Be Thankful For Those That Drive You The Most Crazy

At the end of my book is a section entitled, 'Final Thoughts.'  This section is meant to wrap up my book and leave the reader with ten things I hope the book encourages them to think about.  The very last one is 'Be thankful for those that drive you the most crazy.' I put this one in because I feel that it is the one I struggle with the most.  And, yes, I am referring to one of my children.

That very child is turning five this weekend.  Let me tell you a little about her ... this child has more zest and spirit than any other child I know.  She is beautiful inside and out.  From a very young age she exuded an independence and wealth of knowledge far beyond her years.  She seemed to understand death, heaven and angels from the age of three.  She is fiery and fun and creative and energetic and has no fear of life.  She takes life by the horns and WILL not lose!  She loves games and creative play and puzzles and reading and learning and, and, and!  She is amazing.

Why, then, you might ask would I be writing about her in conjunction with being thankful for those that drive us most crazy.  Well, that same spirit she has about life often conflicts with the norm.  It goes against compliance and calmness and just being.  She beats to her own drum and that drum is often NOT the one that I am playing. 

I have been at home with my spirited child for the first time this year.  We have had many challenging mornings.  We have had too many battles to count.  We have struggled.  BUT, we have also achieved joy and magic and wonderful times.  I would not trade this year with her for the world.  I love her more than I can stand even though some days I can't stand her.  How awkward and awful does that sound?  Well, it's honest and it's 'real.'  Isn't that what my book, It's Okay: Let's Get Real About This Thing We Call Parenting, is all about?  Admitting to not having it all figured out.

This morning I walked in to my daughter's room to find her shades completely pulled up to the top.  "It's a SUNNY day!"  We have had cloud filled days for four out of this five-day week.  And can you guess who is the type of kid to praise the sun?  That's right.  She notices the little things and finds joy around every corner.  I was irritated the other day when we were about to cross the street to my children's school.  She was not at my side like I had instructed.  She was picking dandelions ... the first sign of spring.  She was elated!  And I was irritated.  Why?  So what if she doesn't follow my every command ... she's not that type of kid.  But, she does appreciate simple beauty! 

Her smile can be felt for miles.  Her joy and love for people is so obvious.  She doesn't hide behind my leg when I ask her to tell someone thank you- she runs up and knocks them over with a true thank you hug!  Last night in the library, some man on crutches lost his receipt.  I told her to go and let him know that he dropped it.  She did it without losing a beat. 

I don't want to squash her spirit.  I don't want her to change.  I need to change my views of the prim and proper way to do things.  Life isn't clear cut.  It's messy.  She's willing to embrace that mess and love every minute of it.  I sure could learn a lot from her!

This morning her very best friend and love of her life got to come over for a play date.  There were no older siblings to ruin her time.  There was no one interfering with the games she wanted to enjoy.  I got to have a marvelous morning catching up with a friend, while she had the most amazing play date of the year.  When her friend wrote her a text last night to ask if she wanted him to bring donuts, she quickly responded, "Yes, I want a chocolate one and I LOVE YOU!"  I wanted to write something other than what she said (after all, it's kind of rude to demand a certain doughnut and not say please or thank you), but that's her.  She meant it in the most loving way! 

Today I am beyond thankful for the child of mine that drives me most crazy!  I am so excited to have her celebrate her fifth birthday.  I know our relationship will continue to have it's ups and downs.  But, if I could take my own advice and just love her for who she is, our days will have more ups than I could imagine!