January 29th, 2013

I'm excited to finally get this blog up and running!  While I am not sure yet the road I will travel with this blog, my hope is to promote my book and it's message in small doses.  My book, It's Okay: Let's Get Real About This Thing We Call Parenting, is my first.  The philosophy of 'It's Okay' started when I was working full time and feeling like I could not complete any part of my life well.  My job was suffering, my kids were driving me crazy, my husband and I were bickering constantly, I felt fat and unhealthy, and, and, and...

So, as I shared my feelings with a few people, I found that I was not alone in my struggles.  Though it was terribly hard to admit that I was feeling like a failure, when I finally did, I realized that I was not.  I realized that it's okay to be overwhelmed.  It's okay to slow down.  It's okay to not love every minute of the life I was blessed with.  I could feel the way I did and still be thankful. 

My book is all about moments in parenting that can be extremely overwhelming at the time, but if we step back, we can actually laugh at the moment and realize that it's okay!  Just the other day, I had a one event after another that could have come together for an amazing story in my next book...

I was getting four kids ready to get out the door for my son's wrestling tournament.  My husband had left at 5:00am to go and help set up the tournament.  We were to be there by 8:30.  The morning was one frustrating moment after another.  I had a screaming match with my four-year-old, actually thinking that I might come out the winner...NOT!  So, we got out the door, late- but out the door.  We arrived at the tournament at 8:40.  Not horrible.  However, the line to get in was a block and a half long.  I quickly ran to the front thinking since I had a wrestler, we could all get in.  Wrong again.  Only my son could go in.  So in trying to call my husband and waiting for him to come to the door (I was NOT going to send my six year old into an arena by HIMSELF), the line grew considerably longer.  Oh, and it was raining that morning.  So, the eight-year-old, four-year-old, one-year-old and myself trudge back to the end of the line.  Twenty minutes later we were finally up to buy our tickets.  "That will be $16."  What? I thought she was kidding.  This was a tournament for kids...seriously?  Anyway, I, of course, only had $12 cash.  So I asked if they took check cards.  You guessed it...nope.  So I drag my whiney children over to the ATM.  It ate $20 of my dollars.  Ugh.  Second try...the cash came out.  As we went back to pay...my one-year-old took off.  We make it to the window to pay (it was a different lady this time) and she announces, "That will be $12."  Are you kidding me?  I paid and headed in.  Guess what time my son finally wrestled...11:30.  Yes, you heard right, I had to deal with my four children for two and a half hours.  Our snacks were gone within twenty minutes. 

So, I left my hubby with my son and we headed home to nap the one-year-old.  After eating lunch and getting ready to take my girls to a basketball game for girlscouts, I had a moment of peace.  I should not have let my guard down.  I should have known better.  My four-year-old wet her pants.  Not just a little on her underwear, but all over the couch.  The puddle below on the floor looked like a full gallon of liquid was spilled.  I cleaned her up, helped her change and headed back upstairs.  I was greeted by my son's puppy (Santa brought him...why? why? why?).  He had spilled his entire water bowl ALL over the kitchen.  Oh, and we were supposed to leave in two minutes.  My sleeping daughter had pooped herself and I had to deal with that too. 

Finally, we made it to the game.  A little late, but not horrible.  We get in and start to get settled.  I asked my oldest daughter if she wanted to switch me seats so that she could sit by her friend.  As we were switching I leaned on the row of seats in front of me to let her slide by.  It was really too bad that the seats move both forward and backward.  It moved, I lost my balance and completely fell over the seat in front of me and landed on the floor.  My legs were hiked up over my head and for a minute or two I was frozen as to what my next move could possibly be.  The game ended up being pretty enjoyable, but if I want to get 'real' about it, it was completely overwhelming trying to control my two younger children and entertain them so that we could make it through the two hour game. 

As we were leaving the game and saying our goodbyes my four-year-old announced she had to pee.  So, I sent my oldest with her.  I was talking to an adult when I looked over to find my eight-year-old on top of my four-year-old trying to stop her from going somewhere.  The only problem...it was right in the middle of the hallway.  The hallway where the entire stadium was exiting.  I ended the battle, got everyone in and out of the bathroom and could hardly breathe.  Tears pricked my eyes the whole way back to the car.  

My good friend called while I was driving.  I didn't recount all the horrors in my day, but let her know I was feeling guilty that I was having such a crappy day knowing that we had another friend who had a daughter in the hospital.  I mean my day WAS NOT that bad.  She reminded me that 'it's okay' to feel overwhelmed and to wallow in my misery every once in a while.  

My hubby and I got to go out that night with friends.  A margarita and some good old fashioned adult conversation made it all better.  It's okay! 

Check out my website at http://itsokaybooks.com!