Big Picture

Sometimes the minor details of life tend to overwhelm or frustrate us.  Really, though, we have to remember it's the big picture that matters.  It's the overall outcome that is most important.  When we look back through the years, it's important to remember that 'the days may have been long' but, 'the years were really short'. 

People who are seasoned, who have lived in this world much longer than I, often offer the advice, "Enjoy this time with your kids.  It goes way too fast."  When I was a first-time mom, everything was new and exciting.  Each new stage, every smirk and grin ... I appreciated it all.  I didn't understand why I was receiving this advice because at the time, things weren't moving all that quickly.  I was able to enjoy each moment and relish in the joys that were occurring.

Fast forward to having four kids and a house full of madness.  I get the advice.  I understand that time does fly when you least expect it and before you know it, your littlest baby is two years old.  The tiny baby that was once your first pride and joy becomes eight years old and almost taller than her aunt.

Last night I was playing volleyball.  I had put out some minor fires in the midst of playing the game, but was still able to focus while my four children were busy playing with the other kids.  The team we were playing was young and fresh and kid-less.  It made our team laugh to think back to the days when that was us.  No cares in the world except to not enjoy ourselves too much because work might be a little long the next day.

We had eight kids playing in the sand beside our court- all belonging to our team.  We only had five people because we were short a player, but we were holding our own.  The last game was about to wrap up; only a few more points and we would be able to claim two of the three wins.  My two-year-old ventured onto the court and WAS NOT going to get off.  One of our players tried to move her, my daughter tried to hold her back ... she was not going to have it.

I left my team to fend with four players while I consoled my littlest.  I tried every bribe in the book, even offering to buy her a pop afterwards if she would just let me go finish the game.  Minutes later, the team came off the court ... Victorious!  They had won despite only having four players.  I was a little frustrated, embarrassed ... I don't know exactly.  But, I was ready to call it quits and just head home.  Why?  It was only a few minutes of my night that got spoiled.  And, it wasn't even spoiled.  I got to snuggle my upset baby and my team still won.

I regrouped, bought a pizza (fighting off the crying two-year-old to buy a pop; I was so proud of myself for not giving in), and enjoyed a beer with friends.  The night was a huge success when you look at the big picture.  The kids had a wonderful time, I had great conversation with friends ... who could ask for more?

Little moments sometimes spoil our overall perception of things.  I was only inconvenienced for a few minutes out of what turned out to be a three-hour time span.  That little moment was only going to destroy the night IF I LET IT!  Which, I often do.

It's good to be reminded that kids will be kids.  It's equally important to remember that life is not meant to be perfect.  There are bumps in the road and curves along the ride.  It's what I make of it that is important!

Here's to wishing you have a wonderful weekend; that on Sunday night you can look back and see the big picture.  I'm sure it won't be perfect, that there will be minor hang-ups!  Don't let them get you down.  Let the daunting moments pass and get wrapped up in the overall goodness!

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

 

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Pathetic, I Know!

Well, I may be pathetic ... but, I did it!  I got up this morning (after snoozing only three times), grabbed a t-shirt, swished some mouthwash (brushing my teeth would have woke the dog), ran downstairs, dressed as quickly as I could and headed out the front door.  It was after I got about a block that I realized my eyes still weren't quite open, that my hair looked like Medusa and my face probably looked like Frankenstein. 

I got out the door for a run this morning WITHOUT anyone bothering me.  I had 30 glorious minutes of peace.  The neighborhood was quiet, the lake looked crystal clear, the birds and crickets were singing loudly and the baby bunny I encountered may have been the cutest one I have ever seen.  I must say that my morning seemed even more beautiful because no one was spoiling it!

Getting up early with the hopes of getting in a quick run or doing a little work or just having some quiet time often get spoiled by an early riser.  I'm going to thrive on the fact that this morning it actually work ... pathetic as it was ... I made it out the door without dealing with anyone but my pathetic self!

I'd be lying if I didn't confess that yesterday was a little daunting.  My five-year-old got the best of me.  At one point I just sat in the front seat holding my two-year-old with a tear running down ... my terror had locked the back van door and was refusing to move.  I didn't have the energy to fight, so I just sat and waited.  The whole day seemed to be filled with those kind of daunting moments, but I won't bore you with the details. 

