Oh, sleep. Where are you some nights? How do I possibly function with so little sleep? Why does the world not know the fog I live in some days? What doctor recommended eight hours of sleep? Darn doctors ... what do they know anyway? They must not have had children of their own!
I suppose it's safe to say that we have all been there, living in a sleepless fog. Maybe it's because you procrastinated and had to stay up all night completing work. Maybe you work nights and have to care for someone during the day. Maybe you have relentless children who would rather do anything than sleep. Maybe you are stressed to the max and your body won't let you give in to the rest you need. Whatever the reason, we have had days where we are missing the very thing our bodies need most- sleep!
When we are lacking the rest we need, our bodies and brains are just not right. They do not act normally like they are suppose to. Emotions seem to flare when we are tired, aches come from everywhere when we are not rested and our thoughts are anything but clear when do not get enough sleep.
What's a person to do? Many people in the world are pushed to the max. There is not time to take a cat-nap, to go to bed earlier or to sleep in during the morning hours. Sometimes we do it to ourselves, but whatever the reason, life becomes SO much more difficult when we are tired.
The fifth chapter in my book is entitled, 'Delirious Decisions Due to Deprivation.' It highlights the crazy things that happen when parents are not rested. Everything from nearly dropping an infant to leaving your car running during an hour-long store visit. These stories are real and unfortunately, they are life. While it's easy to sit back later and laugh at our craziness, at the time it is anything but humorous.
There were mornings when my second child was an infant that I would just look at the clock and cry. Knowing that even if my body would allow me to fall back asleep after the 4:00 am feeding, that my husbands alarm clock would be going off in an hour and then my toddler would be ready to start her day by 6:00 am. This was, of course, after I had already been up for three previous feedings and knew that after all was said and done, I'd still have to be ready to leave for work by 7:20 am.
Now, I am past the late night and early morning feedings. But, I still get woken at least once a night by a child needing a pacifier, or a blanket, or allergy medicine, or a wet bed, or a bad dream, or, or, or! And I hear that as my children grow, it's only going to get more difficult. Instead of being woken up in the middle of the night, I will be awake until the middle of the night worrying about what my children are doing in their teenaged years.
Rest is a must, but sometimes it's just not that easy. Crazy things happen when we are tired. These things range from wearing two different colored shoes to not wearing a coat on a freezing day to forgetting that the groceries are in the back of the car. What crazy things have you done when you were tired? Are you willing to admit to them?
Here's to wishing you all a restful night's sleep tonight (and that your husband doesn't snore as loudly as mine does while I'm tending to our kiddos needs...ha)!
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Monday, April 8, 2013
I Do Impact Others!
This will be short and sweet ... it's really just a reminder to myself that I make an incredible impact on my family. Some days I don't see the joy in the family I am blessed with. But, for today, I did! We had an amazing morning. It went so well, that I started to question what was different about this particular morning. The only thing I could come up with is ME!
Today was no better than any other day. We got up late. I had four tired kids that didn't want to get out of bed. I had an eight-year-old who forgot to do her homework. I had a six-year-old who forgot to take his backpack to school. I had a four-year-old who took too long to get ready and had to eat after the school drop-off. I had a one-year-old with snot caked in her hair. Really ... it was normal. But, every minute of it was calm and enjoyable. It was this way because of me.
There are so many mornings that I create my own madness. Why? Heck, I don't know. All the issues that come up everyday are so very minor in the scheme of life. Why can't I remember that everyday? Why can't I stay calm and collected so that our days can be full of bliss rather than full of crabbiness (created by the crazy mother)?
Well, I will tell you why. I am not perfect. It's okay that we've had some rough mornings because of me. It's okay that I'm not always the calm and collected person that I was this morning. It's okay that I realized today how much my mood affects my family. I haven't ruined my children. They just know I am human. And, after today, I can strive to have more mornings like this one.
Great days are sometimes rare. It's okay. This great morning is one that make me better for the next few mornings. I will forget about my 'ah ha' today. I will have a crabby day soon. But, for now, I'm going to appreciate the fact that we had a great day, and I had something to do with that!
