#marriagemonday: Marriage Manifesto

Married Life Quotes

Top Ten ways I vow to keep my marriage happy, healthy and going strong!

10. I will talk to you everyday.
Even when I don't want to talk, I will find a way to share words with you. During the day, I will continue to look forward to hearing your voice, reading your texts or just thinking about how nice it would be to talk with you.

9. I will call you names (when needed).
I promise to continue to call you names- not because you really are the names I call you, but because every once in a while I just need to 'lose it'. The nice thing about this is that we can continue to laugh at ME and MY ridiculousness when this happens. Mostly, I will always love the way you forgive me, talk with me, hold me and make me feel better.

8. I will laugh at your jokes (when you're not looking).
Though I tell everyone that you used to be funny, but aren't any more- deep down I will always crack up at your jokes. With the children around, I will have to continue to be the grown-up, but LOVE that you can be the joker and make life the fun it should be. I won't be able to say these things to you-out loud- for many years, but you can know that the reason I married you is still the reason I love you so very much. Your humor keeps me young and makes living more enjoyable.

7. I will remember why I fell in love with you.
Speaking of why I married you . . . there are so many reasons that I never truly articulate. Your humor is just the beginning. You listen. You're trustworthy. Your work ethic is top notch. You clean and are willing to help out when others need you. You're a loyal friend. You're engaged in your relationships (with friends, me and especially our children). You're smart and know how to read a map (this is helpful in far too many ways to mention- thank goodness you know about the facts our kids spout off and can help me find my 'lost' way). You have always, and continue to, treat me like a princess (even on days I'm acting like the wicked witch). I'm so glad I fell in love with you and will work our whole life remembering why!

6. I will never have a bester friend than you.
I have amazing girlfriends. I love to be around people- going out, at work, playing volleyball, running . . . I just enjoy having solid friendships. BUT, I have never had a better friend than YOU! You truly know all my darkness and love me anyway. You listen to me when no one else is around. You comfort me when I'm hormonal or desperate. You remind me of my strengths and how I can always make it through. I have fun with you! You are the bestest friend I could ever have.

5. I will tell you everything (but be kind in my delivery).
When we are frantically cleaning before a party- and you decide to hang curtains . . . I will tell you that there are other things needing to be done. When we are both packing on the pounds and avoiding our much needed exercise and healthier approach to eating . . . I will tell you. When there's a hot guy on TV or Adam is making a debut on the VOICE without his shirt on . . . I will tell you (but, you know it doesn't mean I love you any less). When you need to complain about something going wrong in life- I will listen . . . and then, if you want to hear it, I will tell you if there's another side to the story. I will continue to be me (sorry!) and tell you everything!

4. I will be irritated at your approach, but appreciate the outcome.
You amaze me at how you can get things done when you set your mind to it! It drives me mad at the times you decide to 'getter done', but I will ALWAYS love when it's done. I will always appreciate how clean our windows and stove are before people come to our house- you tend to focus on those! And even though I often have to ask for help with folding clothes, I will always appreciate that you join me. You told me long ago that I could either tell you what to do or how to do it, but not tell you both. I'm still working on this!

3. I will tell you when you hurt my feelings (beating a dead horse over and over and over).
I know I over-do things. I can't stop. It's who I am. I will continue to over-communicate, over-share and beat a dead horse deader. I appreciate that most of the time you put up with this. I understand when you lose your cool- it's because I can bring out the very worst in you. I often know when I'm doing it. I want to stop, but I just can't. Most often, you know . . . it's not even that you hurt my feelings, but that my feelings are hurt (and there is a difference). I'm a strong and independent woman, but sensitive and vulnerable at heart. You know this about me and care for me in just the right way. I'm sorry that I've beat so many horses along the way- I'm sure there are many more to come (at least you won't be surprised when they're lined up on the side of the road).

2. I will always miss you when I'm away from you (but appreciate that being away helps me remember why I miss you).
I'm more 'me' when you are around. I miss you when you're gone. I miss you when I'm out without you. I miss you when I'm alone with all the kids. That's a good thing! But, I will continue to live my life- seeing friends, sneaking away for coffee with girls or a weekend get-a-way. I will do these things because they make me feel complete. This is not how you complete me, but it's critical for who I am. Just know, even though I'm living . . . I'm still missing you.