It's okay.  Today is fresh.  Today is new.  And as I look back, yesterday wasn't ALL bad.  I sure needed that jog this morning.  I've got three kids parked in front of the TV right now and one still sleeping.  The craziness is going to take over soon.  I promise to try not to forget this amazing moment when times get difficult today!

Here's to wishing your day has a peaceful moment tucked away in it.  It may not last for long, but try to relish in it.  Let it revive you.  Let it give you the fresh, clear, new perspective you need:)

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

 

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Seriously? COME ON!

So we headed out the door this morning to walk/ride bikes to the school for the summer library program.  I had this amazing plan to go to the program and then go for a run pushing the jogging stroller with the youngest while the three oldest kids rode their bikes.  You know what they say about great plans?  Well, life definitely intervened.

My five-year-old thought her idea to 'push' her baby in a separate stroller on our walk to school was WAY better than my plan.  I didn't want to deal with a fight, so I decided to let her.  I figured I could go for a run as soon as we got home.  Again, life intervened.

The two-year-old WAS NOT going to let her older sister push the baby stroller and insisted on doing it herself.  I was quite impressed that the five-year-old was actually going to share and let her push, so I didn't fight it.  I thought the two-year-old would tire out quickly and so off we went ... the two oldest kids on their bikes, my five-year-old supervising her two-year-old sister pushing the baby doll in a stroller, and me pushing an empty jogging stroller.

The walk to school took no less than 25 minutes (it's easily a 10 minute walk on a normal day).  My two-year-old DID NOT tire out.  It was incredibly daunting ... the bunny, the bird, the bug, the swaying tree ... the baby stroller stopped about every two seconds.  The whole time I tried some positive self-talk, "Just enjoy this moment, they are having so much fun.  The older two aren't complaining and are waiting nicely at each corner.  This is what it's all about."  Ha, ha, ha.  My positive self-talk was NOT working.

We made it to school, we made it through check-out, we made an adorable butterfly craft.  Then, it was time to venture home.  OH MY GOODNESS.  By the third block, I was about ready to blow my top.  It was taking FOREVER.  When we were finally two blocks from home, after what seemed like an eternity (I mean each block I think I stopped 50 times, encouraging the younger two to keep walking), I sent my older two home.  I let them ride without my supervision.  I reminded them to double-check the streets.  I told them they could go in the front door and wait for us to get there.

I couldn't take it any more.  I picked up the stroller with the baby doll and hiked it over my shoulder.  And for the last two blocks here is how the best laid plan panned out ...

A crazy mother pushing and EMPTY stroller while carrying an umbrella stroller with a baby doll strapped in.  She was followed by a five-year-old trying to console a screaming two-year-old.  After being screamed at from the back deck by an older sibling about what the problem was, the five-year-old shouted, "She's having an attitude problem.  She's throwing a fit." 

Seriously!  The walk home took FOREVER.  And, then to have it end with the five-year-old talking about someone having an attitude.  Nothing other than the pot calling the kettle black:)  The run never happened, but at least we made it home in one piece.

It's okay.  Hopefully not to many people were home to witness the incredible event!

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

 

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Just DON'T Sit Down!

Am I the only human being who loses all motivation to do ANYTHING once my butt hits the couch?  I swear, as long as I DO NOT sit down, I can get stuff done.  Even if I have to walk eight laps around the house, only putting four things away, I'm still more productive than if I give into the hideous temptation of my couch.

There are times during the year when my husband and I have our favorite shows.  These become our priority (sad, I know) when putting our children in bed.  These few nights are designated 'our show' nights.  The kids know that we get extra grouchy if the bedtime routine takes too long.  We don't ask a lot ... just that we can watch our darn shows.  And, I'm talking two or three.  If we were in the newest century and weren't so cheap, we could just DVR our shows and watch them later.  But, alas, we have the cheapest cable possible and so if we miss our show, we miss it.

Last night was the season finale of 'The Voice'.  Love, love, love this show.  I've missed a few episodes because we are full-on into our summer routine and forget about our show nights.  But, last night, I was not going to forget.