Today was no better than any other day. We got up late. I had four tired kids that didn't want to get out of bed. I had an eight-year-old who forgot to do her homework. I had a six-year-old who forgot to take his backpack to school. I had a four-year-old who took too long to get ready and had to eat after the school drop-off. I had a one-year-old with snot caked in her hair. Really ... it was normal. But, every minute of it was calm and enjoyable. It was this way because of me.
There are so many mornings that I create my own madness. Why? Heck, I don't know. All the issues that come up everyday are so very minor in the scheme of life. Why can't I remember that everyday? Why can't I stay calm and collected so that our days can be full of bliss rather than full of crabbiness (created by the crazy mother)?
Well, I will tell you why. I am not perfect. It's okay that we've had some rough mornings because of me. It's okay that I'm not always the calm and collected person that I was this morning. It's okay that I realized today how much my mood affects my family. I haven't ruined my children. They just know I am human. And, after today, I can strive to have more mornings like this one.
Great days are sometimes rare. It's okay. This great morning is one that make me better for the next few mornings. I will forget about my 'ah ha' today. I will have a crabby day soon. But, for now, I'm going to appreciate the fact that we had a great day, and I had something to do with that!
Sunday, April 7, 2013
My Life Is Nothing But Pee, Poop and Puke
One of the chapters in my book, It's Okay: Let's Get Real About This Thing We Call Parenting, is all about the disgusting, revolting, gut-wrenching fluids that make up parenting. I think it's ironic that we start and end our life in diapers ... what's the luck?
It's safe to say that before you become a parent, you have no idea what awful things you are going to encounter. The worst of all these things has to do with the three P's! Pee, poop and puke. Only as a parent, it's not your pee, your poop or your puke. The little person that used to be the most precious, sweet smelling thing you've ever laid your nose on is now producing fluids that look and smell like they come from a grown man.
I once got a picture sent to me on my phone of the most beautiful diamond ring ... covered in slimy, brownish-green poop! How does it happen? I mean, I know, shit happens, but WHY does it happen when you least expect it to and when you are least prepared?
Last week, I was lucky enough to have a day full of pee. I say lucky, because I know that it could have been much worse had it been poop or puke. It all started when I just needed to pick up copies from a local print shop (I won't mention the store name to save myself a little pride). Anyway, my little one napped right up until the moment I needed to pick up my preschooler. And from there, we zip straight to the elementary school to pick up my older two children. There was really no time for a diaper change and it didn't matter because, like I mentioned, this was a 'quick' trip.
Well, after dealing with my karate-chopping angry preschooler, I managed to start the van. You see, it was one of the first beautiful days of spring and our neighbor girl asked my oldest daughter to go to the park. I just needed to pick up some copies and then we were planning to meet up with them. I sent my oldest away, only to have my four-year-old freak out about not being able to go. I dealt with her fit the best way I could and convinced her that the copy shop would be a treat!
We made it to the store and I instructed the children to take a book in with them. It would only be a minute and there is a table right by the check out counter, so they could read their books while I got my papers. Easy enough, right? Well, that four-year-old was still pretty pissed off at me and was going to anything but sit and read (or anything except what I wanted her to do). She was pounding on a computer. The other two were reading, so I decided to ignore.
There was someone in front of me and then two other documents of mine still had to be printed. I had a $10 off coupon that I presented to the woman. All this is happening while the one-year-old tired of reading her book and decided to pound on the computer next to the computer her sister was pounding on. I decided I could apologize later for any damage they had done ... I just needed the damn copies. It was then that my bill totaled $27.30. In order to save the $10, I had to spend $30. So, in my quick haste, I said I was going to grab a printer cartridge. We had been out of colored ink for well over two months (which was why I was there in the first place), so I checked on the kids again and jetted to grab the cartridge.
When I returned, I noticed there was a puddle on the chair where my one-year-old had been sitting prior to pounding on the computer she was currently at. There was also something all over the floor below. Shit ... well, not shit, but definitely pee. The woman was still working on my bill, so I quickly ran over and tied my daughters coat around her waste (we didn't need to make any bigger of a scene that we already were). I then instructed my seven-year-old to find out where a bathroom was and get me some paper towels.