1. I will tell you I love you a million times over and that will never be enough.
Even when we are angry, we end our phone conversations and evenings with, "I love you." There have been times when I feared the words had lost their meaning because we say them out of habit. I've realized, it's quite the opposite. The habit shows the comfort and deep need to remind one another that we are in love- still- after all these years. I will continue to say, "I love you!" and mean it every time I say it. Happy, sad, angry or scared; these words will never lose their meaning and will forever let you know that our love will survive all the bumps in this road we call life.

Happy #marriagemonday! Take time this week to notice what pieces and parts make your marriage whole and complete.

We must continue to fight to keep our marriages happy, healthy and strong. In communicating the good, the bad and the ugly, we can ensure that our partners stay our 'better halves'!

Good luck fighting the fight. Stay strong. Stay in love. Share your heart.

#marriagemonday Boy am I lucky to be married to the bestest friend anyone could ask for! #howaboutyou? Take time this week to #shareyourlove

 

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'.  
 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

 

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#fridayfolly: It Will ALL Get Done! Relax :)

Paper Hearts and Tin Foil Tiara's

 

 

 



It will all get done!

It's okay.

Relax.

Balls are all sorts of flying right now. Apparently they are all going in different directions and are all different shapes, sizes and colors.

A year's worth of school projects from three kids are piled on our counter. The laundry is over-flowing. The bathrooms are disgusting.

AND . . . I'm tired.

These things are not what make living meaningful. It's okay that they are not done.

Planning. Scheduling. Preparing.

Summer is almost here. A birthday party is just days away. Work is wrapping up. Parties, practices, camps, field trips, day trips, new work opportunities! All these things are wonderful!

Why then, am I finding it so difficult to enjoy it all?

Well, I'm normal. That's why!

Let's take a moment to focus on the big picture- our family is happy and healthy. The fact that we have scheduled events is exciting. New opportunities are upon us.

If you're at all like me, we must let go of the nuances of life and focus on living. Our attitudes can make or break the memories that are about to be made. It's 100% up to US.

It's difficult to stop a 'crab attack' when we have balls flying everywhere; hitting us straight in the face at times. But, we must! We must stop, take a deep breath, relax and just enjoy the moments.

It's okay.

It's okay to let 'things' sit in order to participate in life. It's okay to feel a little overwhelmed; taking things on just one at a time. It's okay to apologize for forgetting that relationships are what matter most.

Today is a new day. A long weekend is in our near future. Let's make a pact with one another . . .

1. Check in on our emotions and take a break if needed.
2. If we can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.
3. Conquer each ball one at a time- offering the needed care to each.
4. Remember that it will all get done!
5. Love, love, love the people around us- just the way they are (click here for an awesome read on this!)

Have an amazing weekend. Breathe deep. Laugh big. Love strong.

Balls are everywhere- flying in every direction #takeamoment #justbreathe 

It will all get done in due time. Don't forget to #enjoythemoment

 

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'.  
 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

 

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#tuesdaytip: Cut Yourself Some Slack!

Judgment!

 

Oh, the judgment.

 

While this picture and saying cracks me up beyond belief, it has a very powerful message.

 

Quit the judgment.

 

You might think I am telling you to quit judging others . . . I suppose if you're feeling guilty, you should.

 

But what I am really talking about is my hang-up on thinking others are judging me. It never really matters if I'm REALLY being judged or not, that's just my perception.

 

Let me explain.

 

Sitting in church (minus my hubby) with my four twiddles on Sunday went from bad to worse to down-right UGLY! And, sadly, I was only struggling with one child!

 

As I struggled through an un-God like assault from one of my children, all I could think about was what other's must be thinking of me and my parenting.

 

I need to quit the 'judgment' thing.

 

Of course, it might put it into perspective for you that we were sitting in the second row. There were lots of bodies behind me witnessing my hour of hell.

 

Whether or not anyone noticed what was happening or thought a thing of it shouldn't matter. No one sitting behind me knows that my assaulter had to purchase her own frozen yogurt instead of earning it like my other three children. None of them know about the hour my little one spent doing room time and chores to make up for the hour of energy that was drained from this warn-out mom!

 

I shouldn't have to explain myself or justify my actions. I'm human. I'm doing the best darn job I can. What more can anyone ask?

 

My second moment of defeat came when I was a little too proud of my calm self and how I handled my morning. I was actually enjoying the day and ecstatic that I didn't let the morning events sour the entire day.

 

You know how you shouldn't start feeling too good- or the bottom is sure to fall out? Well, it did. I had forgotten about an important obligation for my oldest child. COMPLETELY forgot . . . that is, until the obligation was over and there was no way to make up for my 'miss'.