I sent my husband and two kids to a friend's baseball game and stayed home with my oldest and youngest.  The little one has not hit her pillow before 10:00 pm the last four nights (I know, 'Mom of the Year') and so she got to get in her crib promptly at 7:15.  The oldest needed her rest as well, but she really wanted to see who the winner would be.

When I sat down at 8:00 pm last night, I made a huge mistake.  Not only did I not fight having my child go to bed, but I took a snoozer right in the middle of MY show.  Yes, I fell asleep on the couch.  It took everything in me just to get up to feed the dog and let him out to go pee.  My daughter took a little nap as well, but I woke her just before the winner was announced.

I am no good to anyone once my butt hits the couch.  I know I need some relaxing nights, but I was beyond pathetic last night.  I'm hoping I'm not alone in being so lazy that I will have to rewash the load of laundry that has been sitting in the machine for two days.  I also left the dinner dishes to deal with this morning.  I left a heap of pool towels and swimsuits (thank goodness they were dry) lying on the only end of the couch not inhabited by me or my daughter.  The list of things I SHOULD have done will go on and on!  Next time I have to remember to 'just NOT sit down'!

It's okay.

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'.

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Daily Devotional

Why is it that good habits take so long to form and can be forgotten in a day?  I heard somewhere that it takes three weeks or 21 days to form a habit.  Three weeks of doing something new and out of your regular routine is a challenge to say the least.  And then, sometimes it feels like the universe is out to get you.  You have a few good days or even a couple weeks of putting a good habit into place and BAM, something new rocks your world.  You get sick or throw out your back or have to go out of town ... the list of why good habits don't get formed is so long.

A habit that I got into two years ago was that every morning I would get up just five minutes earlier and go downstairs, alone, and read a short daily devotion.  These devotions are no more than two or three paragraphs and are quick and easy to follow.  I grew out of my habit after a month or so and haven't picked up the book except here or there since.  Why?  It always put me in the right frame of mind for the day.  It always made me feel better and gave me just a little peace before the craziness of life took hold.  I simply quit the good habit and got out of the routine.  It's so easy to let go of good practices.

Well, last night as I was preparing to host bible study at my house, I pulled out my old 'good habit'.  I read yesterday's devotion and what do you know?  The first sentence was, "Learn to laugh at yourself more freely."  It followed up in the next two paragraphs talking about how we take ourselves and our lives too seriously and we miss the Joy of the world created by God.  We take the world on our shoulders, thinking we have to do it all alone; that we are alone in our struggles.

We are not alone.  We are not the only human that struggles, the only parent who makes mistakes, the only worker who doesn't have all the answers.  I purposefully left the daily devotional book out on the counter so I would be encouraged to read it yet again today.  It was about how we get wrapped up in our 'plans' and try to anticipate what is coming next, rather than enjoying the gifts we are surrounded by.

I felt like the last two days of devotions really sum up what the 'it's okay' philosophy means to me.  While I don't clearly state that God is behind every action and blessing, it's important to remember.  We will mess up.  We will fail.  We will feel alone.  In our darkest hour, not only are there other people in the world who can relate, but God is always in our corner to pick us up and remind us we are not ever alone!

Here's to wishing you luck with any 'good habits' you are trying to put in place.  Whether it's working out, not yelling at your kids, finding time to read ... however you are trying to improve your world ... remember that every little step will make a huge difference to the wonderful person you are already are!  Never forget, you already are amazing just because you are you!

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'.

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

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Who Knows What the Future Holds

Tomorrow is such a mystery. Whether we are parenting or just living our lives, the curve balls that come at us leave us questioning how it's all going to end up. As I think back to my past, it's hard to pin-point just one thing that got me to where I am today. My parents played a huge role, but then what? Was it friends, sports, activities, school? I struggle at times to realize that my children's futures are not in my hands. I cannot 'make' them be someone they are not.  I cannot force them to enjoy things that aren't pleasurable to them. I cannot look into the future and pick what they are going to be when they grow up.  Heck, I'm still trying to figure that out myself.