He returned just as I was finishing my payment. Phew. Made it. Cleaned up the pee and headed out the door. The computers looked to still be functioning, we only ran into two people as we were heading out the door, my daughter only broke one of the two sliding doors (she was still pissy and waited until we were out and the sliding door had closed before she rammed into it trying to get it to open more quickly ... the store clerk was very nice and assured me he could fix it) and to make myself feel better about it all ... my mantra became ... "pee is sterile, pee is sterile, pee is sterile."
Note to new parents- change your damn kids diaper when he/she wakes up from a nap. Note to parents with four children (myself included)- quit being so damn lazy and cheap and change your kids diaper after nap, even if he/she doesn't feel that wet!
Oh, and to top the pee off that day, my four-year-old came in around 2:00am. She had wet the bed. Actually, she had deposited about eight gallons of pee in her bed and her entire room reeked of urine. It wasn't even one of those that you can throw a towel over and clean up in the morning or one where you can salvage the blanket they sleep with every night. Oh now, the pillow, along with 80% of the bed, her comforter and blanket were completely soaked.
Another note to new parents- have your four-year-old go to the bathroom before bed. And a note to parents with multiple children- just because your daughter pees before bath time, don't be so damn annoyed with the bedtime routine that you skip the most important part of having her pee again.
Do you have a good poop, pee or puke story that cannot go untold? Tell it! Write it out and e-mail me at teresa.hamilton@itsokaybooks.com or go to my website and click on the 'share your story' tab. Your story will be sent directly to my e-mail. No names are used and my second book already has some great stories about the three P's! Don't miss your chance to get your amazing dirty story told!
It's safe to say that before you become a parent, you have no idea what awful things you are going to encounter. The worst of all these things has to do with the three P's! Pee, poop and puke. Only as a parent, it's not your pee, your poop or your puke. The little person that used to be the most precious, sweet smelling thing you've ever laid your nose on is now producing fluids that look and smell like they come from a grown man.
I once got a picture sent to me on my phone of the most beautiful diamond ring ... covered in slimy, brownish-green poop! How does it happen? I mean, I know, shit happens, but WHY does it happen when you least expect it to and when you are least prepared?
Last week, I was lucky enough to have a day full of pee. I say lucky, because I know that it could have been much worse had it been poop or puke. It all started when I just needed to pick up copies from a local print shop (I won't mention the store name to save myself a little pride). Anyway, my little one napped right up until the moment I needed to pick up my preschooler. And from there, we zip straight to the elementary school to pick up my older two children. There was really no time for a diaper change and it didn't matter because, like I mentioned, this was a 'quick' trip.
Well, after dealing with my karate-chopping angry preschooler, I managed to start the van. You see, it was one of the first beautiful days of spring and our neighbor girl asked my oldest daughter to go to the park. I just needed to pick up some copies and then we were planning to meet up with them. I sent my oldest away, only to have my four-year-old freak out about not being able to go. I dealt with her fit the best way I could and convinced her that the copy shop would be a treat!
We made it to the store and I instructed the children to take a book in with them. It would only be a minute and there is a table right by the check out counter, so they could read their books while I got my papers. Easy enough, right? Well, that four-year-old was still pretty pissed off at me and was going to anything but sit and read (or anything except what I wanted her to do). She was pounding on a computer. The other two were reading, so I decided to ignore.
There was someone in front of me and then two other documents of mine still had to be printed. I had a $10 off coupon that I presented to the woman. All this is happening while the one-year-old tired of reading her book and decided to pound on the computer next to the computer her sister was pounding on. I decided I could apologize later for any damage they had done ... I just needed the damn copies. It was then that my bill totaled $27.30. In order to save the $10, I had to spend $30. So, in my quick haste, I said I was going to grab a printer cartridge. We had been out of colored ink for well over two months (which was why I was there in the first place), so I checked on the kids again and jetted to grab the cartridge.
