Tuesday Tip: Just Do It ... Or Don't

My Tuesday Tip is a little wishy-washy ... because sometimes in life, we need to pull up our bootstraps and just 'getter-done'! BUT, sometimes in life, we need to just throw the towel in, sit down and relax.

So many things in life would be made easier if we would just stay on top of them ... laundry, homework, dishes, household maintenance, etc. Staying on top of the little things in life is so great- IN THEORY!

Now, let's talk about reality.

I signed up to do a 1/2 marathon in the hopes of getting my lazy bottom moving again. If I signed up, I'd have to do, right? Well, life has definitely gotten in the way of my training. I was supposed to do a seven-mile run this last weekend (of course, I was also supposed to run four other times last week) ... ha! Let's just say I DID NOT do it. But, I did get up this morning and run five miles. Yeah for me- kind of.

So, I got up and ran. But, then, there was that problem of also having time to get the kids ready for school and myself presentable to walk them to school. Shower ... nope. Two-year-old dressed ... nope.

We made it to school, but the pacifier was still glued to the two-year-old's mouth and the winter pj's that she slept in last night were a HOT choice for our 85 degree walk to school.

It's okay.

I've had a library book that is two weeks over-due. It's already been renewed twice ... they won't let me legally keep it any longer. I AM going to finish it. Even though I will owe fine after fine to get it done.

Life is not neat and pretty. Household chores and summer projects and fixing life up goes by the wayside. Day to day living is hard enough sometimes. We can not do it all.

That being said, if you've got the spirit and the oomph, JUST DO IT!

If you don't have it in you, JUST DON'T. But, then don't beat yourself up about it for days or weeks or months or years.

We are all good at different things. God blessed us each with unique strengths and limitations. Priorities will be different for each of us. Sometimes putting one dish away is just too much. And sometimes cleaning the whole house is no problem.

Go with it. Go with the mood you are in. Get done what you can ... leave the rest for tomorrow (or next year).

When our lives are over, what's going to matter more? Projects completed or relationships fostered? To-Do lists crossed off or play-time memories? Neat and clean vacuum lines or quality time with friends and family?

Balance is the key.

So, as wishy-washy as the Tuesday Tip is ... here's to hoping you are able to get done what is needing to be done while still enjoying the time you have with the loved ones around you!

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

 

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Back-To-School Blues

Ready. Set. Go!

No rest for the weary!

Slow is not an option!

Up, up, up. Go, go, go.

School year, here we come.

Whether you are a stay-at-home parent, part-time worker or an all year full-time worker, back-to-school is a tricky time of year. Transitions are hard on everyone. Summer fun has to end. Busy schedules will begin again.

While some of us handle change better than others, no matter what circumstance you are in, saying good-bye to summer is difficult and exciting all at the same time.

There is that feeling of wanting to be back in a normal routine. There is hope that getting on a schedule will somehow help your children get along better. There is the thought that school will somehow give you 'more' time.

It's hard. Going back to school is just plain hard. Why is that you look forward to kicking the kids to the curb all summer (when they are awfully behaved), but then the moment you drop them off you are left feeling empty?

There's something special about summer ... later nights, BBQ's with friends, sleeping in, vacations, less rushing, family time, etc. Of course, there is also the sibling rivalry, the boredom, the whining and the endless amounts of crap that pile up from being home all day!

You can't win with this thing called life. In one breathe, you want freedom from your kids and the next, you feel lost and alone without them. You beg for time to get stuff done, but then the time comes and you want nothing to do with all that summer-project list you never touched.

It's okay to struggle with this transition back to school. It's okay that my five-year-old is successful at school, but can't make it a second at home without getting into trouble. It's normal to feel torn about sending your kids off to school. It's okay to wish for something different. It's okay to look back and wonder what the heck you did with your summer.

The important thing ... the thing to remember ... these times are hard. Emotions will be out of whack for everyone in your family. Schedules will get crazy. You will get cranky. Your kids will do the unexpected.

Try to take it all in stride. Try to pick out and appreciate the amazing moments you had this summer. Notice the wonderful things happening through all the changes occurring. Don't beat yourself up when things aren't what you thought they would be. Give yourself credit when you handle something well. Tell your kids when they do something right. Keep your head up. Smile. Enjoy the day for what it's worth and remember ... "It's okay, there's always next summer!"

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

 

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Tuesday Tip: Don't Get Caught Up

My Tuesday Tip is one that we all struggle with. Whether we want to admit it or not, there are times when we get caught up in judging others. On that same note, though, there are also too many times that we get caught up in beating ourselves up because we are not as good as others.

Judgment is difficult all the way around. I am not perfect. You are not perfect. We all struggle. We all mess-up. We all have bad days. That being said, it's unfair for us to judge someone else for their behavior when we do not know their story. Even if we know part of their story, we cannot fully comprehend how their story affected their heart, their feelings, their attitudes and their behavior.

It also does no good to compare ourselves against others. When we do this, essentially, we are judging ourselves. We are questioning why we are not good enough or strong enough.