 

Needless to say, I felt about as big as a pea. There was self-doubt, negative self talk and, of course, lots of hot tears. I think my 'bad mom' feeling came for lots of reasons besides missing an event. That must have been my signal that life is just a little overwhelming right now.

 

I woke up Monday morning revived, refreshed and renewed. It's crazy what a loving husband, a good night's sleep and some glorious caffeine can do for a day. I was back to me- knowing that I need to cut myself a little slack!

 

What's overwhelming you these days? Does it seem so minor that it might not really be the source of your stress? Don't beat yourself up if you don't have it 100% together.

 

Take time today to give yourself a break. Put yourself around people who lift you up. Talk nice to yourself. Remember, 'it's okay' to have a bad moment, hour or even day. Heck, sometimes it's okay to have a bad week or month. It happens.

 

My husband's question to me on Sunday afternoon offers good advice to us all. "Was the WHOLE day bad?" He reminded me of the zillions of things I did right, not the two things that went wrong.

 

Usually it's just a thing or two that is consuming our thoughts and emotions. Narrow down your self-destruction. Be specific about what's causing you most angst. Offer yourself the opportunity to find the good hidden within the struggles.

 

Self-Judgment #juststop 

Stop worrying about what others are thinking #focusonwhatisgoingright 

Quit beating yourself up #cutyourselfsomeslack

 

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'.  
 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

 

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#marriagemonday: How Are You REALLY Doing?

"How was your day, honey?"

My words are quick. My eye contact minimal. I'm darting and dashing; grabbing and moving.

His answer is completely, 100%, un-sincere! Is that even a word? Let's just say his response of, "AWESOME!" was a little fake.

The 'AWESOME' answer had been coming out day after day . . . for a few weeks. It was his signal that there was no need to talk about the day.

While this little play of ours was reenacted many, many times, I finally decided it was enough.

"How are you REALLY doing? REALLY? How was your day?"

We talked for nearly two hours. It was wonderful. There were no phones. The TV was silenced in the distance. We talked and talked and talked.

Now I'm a realist and know that we can't enjoy an uninterrupted two-hour conversation every night. Heck, we would run out of things to talk about after the first night. Even though we can't have two hours, we still must connect daily.

What does your connection look like? How do you and your spouse know when love is being shared? What special traditions has your love made?

When I was searching around for a fitting quote to #marriagemonday, I came across Maggie Reyes. She is the author of Happy Wives Club and the founder of ModernMarriage.com. I think I found my next great read!

One of her blog posts highlights 12 Ways To Make Your Love Last. Her #1, listed below, was quite fitting for my blog today.

1. Check in EVERYDAY. Asking “how was your day?” is the key to being part of your honey’s life. Don’t take that question for granted. Don’t grunt and say okay and move on to “what’s for dinner.” You married the love of your life so you could be with them every day right? Remember that.

I'd encourage you to check out all 12! She ended her blog post asking her readers if they had written their own marriage manifesto. I have a new challenge . . . look for mine next week.

As you start this week, be intentional about connecting with your spouse. When you ask a question, take time to REALLY listen to the answer. If he/she isn't REALLY answering, take time to find out why!

Good luck in your marriage quest. It's not an easy road, but the destination is well worth all the bumps, curves, twists and turns.

"A good husband wipes her tears, but a great husband listens to the story of why she's crying."

-Author Unknown

 

 



Check in w/ your spouse today #waitforananswer

Listen intently to your better half #findouthowheisREALLYdoing

Spend time talking #connect

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'.  
 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

 

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#fridayfolly: Sometimes Nothing is Really Something!

'I Got Nothing!'

That was what I was going to title my blog last night. I sat for almost an hour fiddling, typing, deleting, fiddling some more, typing some more . . . until finally I closed my computer and called it quits.

I was feeling as if there was nothing meaningful for me to write about; nothing note worthy. Yet, today as I scrambled through my Friday I realized- I'm not struggling with NOTHING, I'm struggling with too many SOMETHINGS!

Change has always been and will continue to be a source of stress for me. The unknown drives me absolutely crazy. I like to have my 'you-know-what' together. I enjoy being prepared. I very much dislike surprises!

I know- I'm the fun-hater. My kids think so, too! Sadly my #3 was so proud that I actually cracked a smile when she let out a juicy fart in the middle of the Target Café earlier this evening. I think I might have won mom of the moment! Yay, me.

So, back to change. Summer is quickly approaching. Work is rapidly ending. Exercising ceased to a minimum this week. Quick, easy and bad food over-took our diets.