The other day we were leaving the forest after dropping off #3 at camp.  My #2 and only boy had picked up a rock and decided he wanted to see if he could chuck it into the forest.  It's a shame that his aim is quite poor. It's equally devastating that he is not as strong as he thinks.  The rock he threw went straight up into the air and smashed into a car parked right beside ours. The driver ... a mother putting bug spray on her child, was standing in the back of the car.  The rock only missing her and her two children by a foot.  I suppose I should be thankful that it didn't hit them.

I apologized profusely, had my son apologize and got in the car near tears. My only question for my boy, "What were you thinking?" I didn't yell, I wasn't mean to him. I was just so stunned and so disappointed. Flashes of future criminal activity started to flood my brain. Feelings of guilt, shame and embarrassment overcame me. I took a few deep breaths, regained some composure and then had a nice conversation with the boy.

When we were on our way to camp drop-off today I had him write the kind mother a note. At the end I told him to tell her what he learned from this tragic denting event. If nothing else, I told him that because she was a mother, she would be okay that he hit her car if he learned something from it. He seemed confused. I said, the next time you are going to throw a rock, will you remember this and how you felt? He agreed that he would and that he learned that he shouldn't throw rocks.

Our lives will curve and twist and change. We will struggle, we will fail, we will make big mistakes. We will have moments that we wish we could take back. Our futures are unknown. The only thing that we can hope for is that we enjoy the ride and wherever it takes us. So my son hit a car with a rock. I am still mortified. It was completely innocent. I've come to realize, though, that without bends in the road, we will never find the right path. We need to mess up in order to change our behavior and do better next time.

As you struggle through this thing called life and work through your mistakes, my hope is that you will not be so hard on yourself and realize that messing up is half the battle of being better for the future!

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'.

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

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Little Gestures, Major Differences

This morning as I was in a rush to grab a few things at our local Aldi, my two-year-old and I spotted a couple who had finished with their cart.  You have to deposit a quarter to get a cart.  I only had three dimes so was I hopeful that someone would give me their cart for the extra nickel.  Well, the kind woman wouldn't take my change.  I tried twice to give her the money she would have gotten from returning the cart.  She insisted, "Just take the cart!"

I thanked her several times and encouraged her to have a wonderful day.  Her smile is still shining bright in my mind.  After completing our shopping trip, I was determined to pay it forward.  There was a woman just getting out of her car, so we raced over to her with the cart.  She scrambled to try to find her quarter.  I told her just to take it, that someone had offered it to me and I was paying it forward.

Such a little thing ... a quarter.  But, what a major difference it made in my day.  By doing small acts and by noticing small joys, life does not seem so daunting or over-whelming.  I was running late to pick up my five-year-old, but instead of panicking, I thought of the kind woman's smile.  I turned on the music and just told myself, "It's going to be okay."  I was able to remind myself that I would be no good to anyone if I wrecked the van trying to hurry so I wouldn't be late.  A few minutes wouldn't be that big of deal.

Because I was a little late to pick up my five-year-old, I was going to be a little late to pick up my older two.  I was speeding a little down the winding dirt road when out jumped the most beautiful doe.  Now, my heart was racing and I started to beat myself up for the loss of calmness I had just ten minutes prior.  But, my attitude changed quickly when I was able to think about the beauty of the deer that I just encountered.  My two daughters in the car saw the deer race up a hill and leap over a bush.  It was quite amazing.  Again, kind of a small event, but it had a major impact on reminding me to slow down and appreciate the life around me.

Yesterday I blogged about the 'funk' my family has been in the last few weeks.  It is still long gone today.  Life is so much sweeter when I take time to appreciate the little things in life.  I'm not quite as irritable or hard on my children.  I'm more apt to chuckle with them than tell them to be quiet.  I'm more likely to jump in a game rather than getting upset when someone doesn't play by the rules and ruin the game.  I'm a better me when I slow down, watch and listen for the gifts that are right in front of me.  It's up to me to stop and notice them:)

Happy hump day!  Here's to wishing you have a little gesture today that makes a major difference in the way your day turns out.  And, if you don't, that you do a small gesture for someone else to make a major difference in how their day turns out.

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'.

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

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