When I returned, I noticed there was a puddle on the chair where my one-year-old had been sitting prior to pounding on the computer she was currently at. There was also something all over the floor below. Shit ... well, not shit, but definitely pee. The woman was still working on my bill, so I quickly ran over and tied my daughters coat around her waste (we didn't need to make any bigger of a scene that we already were). I then instructed my seven-year-old to find out where a bathroom was and get me some paper towels.
He returned just as I was finishing my payment. Phew. Made it. Cleaned up the pee and headed out the door. The computers looked to still be functioning, we only ran into two people as we were heading out the door, my daughter only broke one of the two sliding doors (she was still pissy and waited until we were out and the sliding door had closed before she rammed into it trying to get it to open more quickly ... the store clerk was very nice and assured me he could fix it) and to make myself feel better about it all ... my mantra became ... "pee is sterile, pee is sterile, pee is sterile."
Note to new parents- change your damn kids diaper when he/she wakes up from a nap. Note to parents with four children (myself included)- quit being so damn lazy and cheap and change your kids diaper after nap, even if he/she doesn't feel that wet!
Oh, and to top the pee off that day, my four-year-old came in around 2:00am. She had wet the bed. Actually, she had deposited about eight gallons of pee in her bed and her entire room reeked of urine. It wasn't even one of those that you can throw a towel over and clean up in the morning or one where you can salvage the blanket they sleep with every night. Oh now, the pillow, along with 80% of the bed, her comforter and blanket were completely soaked.
Another note to new parents- have your four-year-old go to the bathroom before bed. And a note to parents with multiple children- just because your daughter pees before bath time, don't be so damn annoyed with the bedtime routine that you skip the most important part of having her pee again.
Do you have a good poop, pee or puke story that cannot go untold? Tell it! Write it out and e-mail me at teresa.hamilton@itsokaybooks.com or go to my website and click on the 'share your story' tab. Your story will be sent directly to my e-mail. No names are used and my second book already has some great stories about the three P's! Don't miss your chance to get your amazing dirty story told!
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Here's One For the Books ...
Well, yesterday I blogged about one of my chapters in my book, 'But, the books said...". I highlighted that you can't always trust the books and have to rather trust yourself and your knowledge of your own life. I suppose that I should have taken my own advice yesterday afternoon in order to avoid the catastrophe that occurred.
You know how you read that your children need at least one hour of exercise every day. There is all this research out there saying that you need to get your kids off the couch and moving. And then of course, there is the adult literature that stresses the importance of staying healthy and active. Well, I also happened to be reading up on my friend's Facebook post that highlighted a March challenge. The challenge was to run a mile everyday for a month. Now, I'm not oblivious to the fact that it is April, but I thought this challenge was one I could put on myself. And with Spring finally springing up in our area, I decided it would be good to include my four children in this monthly adventure. Again, I must stress, that I DID NOT use my best judgment.
So, after school, I let the kids know my plan to try to run a mile a day for a month. They could ride their bikes and enjoy our new weather. They were excited. I might also add that my four-year-old learned how to ride without her training wheels just two days ago. But, I figured I could put the eight-year-old, six-year-old and four-year-old on their bikes and I could push the one-year-old in the stroller. After depositing the 10,000 things that accumulate during the school day away and grabbing a quick cheese stick snack, we headed out the door.
It was then that the first issue arose ... our dog. Why in the hell would Santa bring a dog to my son this year? What was Santa thinking? Anyway, he was whining and barking and making quite a scene. So, my new plan was to have the three older children on bikes, the little on in the stroller and the dog on the leash. We were about to set off when the second issue came up ... the running stroller had flat tires. Could this possibly be a sign that I need to get off my fat butt? The stroller hadn't been used in well over a year (yikes) and, of course, the compressor was not put together so that I could air up the tires. I asked my six-year-old son how to put it back together and he told me to just hook the hose up to the thingy sticking out. Well, his bright idea was great, but it didn't work. So, I sulked over the neighbor to ask for help. His compressor was put away because they are moving (I'm sure you are thinking it's because of the annoying neighbor with four kids and a barking dog, but it's really not). Anyway, he came over to save the day. He hooked up the compressor, aired up the tires and we were ready yet again.