BLAH. I just feel a little blah. And I didn't want to bore any of you with my blah-ness . . . and certainly, I didn't want it to spread.

But, it could be that you might be feeling the same way too. Maybe a change is taking over your world. A move. A new job. An illness. A change in finances. A struggling relationship. A death.

Change comes in so many different forms, that we lose count. Yet with each change, we somehow have to figure out how to keep moving.

Don't Be Afraid To Drop, by Julia Cook is a book I am reading to my students as the end of the school year approaches. It's all about a dad sending his young raindrop down to the earth for the first time to share his gift. His son doesn't realize how quickly he will be carried right back up to the safety of his cloud. When he finally drops, pride beams inside him. He helps a dry flower get wet. He shared his gift. He took on a change with strength, courage and determination!

Whatever you happen to be struggling with today- dig deep to find your own strengths. You have the ability to muster through, but you must believe that you are able. You have the knowledge to turn your nothing into something, but you must be willing to put forth the effort.

Life is one big cluster of balls. How many can you keep up at the same time? Which will you choose to let fall? Make sure you're focusing on number one and not taking on more than you can handle.

When you get scared or overwhelmed, reevaluate! Check-in on your gifts. Focus on sharing the good with others and that goodness will hit you right back. It will come to you when you least expect it and help you hold up a few of those balls!

Turn your 'blah' into beautiful!

Make your 'nothing' into something.

Take control of the changes in your life!

#believeinyou #shareyourgifts

 

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'.  
 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

 

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#tuesdaytip: Laugh At YOURSELF :)

My Friday night was a comedy of errors . . .

I headed to the store at 7:45 pm. I was dreading my store visit after a long week of work. The very LAST thing I wanted to do was go to the store, but knowing a very busy weekend was about to start- I had no choice.

About three minutes into my store visit, I realized the store was closing at 8:00 pm. What store closes at 8:00 pm on Friday night?

I guess the store I was at does!

I looked like a crazy person- pretty much running through the store. I was checking my list, running, grabbing, running some more, going back and forth for things I missed.

I actually made it out of the store only missing one of my needed items. I was pretty tickled.

I stopped to get gas on the way home. I parked, paid and tried to start pumping.

Oops . . . the nozzle wouldn't reach. Of course, there was a handsome young pup viewing this whole shenanigan.

I got back in the car and inched as close to the car in front of me as I could.

Replay the first part. Park. Pay and try to pump again.

Oh, and don't forget the moment I tripped over the gas line because it was pulled so tight.

I finished up just in time for the woman parked in front of me to return to her car from being inside the gas station. She was about to pull away and I just couldn't let her leave thinking that I usually park bumper to bumper to get gas.

I tapped on her window and told her my ridiculous story about having to pull forward in order to pump my gas.

She started getting out of her car and laughed out loud. "I'm so glad you tapped on my window. I was about to drive off without pumping the gas I paid for."

We shared a moment and some good laughs. I got in the car and drove off feeling pretty great about saving her from losing her 'paid for' gas!

About five minutes into my drive home, a random man pulled beside me and mouthed something. I know you probably think he was trying to pick me up . . . HA!

I had left my gas lid open and my gas cap OFF! Yep. I was feeling so great about my moment with the 'gas mom' that I forgot to take care of my own car. Who knows how many people witnessed my forgetful moment.

I pulled over, fixed my business and headed home- laughing the whole way. The last hour had been a ridiculous turn of events.

We must be able to laugh at ourselves. We have to be able to admit our errors knowing that we are human and anything from perfect. It's essential that we are 'okay' with who we are, mishaps and all.

My #tuesdaytip is to lighten up. Laugh. Love your screwed up self. Life is anything but predictable and we must be able to go with the flow. And when things are just too overwhelming; when it's a laugh or cry moment- choose laughter!

Enjoy your week- rain or shine. Instead of being irritated by life's nuances, find a way to chuckle. It won't always work; we won't always be able to laugh. It's okay. Just do it as often as you can!

 Don't be afraid to laugh at yourself #itsoftensthetears 

Help others see comfort in a chuckle!

 #besupportive #shareyourownstory #lightenup

 

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'.  
 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

 

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Mother's Day Reflection

Dirt. Grime. Whines. Squabbles. Spills. Tantrums.

All these things can be fixed. All these things will someday be gone. Already time has somehow disappeared and I'm realizing how much I will miss these days.

It's so difficult to explain how irritated a person can be in one second and then overcome with love and joy the next. I suppose one word sums it up . . . motherhood!