We have to stop. Most times in life, we are ALL just doing the best we can with the strengths and limitations we were blessed with. Life will throw us curve balls that we cannot be ready for. Sometimes we can just go with it and hit the ball out of the park. But sometimes, it's just too much.

Be understanding. Not just of others, but of yourself. Don't beat yourself up because of your imperfections, rather capitalize on the amazing things that make you who you are. Don't wish for what others have ... take what you have and find blessings in the smallest joys.

If you've got caught up recently- in judging others or yourself- it's okay. Don't be afraid to start over. Don't think it's too late for a fresh outlook. Walk to a mirror near you and look in it. Find the things about yourself that make you 100% YOU! And love it. You won't be perfect. There will always be imperfections. Love yourself anyway. And try to love those around you, too (flaws and all)!

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

 

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COME ON, WOMAN ... Be Reasonable!

Fun Friday is supposed to be FUN! It's the one day during the school week that the kiddos get to watch TV. It's the day they can ride a bike or scooter to school. It's meant to celebrate the end of a great week.

Why, then, must I be SOOOOO unreasonable? Why not enjoy the moment, have a little fun and let the kids be kids?

It's not my seven-year-old's fault that he spilled ketchup on his new white spirit shirt the other night at the Back-to-School celebration. It's my fault that I didn't check to see if the spot came out before washing it.

It's not my kindergartner's fault that she gets caught up in enjoying things other than what she is supposed to be doing. She's five, for goodness sakes. She is one that truly appreciates the little things in life. I know this. It's my fault for not allowing her the extra time I KNOW she needs.

It's not my oldest daughter's fault that she wants to be early to school so she can complete her Daily Oral Language. It's my fault that I put her bun too high and her helmet wouldn't fit over the top. A reasonable mother would have helped her quickly, knowing she just wanted to be a good student!

Threatening to NEVER have Fun Friday again is certainly NOT reasonable, nor was my crabbiness or looks of disgust. 

Slow down. Breath. Be Reasonable. Let people be the people they are meant to be. If you know the people in your life (at all...), you can certainly be prepared for the things that are going to come up. And, when things come up that you least expect, don't take it out on them. It's not their fault.

My son was yet again the most reasonable one in our house this morning. Even after he lost his privilege to ride his scooter. Which, technically, he didn't lose ... it's just that his mother lost her marbles (AGAIN).

"Son, I'm very sorry that I got frustrated with you. I was really just frustrated with myself and your little sister. I didn't want us to be late for school and I shouldn't have taken it out on you."

Thank goodness for little boys, "It's okay, mom."

So, sometimes we screw up. Sometimes we forget to enjoy the moment (well, at least I do)! Sometimes, we use words like 'always' and 'never' knowing that we are speaking out of anger. Sometimes we don't fully appreciate the FUN that life can bring.

I certainly was not reasonable for about 20 minutes this morning. But, I sucked it up and apologized. I recognized my error. I admitted my failure. It's okay!

Here's to your Friday! I hope that it is fantastic and fun. I know my has been since I remembered that the purpose of being around for my kids is to actually enjoy them! Don't forget that we are all human. Be reasonable with the people you love ... and don't forget to tell them how wonderful they are!

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

 

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Tuesday Tip: Take It All In Stride

"Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% what you do with what happens to you."

"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade."

"Is your glass half empty or half full?"

These silly little quotes have been around so long, that you can't even figure out who to give credit for originally saying them. If it was you ... kudos!

There are moments, hours, days, weeks, months or even years of your life that will feel utterly overwhelming. The funny thing about this is that each one of us have a different threshold; and each of us deal with our stress in various ways.

It's okay that some days I'm sensitive about nothing in particular. It's okay that sometimes I'm more put together when major events happen rather than just the day to day nuances. People will beat themselves up over having a hard time with the life they are living ... saying, "I don't even have anything majorly wrong in my life."

We can't compare our lives. Just as we can't compare our limitations or our mistakes. In the same instance, though, we can't judge someone else because we 'feel' like they have it better than us. Each one of us will extend ourselves beyond what we can give at times. Each one of us will feel helpless, alone, confused, frustrated, etc. These emotions are what make us human.

When life gets tough, we must remember to take it all in stride. We must remember that it won't always be as hard as it is in that horrid moment or day or month or year. We must try to be grateful for the goodness in our lives. We must try to push on and make it to when we feel a little more at ease or in control.

This time of year is transnational for most people. Adults and children will deal with this transition in different ways. Remember to be kind to someone today. Remember to take a deep breath and stay calm in a stressful moment you or your child will have. Remember that this too shall pass. A new routine will be established soon (granted some other new transition will creep it's way into your life by then, but you will have at least one thing under control!).

I'll leave you with a funny story and an idea of how well I handle transitions ... we were to get letters from our school on Friday or Saturday about who their teachers would be. In the letter is the name of the teacher, as well as reminders about the supply list and any 'need to know' information. Friday was devastating enough when the letters didn't come ... but after the mail truck drove away Saturday and our box was empty ... there was very distraught children (and a somewhat distraught mother). I like to be prepared, as do my two school-aged girls. My son, bless his heart, is as go-with-the-flow as ever!