Off we went. I managed to help my newly-two-wheeled-rider get started and she made it about five feet. We got her up and moving again and she made it to the end of the block. The puppy was pulling my arm out of my shoulder socket, but I wasn't going to let him spoil my one-mile run. We got started again while crossing the first street. The bike trail was only a half block away and then it would be smooth sailing!
NOT! My four-year-old turned her wheel slightly, lost control and did a face plant. There were skid marks across her forehead and nose and her finger was missing a fourth of her nail. The dripping blood did not help her screams of horror, nor did the dog wrapping himself around her with the leash. I somehow managed to make it back to our house. I sent my son back up to get the bike that was left behind and I worked to get the head and finger put back together.
After a sucker, some ice and some band-aids, we had the house calm. So much for my mile run! It was then that their dad arrived home from work. It was also the moment that I saw the yellow sheet on my counter. The sheet that's for making bad choices at school. It was our first of the year. My son got in trouble for farting on another students head. The next 45 minutes were taken up by the discussion of what really occurred at school and me continuously eye-balling my husband so that he would keep his damn smirk to himself. Once the paper was taken care of and the discussion was complete, my husband busted a gut. Dear God, how many children am I raising? I suppose I should be thankful that he waited until my son left the room. Farting and giggling is a normal occurrence at our house and often the commotion is led by my husband. I guess my son is having a hard lesson in learning where you can get away with things and where you can't!
Anyway, after all that, it was dinner time and obviously I hadn't had time to put anything together. We had spent Lent without fast food or eating out, so we decided it would be a good night to go out. And, can you guess where the children wanted to go? Yes, that's right ... McDonald's. So much for my month of health. In order to salvage my day somehow, we decided to ride our bikes to McDonald's. It's about a mile away. At least I would get some exercise!
We looked like a darn three-ring-circus. But, the three older kids made it on their bikes without any issues and my husband and I enjoyed a minute or two of conversation while walking and pushing the stroller. Overall, it was a success. We even managed to talk the four-year-old out of pooping in someone's lawn half-way home. Apparently, the grease did a number on her tummy.
So, exercise is important. It's just kind of difficult sometimes to find productive ways to get it in when your family consists of four kids between the ages of two and eight! Maybe there's a book for that one:)
You know how you read that your children need at least one hour of exercise every day. There is all this research out there saying that you need to get your kids off the couch and moving. And then of course, there is the adult literature that stresses the importance of staying healthy and active. Well, I also happened to be reading up on my friend's Facebook post that highlighted a March challenge. The challenge was to run a mile everyday for a month. Now, I'm not oblivious to the fact that it is April, but I thought this challenge was one I could put on myself. And with Spring finally springing up in our area, I decided it would be good to include my four children in this monthly adventure. Again, I must stress, that I DID NOT use my best judgment.
So, after school, I let the kids know my plan to try to run a mile a day for a month. They could ride their bikes and enjoy our new weather. They were excited. I might also add that my four-year-old learned how to ride without her training wheels just two days ago. But, I figured I could put the eight-year-old, six-year-old and four-year-old on their bikes and I could push the one-year-old in the stroller. After depositing the 10,000 things that accumulate during the school day away and grabbing a quick cheese stick snack, we headed out the door.
It was then that the first issue arose ... our dog. Why in the hell would Santa bring a dog to my son this year? What was Santa thinking? Anyway, he was whining and barking and making quite a scene. So, my new plan was to have the three older children on bikes, the little on in the stroller and the dog on the leash. We were about to set off when the second issue came up ... the running stroller had flat tires. Could this possibly be a sign that I need to get off my fat butt? The stroller hadn't been used in well over a year (yikes) and, of course, the compressor was not put together so that I could air up the tires. I asked my six-year-old son how to put it back together and he told me to just hook the hose up to the thingy sticking out. Well, his bright idea was great, but it didn't work. So, I sulked over the neighbor to ask for help. His compressor was put away because they are moving (I'm sure you are thinking it's because of the annoying neighbor with four kids and a barking dog, but it's really not). Anyway, he came over to save the day. He hooked up the compressor, aired up the tires and we were ready yet again.
