Oh, marriage. Isn't it amazing, glorious and downright perfect? Ha, ha ... ha, ha, ha! Marriage is hard. Marriage is frustrating. Marriage is a LOT of work. If we are going to get 'real' about marriage, it is safe to say that some days we are not going to like our spouse. Is that okay? Absolutely. You can't possibly think that being with someone day in and day out, year after year can be all roses. It's okay that some days your spouse will drive you mad. It's okay that some days you will wish for time away. It's okay. In the end, you still love your spouse more than life itself. The world needs to realize that marriage isn't supposed to be perfect. If we embrace that fact, we might enjoy the disasters that plague our married life occasionally!
So, knowing that marriage is hard and not perfect is one thing. It's a whole other ball game to introduce children into the mix. Being married with children creates sleep deprived, sex deprived, crabby, angry individuals who are supposed to love each other until death do them part. Children complicate an already difficult challenge and how on earth are married folks supposed to be happy in love when some days are downright miserable.
One of the chapters in my book, It's Okay: Let's Get Real About This Thing We Call Parenting, addresses the challenge of being married and having kids. It mocks the idea that becoming pregnant or trying to adopt and then raising those very beings is an easy task. The stories in the book highlight how pregnancy changes a woman (not just her body, but also her emotions) and what that does the to relationship between the couple.
My favorite story that I shared in the book is about the night that I came home to my husband eating the crumbs out of a Dorito bag. No biggie, right? WRONG. I had been thinking about those last few chips all day and the jerk had every last crumb sliding down his rotten throat. Saying I broke down is an understatement. Sobs and giant, hot tears came out of the over-sized version of myself. It was ridiculous- but it was what my husband had to deal with when I was pregnant!
Yesterday I blogged about being deprived of sleep. I mentioned that sometimes we do it to ourselves. Well, last night, my husband and I were up until 1:00am. We talked for hours about life and work and the future. Can I tell you how long it has been since we just talked like adults without little people interrupting our every thought or without our phones glued to our faces? It was amazing. We love our crazy house of six, but some days, we miss just being able to be married. We miss being able to go out on date nights without stressing about a sitter. We miss being able to sleep in until noon together. We miss being able to take a trip on a whim because we feel like it. We miss all those things, but wouldn't trade our children for the world.
So, today I am tired. Well, I am exhausted. But, hanging out with my husband and pretending for a few hours that life is all good, was well worth my sagging eyes and the four cups of coffee I have had to wake myself up! For one night there was no whining, no fighting on our end, no stress about what the next day would bring! I'm lucky to stuck with my husband until death do us part (even though some days I'm not going to like him)!
My next book will be entitled, It's Okay: Let's Get Real About This Thing We Call Marriage. I can't wait for people to contribute the ridiculous that happen in a marriage (the annoyances, the fights, the parenting style differences, etc.). Society today has made divorce an easy out. This book will let people know that it's okay, even normal, to struggle through a marriage. It will help people see that if you stick with it, work at it, and love the heck out of your spouse, it will all be okay. If you have a good story, e-mail me at teresahamilton@itsokaybooks.com. Don't miss your chance to share your story and help others. No names are used in the stories and you can earn yourself a free book when it is released!
You know I will come sit with the kiddos ANY time, I love them!!!! Nothing is easy in life, you are so right. Finding that time and actually taking advantage of it instead of paying bills, watching TV, uninterrupted, or just plain resting is another chore. We tend to get the "business" stuff done when we do have the time. Kids help us hold it all together, the love for our families and the importance of them, all for one, right?!
ReplyDeleteBeth
Oh, I know you would come sit with our kiddos! Logistics are more of a nightmare sometimes than getting out! And, yes, the kids do help us hold it all together. They also make things a little more fun!
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