How do the books make it seem so easy? Why when we read something new do we assume that we should be able to do it exactly like the author suggests? The continual process of beating ourselves up comes when we read something that we feel we should be able to do just like the books suggest ... and then, BAM, we fail again. Something inevitably goes wrong and we are unable to make our life look just like it's supposed to. We are unable to 'fix' whatever problem has been plaguing us.
Life is not a quick fix. Parenting, FOR SURE, does not have a play book that gives you the minute-by-minute strategies for how to handle the issues that arise daily or hourly. Sometimes, we have to take a glorified minute as a success.
One of the chapters in my book addresses parenting books. What parent hasn't sought out a book or two or 100 to fix the limitations that exist in his/her family. I've done it more times than I can count. I will read and try to change our routine or add a strategy that is supposed to work like magic. But, in the end, I realize that there is no 'magic' way to fix our lives and make them perfect. Our lives will not be perfect. My children will not be perfect. The books can definitely help, and offer ideas for how to get a grip on certain angles in our life, but I cannot live by the books. I have to live within my world and my family dynamics.
I believe that resources are critical to make your life a success. I know that books and articles and how-to-guides exist to make me the best me I can be. But, I have to take the research and mesh it with what is already happening in my world. I have to decipher what strategies will work for me. It's okay to adapt and adjust what I read to make it fit my needs.
The books don't know you or your family, but they do have great ideas. It's important to realize that the only person who knows what is best for you and your kids- is you. You are the expert. You are the author of your own life book. You get to decide how to take the pieces of advice that are given to you and either make a chapter out of them or set them aside in a drawer to go through later.
Keep reading. Keep talking to others. Keep trying to be the best you can be. But, if you or someone you know isn't living life by the 'books,' just remember that life doesn't fit neatly into a cute little box. It's ugly and hard and never like you expect. It's okay to be different and to do things different, as long as it is what is best for you and your family!
No comments:
Post a Comment