Off we went. I managed to help my newly-two-wheeled-rider get started and she made it about five feet. We got her up and moving again and she made it to the end of the block. The puppy was pulling my arm out of my shoulder socket, but I wasn't going to let him spoil my one-mile run. We got started again while crossing the first street. The bike trail was only a half block away and then it would be smooth sailing!
NOT! My four-year-old turned her wheel slightly, lost control and did a face plant. There were skid marks across her forehead and nose and her finger was missing a fourth of her nail. The dripping blood did not help her screams of horror, nor did the dog wrapping himself around her with the leash. I somehow managed to make it back to our house. I sent my son back up to get the bike that was left behind and I worked to get the head and finger put back together.
After a sucker, some ice and some band-aids, we had the house calm. So much for my mile run! It was then that their dad arrived home from work. It was also the moment that I saw the yellow sheet on my counter. The sheet that's for making bad choices at school. It was our first of the year. My son got in trouble for farting on another students head. The next 45 minutes were taken up by the discussion of what really occurred at school and me continuously eye-balling my husband so that he would keep his damn smirk to himself. Once the paper was taken care of and the discussion was complete, my husband busted a gut. Dear God, how many children am I raising? I suppose I should be thankful that he waited until my son left the room. Farting and giggling is a normal occurrence at our house and often the commotion is led by my husband. I guess my son is having a hard lesson in learning where you can get away with things and where you can't!
Anyway, after all that, it was dinner time and obviously I hadn't had time to put anything together. We had spent Lent without fast food or eating out, so we decided it would be a good night to go out. And, can you guess where the children wanted to go? Yes, that's right ... McDonald's. So much for my month of health. In order to salvage my day somehow, we decided to ride our bikes to McDonald's. It's about a mile away. At least I would get some exercise!
We looked like a darn three-ring-circus. But, the three older kids made it on their bikes without any issues and my husband and I enjoyed a minute or two of conversation while walking and pushing the stroller. Overall, it was a success. We even managed to talk the four-year-old out of pooping in someone's lawn half-way home. Apparently, the grease did a number on her tummy.
So, exercise is important. It's just kind of difficult sometimes to find productive ways to get it in when your family consists of four kids between the ages of two and eight! Maybe there's a book for that one:)
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
But, The Book Said ...
How do the books make it seem so easy? Why when we read something new do we assume that we should be able to do it exactly like the author suggests? The continual process of beating ourselves up comes when we read something that we feel we should be able to do just like the books suggest ... and then, BAM, we fail again. Something inevitably goes wrong and we are unable to make our life look just like it's supposed to. We are unable to 'fix' whatever problem has been plaguing us.
Life is not a quick fix. Parenting, FOR SURE, does not have a play book that gives you the minute-by-minute strategies for how to handle the issues that arise daily or hourly. Sometimes, we have to take a glorified minute as a success.
One of the chapters in my book addresses parenting books. What parent hasn't sought out a book or two or 100 to fix the limitations that exist in his/her family. I've done it more times than I can count. I will read and try to change our routine or add a strategy that is supposed to work like magic. But, in the end, I realize that there is no 'magic' way to fix our lives and make them perfect. Our lives will not be perfect. My children will not be perfect. The books can definitely help, and offer ideas for how to get a grip on certain angles in our life, but I cannot live by the books. I have to live within my world and my family dynamics.
I believe that resources are critical to make your life a success. I know that books and articles and how-to-guides exist to make me the best me I can be. But, I have to take the research and mesh it with what is already happening in my world. I have to decipher what strategies will work for me. It's okay to adapt and adjust what I read to make it fit my needs.
The books don't know you or your family, but they do have great ideas. It's important to realize that the only person who knows what is best for you and your kids- is you. You are the expert. You are the author of your own life book. You get to decide how to take the pieces of advice that are given to you and either make a chapter out of them or set them aside in a drawer to go through later.
Keep reading. Keep talking to others. Keep trying to be the best you can be. But, if you or someone you know isn't living life by the 'books,' just remember that life doesn't fit neatly into a cute little box. It's ugly and hard and never like you expect. It's okay to be different and to do things different, as long as it is what is best for you and your family!
