad)!

This week was full of fun: parks, pool, movie, gym time, zoo, indoor play place, lunch with dad, basement playing, coloring and lots of sit-down time. While we had our moments of sibling squabbles, overall it was a huge success. Yeah, us!

Weeks like this are what life is all about. It's important to remember, though, that life is not one big vacation. Life still has responsibilities, obligations and LOTS of things to pay for. 

The struggle in life is realizing how to balance. It's understanding when it's time to work and when it's time to play. The unfortunate thing for me, is that I sometimes forget how to let things go in order to enjoy playtime. 

I know next week, the you-know-what is going to hit the fan. All the things that I dreadfully avoided this week (when I could have got them done) are going to catch up to me and stress me out. I hope next week I'm not writing a #fridayfolly about me spoiling too many days with my crabby attitude.

Just in case I forget why this week was so wonderful, I'll share my top 10 lessons learned from living life just a little bit slower!

10. Coffee tastes so much better on the couch curled up in pj's than it does being chugged in the car rushing too and fro!

             I must remember to JUST SIT and ENJOY. 

9. Helping a child complete a task or homework is far more rewarding when the mind isn't racing about a million other things needing to be done. 

             I must remember to BE PRESENT!

8. Being together is more fun than being along- no matter what you are doing. 

             I must remember NOT to take my obnoxious family for GRANTED. 

7. Parks are way better when they are played on- 'tickle monster' never gets old. 

             I must remember to PLAY!

6. Harsh, mean words stick far longer than sweet, kind comments. 

             I must remember to be a LOVING example for my kiddos (kindness does spread). 

5. Life moves too quickly, but slowing down and skipping chores allows for more enjoyment.

             I must remember to LIVE in the MOMENT (and let the dishes sit)!

4. Sometimes doing 'nothing', leads to hours of productive imaginative play. 

             I must remember to STAY PUT and JUST BE. 

3. Being frugal is a great money saver, but sometimes it's okay (and easier) to just splurge. 

             I must remember it's okay to SPEND our well-earned money. 

2. Family is most important, but friends can bring out the best in each member. 

             I must remember to MAKE TIME for friends. 

1. Morning snuggles are precious and start the day on the right foot. 

           I must remember to HUG my children every single morning!

Do less #lovemore 

Slow down #increaseappreciation 

Count blessings #noticemoregood 

Things don't matter #relationshipsdo 

Don't waste #taketime

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

 

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