We all ended up inside- one in tears, one throwing a major tantrum and me on the verge of losing my marbles all together! My son walked over, rubbed my back and said, "Mom, really, it's going to be okay."

Take it all in stride. This too shall pass. When life throws you lemons, make lemonade. Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you deal with it!

Thank you, my boy, for reminding me that 'it's okay'!

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

 

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Tuesday Tip: Be Realistic

Set yourself up for success.

Choose your path wisely.

Be SMART about your goals.

Know your limitations.

My Tuesday Tip ... be realistic about handling challenges in your life. Be realistic about how you and your little people will respond to change. Don't assume that everyone can 'suck it up' and make it through without a tantrum here and there.

Major changes are on the horizon. These changes are not the same for everyone and each unique individual will respond differently to the changes looming. It's critical to be realistic about what you and what others can handle during this transition.

Yesterday I WAS NOT realistic and it bit me hard. I finally went for an angry run last night at 9:00 pm and evaluated each step I took further away from having a successful day.

1. My children were forced to spend a quiet hour at school while I did some volunteer work.
2. The bank hadn't had their air on for four days ... hot buildings make everyone crabby.
3. Taking four children to fill out paperwork in Human Resources is never a good idea ... even when you threaten their lives.
4. Lunch with dad is extra special EXCEPT when you've had to be quiet all morning.
5. Trying to mow the lawn while four children play nicely is impossible after a quiet morning and a whole summer of being stuck together.
6. Chatting with friends while the kids are supposed to sit quietly in the car isn't really fair to them. 

These six steps were just the biggies that stand out in my day. I realized as I was running, I did nothing for my kids yesterday. I didn't allow them any time to just 'be' with me. I was preoccupied the entire day with my stuff.

The highlight to my crabbiness ... after having to stop mowing without finishing to get dinner off the grill, I reminded the children they could come and eat after the basement was clean. I proceeded to eat my dinner. It was hot off the grill and there wasn't a soul bothering me. My husband hadn't gotten home yet and I pathetically sat at a table dressed for six, ALONE. Sadly I enjoyed it thoroughly.

I threw more than one adult temper tantrum yesterday. Success would NOT be a word I would use for my Monday. Or would it? I got everything done that needed to be done. I just unfortunately had a horrible attitude about it all. Think of how great yesterday would have been had I

... recognized my children for having moments of greatness in a day full of adult activities.

... said thank you to the little people in my life for putting up with me as I struggle through a transition.

... expressed how I was feeling rather than just ranting like a crazy person.

... sat down for five minutes with my kids and asked them what they wanted out of their Monday.

Oh well. It's Okay. Today is bright and new. Sometimes sucking it up can't happen until after the fact. I will remember to be realistic today. I will have a successful day with a smile on my face and laughter coming from my mouth. Thank goodness for angry runs to reevaluate long days!

Can't Replace Great Friends

There's something you can't replace about an 'old' friend. It's not that I am that 'old', it's just that I'm at a place in my life where it sure is nice to have people around that understand me. They don't just understand how I am as a thirty-something or a parent; they know me from my late teens and early twenties. They have seen me at my best and at my worst.

Life is anything but easy. It's comforting to be able to get 'real' with people who know that you aren't crazy for being in a funk or having a bad day. Heck, even having a bad month or year isn't going to make them think less of you. There is just something special about people who know you for who you are as a whole person from beginning to end. You can't replace old friends.

Conversations you can have with people who have been with you for the long haul aren't superficial or on the surface. They dig deep and cross the line of inappropriate. These conversations make you feel normal in a world that is anything but what you expect. They make you realize that your human errors aren't that awful and that we all screw up royally. They make you feel like you aren't alone in your struggles.

It's easy to try to compare hardships in your life to the hardships of others. You can't. It's impossible to completely rate your struggles with the struggles of every other human being. Understanding that we all have good days and bad days makes us human. The amazing thing about old friends is that we are reminded that it's okay to wish for more. It's okay to forget to be thankful. It's okay to bitch occasionally.

Friends that don't truly understand our past or why we are the way we are, may not be able to fully empathize with our bad months or our inappropriate conversations. That's okay. That's why we have those 'old' friends that we are 100% ourselves around. There is no judgment passed. There are no ill feelings. All that's there is care and concern for those people that have been around through thick and thin.

The wonderful thing about true friends is that you don't have to see them everyday or talk to them every week. Months and years can go by, yet when you are together, you don't miss a beat.

Life will continue to be hard. Tomorrow I will forget to be thankful for the amazing gifts around me. But, for tonight and in the moments I had with great friends, I am reminded how damn lucky I am. I was taken back to a time in my life when I didn't have to stress about finances or work or children or the big bad world that we are all apart of. Nostalgia is an amazing thing and I am going to bask in this moment for as long as I can until the real world hits again bright and early tomorrow morning.

Here's to your great friends. Don't forget to tell them how wonderful they are. Don't forget to tell them how special they make you feel. Don't forget that you can't replace the years of memories that were made throughout the journey of your friendship. Call an old friend this week. Catch up and be reminded of the youth that still lives deep inside!

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

 

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