Life is not a quick fix. Parenting, FOR SURE, does not have a play book that gives you the minute-by-minute strategies for how to handle the issues that arise daily or hourly. Sometimes, we have to take a glorified minute as a success.
One of the chapters in my book addresses parenting books. What parent hasn't sought out a book or two or 100 to fix the limitations that exist in his/her family. I've done it more times than I can count. I will read and try to change our routine or add a strategy that is supposed to work like magic. But, in the end, I realize that there is no 'magic' way to fix our lives and make them perfect. Our lives will not be perfect. My children will not be perfect. The books can definitely help, and offer ideas for how to get a grip on certain angles in our life, but I cannot live by the books. I have to live within my world and my family dynamics.
I believe that resources are critical to make your life a success. I know that books and articles and how-to-guides exist to make me the best me I can be. But, I have to take the research and mesh it with what is already happening in my world. I have to decipher what strategies will work for me. It's okay to adapt and adjust what I read to make it fit my needs.
The books don't know you or your family, but they do have great ideas. It's important to realize that the only person who knows what is best for you and your kids- is you. You are the expert. You are the author of your own life book. You get to decide how to take the pieces of advice that are given to you and either make a chapter out of them or set them aside in a drawer to go through later.
Keep reading. Keep talking to others. Keep trying to be the best you can be. But, if you or someone you know isn't living life by the 'books,' just remember that life doesn't fit neatly into a cute little box. It's ugly and hard and never like you expect. It's okay to be different and to do things different, as long as it is what is best for you and your family!
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
I'll Never
What have you said you'd never do that you are now doing? I'm sure if you are willing to admit to them, there would be several. I'm not just talking about parenting, but about life. We look around at others and if we are not wishing we had what they had, we are judging them and saying, "I'll never..."! It's crazy how easy it is to let those two nasty words roll off our tongues. We have all been guilty of it. And it's not as if we are saying those words kindly. Usually we are saying them with disgust. Rest assured, you are not alone in your words. We have ALL said, "I'll never" at one point in our lives. It's okay.
It's okay that we didn't know what curve balls life would throw at us. It's okay that we didn't realize how difficult some things really are. It's okay that we may have judged too quickly. It's okay. We live and we learn. Hindsight is always 20/20. We can all improve and do better. And the good Lord only knows that we realize we may have thought we were above the things that are now common place in our lives.
If we look into the parenting world for a second, we realize that truly believe we will be the perfect parent (that is ... until we actually become one). Parents get the brunt of the 'I'll Never' world. From the time we are wee little tikes, we start saying the things we will never do. You may have even told your parents a time or two the things that you would NEVER do so that you wouldn't turn out anything like them. Oh, how many of us would like to eat those words we said to our parents ... we just never knew what it would be like to be in their shoes.
The list of things we said we would never do is probably too long to count. It's okay. I'm learning as I go along to whisper my 'I'll never' statements to myself, rather than shout them from roof top like I used to. I do things now I told my parents I'd never do. I do things now that my husband and I swore we'd never do before we had kids. It happens. It's okay.
The first chapter in my book, It's Okay: Let's Get Real About This Thing We Call Parenting, is titled 'I'll Never'. It has ten real stories from people who admitted to doing the things they said they'd never do. It's honest and true. And, kudos to them for sharing. It's hard to admit to failing a little. But, really, in the end, it's okay to do the things we said we'd never do. Especially if it makes life a little easier to weather in that desperate moment!
My book is now available for purchase on Amazon and the CreateSpace eStore. You can be linked to either from my website, www.itsokaybooks.com!
It's okay that we didn't know what curve balls life would throw at us. It's okay that we didn't realize how difficult some things really are. It's okay that we may have judged too quickly. It's okay. We live and we learn. Hindsight is always 20/20. We can all improve and do better. And the good Lord only knows that we realize we may have thought we were above the things that are now common place in our lives.
If we look into the parenting world for a second, we realize that truly believe we will be the perfect parent (that is ... until we actually become one). Parents get the brunt of the 'I'll Never' world. From the time we are wee little tikes, we start saying the things we will never do. You may have even told your parents a time or two the things that you would NEVER do so that you wouldn't turn out anything like them. Oh, how many of us would like to eat those words we said to our parents ... we just never knew what it would be like to be in their shoes.
The list of things we said we would never do is probably too long to count. It's okay. I'm learning as I go along to whisper my 'I'll never' statements to myself, rather than shout them from roof top like I used to. I do things now I told my parents I'd never do. I do things now that my husband and I swore we'd never do before we had kids. It happens. It's okay.
The first chapter in my book, It's Okay: Let's Get Real About This Thing We Call Parenting, is titled 'I'll Never'. It has ten real stories from people who admitted to doing the things they said they'd never do. It's honest and true. And, kudos to them for sharing. It's hard to admit to failing a little. But, really, in the end, it's okay to do the things we said we'd never do. Especially if it makes life a little easier to weather in that desperate moment!
My book is now available for purchase on Amazon and the CreateSpace eStore. You can be linked to either from my website, www.itsokaybooks.com!
Monday, April 1, 2013
The Grass Will Continue To Always Be Greener On The Other Side
Points to Ponder #10- The grass will continue to always be greener on the other side
Isn't it funny how life works? You look around and you start to say, "If only..."! If only what? Your life is your life. You can't change the 'you' that God created. You can't completely erase every part of your history that put you where you are today. When are we going to just be happy with what we have and who we are? We live in a society that makes you think you need to do it better and have it all (and then post it all on Facebook).
We never really know what is going on in other people's world. We never really know if we had what they had if it would make our life any better than what it already is. We can continue the cycle of wishing we had what others had, or we can stop beating ourselves up and just appreciate what is ours. If we appreciate what is ours, we have to appreciate it ALL ... the good, the bad and the downright ugly.
I'm not saying we should give up improving our life. I'm not saying we should stop trying make our life the best it can be. What I am saying is that we need to stop wishing for what others have. We need to stop assuming that everyone else has it better than we do. At some point we just have to be content with the life that has been given to us.
The saying, "The grass is always greener on the other side," is only partly true. Because chances are, if you get into that lawn and really look around, it is going to have just as many flaws and issues as the very lawn you can call your own. Take time to water your lawn, weed your lawn and give your lawn the love it really needs. Your grass will perk up. Your weeds won't seem as overwhelming. And you might just be content to stay with the grass you have rather than trying to take over your neighbor's!
Love yourself- all of yourself. Even your issues exist for a reason. Take them in stride. Do the best you can. Be the best you can be. And STOP comparing your life to others. You were blessed with your life for a reason. Take time to figure out what that reason was and foster the heck out it! It will perk up:)
Isn't it funny how life works? You look around and you start to say, "If only..."! If only what? Your life is your life. You can't change the 'you' that God created. You can't completely erase every part of your history that put you where you are today. When are we going to just be happy with what we have and who we are? We live in a society that makes you think you need to do it better and have it all (and then post it all on Facebook).
We never really know what is going on in other people's world. We never really know if we had what they had if it would make our life any better than what it already is. We can continue the cycle of wishing we had what others had, or we can stop beating ourselves up and just appreciate what is ours. If we appreciate what is ours, we have to appreciate it ALL ... the good, the bad and the downright ugly.
I'm not saying we should give up improving our life. I'm not saying we should stop trying make our life the best it can be. What I am saying is that we need to stop wishing for what others have. We need to stop assuming that everyone else has it better than we do. At some point we just have to be content with the life that has been given to us.
The saying, "The grass is always greener on the other side," is only partly true. Because chances are, if you get into that lawn and really look around, it is going to have just as many flaws and issues as the very lawn you can call your own. Take time to water your lawn, weed your lawn and give your lawn the love it really needs. Your grass will perk up. Your weeds won't seem as overwhelming. And you might just be content to stay with the grass you have rather than trying to take over your neighbor's!
Love yourself- all of yourself. Even your issues exist for a reason. Take them in stride. Do the best you can. Be the best you can be. And STOP comparing your life to others. You were blessed with your life for a reason. Take time to figure out what that reason was and foster the heck out it! It will perk up:)
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