As I reflect on Mother's Day, I'm forced to think not only about myself as a mom, my own dear mom, but also all those out there who do not have their moms. I realize today more than most, how lucky I am.

Day to day I take so much for granted. I get confused, irritated, overwhelmed, sad, tired - the list is endless. Yet, I know how fortunate I am.

Reflections from Mother's Day 2014!

I'm grateful for my strong, determined, caring and loving mother. I need to tell her more often how much I appreciate that she is still around to influence not only me, but my children.

I'm blessed beyond belief to have four healthy and happy little people I call my children. Amongst the crazy schedule, multiple personalities and bad days, I sometimes forget they are human (and just kids). I wouldn't be who I am without them and need to tell them that more often.

I'm reminded that I married the right man. He doesn't let a day go by without telling me I'm great! Do I always do the same for him? I couldn't be the mom I am and I certainly wouldn't be as wonderful as he thinks I am if he wasn't by my side.

I recognize that I shouldn't wait for special days during the year to show my appreciation and love for my family and friends. Everyday is precious and if I show my love more often now, there won't be any regrets later.

 

I understand the need to be careful what I complain about. After all, there could be someone out there wishing they could have what I find to be a frustration at the time.

 

I'm beyond luck to have the coolest 'mom' friends. Ones who I can be real with and who still love me. Friends who I learn from and who have helped shape me into the person and mom I am today.

 

More than anything, I've realized how much support and love I am surrounding by. I catch myself telling others I would give anything for some uninterrupted time 'alone'! Yet, when I'm alone, I find myself constantly thinking about the very little people I said I wanted to be away from.

 

Take time this week to show your love. Don't waste another day not saying how much you appreciate those special people in your life. We don't need to wait for special occasions to show off our gratefulness! May EVERY DAY count.

 

 

 

Why do we wait for special days to show our love #taketimeeveryday #shareappreciation 

Friends & family won't always be around #havenoregrets

 

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

 

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#fridayfolly: Arghhhhhhhhh!



How do you describe what people are going through this time of year?

Busy. Crazy. Overwhelmed. Sad. Anxious. Excited. Tired.

Spring brings a sense of new beginnings and new life. People are outside walking, playing and caring for their property.

The sun rises earlier and goes to bed later. Days get longer. Smells of fresh life and grilling fill the air.

Why if this is such a joyful time, is there such angst and alarm?

This time of year is busy with holidays, parties, school activities and outdoor opportunities. YET, we still have to live.

Life continues to move at the same pace, but we add in so many extras. Not to mention, there is still personal struggles that complicate our living.

It's great to be outside, but that means the indoor work takes a back seat. It's wonderful that the days are longer, but that means the children are up later (and the work that needs to be done after bedtime gets moved). It's fantastic that celebrations are upon us, yet difficult to squeeze in every activity. It's terrific that it' warmer outside, but that means my ultra-white skin and winter weight is fully exposed.

Arghhhhhhhhh!

School is almost out. Anticipation for summer makes everyone a little anxious. Change is hard . . . there is no way around it. The school to summer transition creates major changes in schedules and routines.

Everyone right now is struggling with something. While spring is an amazing chance for fresh, new growth, it's also difficult for many. Be easy on yourself and give others the benefit of the doubt. Who knows what may be challenging them this May?

Take time today to look at your own craziness. Ask yourself if you're balancing work and play in a way that is comfortable for you. Allow yourself a minute of peace to catch your breathe and evaluate what you are missing in your life.

Once you can identify which part of your life is so overwhelming, you can begin to grow just like the blooming flowers and green grass.

Busy, busy, busy spring! STOP.

Take a moment to reflect.

#enjoytheblessings hidden amongst all the craziness you are currently living!

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 
 

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#marriagemonday: Hold Your Better Half Close Today

http://godisheart.blogspot.com/2013/04/laugh-and-love-with-all-your-might-kiss.html

Hold your spouse close today. Love him or her with all your might. Take advantage of every moment you have together as a loving couple. Have no regrets.


Marriage Monday was created as an opportunity to share the 'it's okay' philosophy and apply it to our married worlds. It continues to be an avenue to reflect, rejoice and renew your marriage.

It's okay if your interactions haven't been perfect- there is no such thing. It's okay if sometimes you wish for more out of your better half- but, you must communicate that. It's okay if you regret a time in the past or a more recent moment- don't let that regret drive a wedge.

Take time this Monday to hold your spouse close. Take time to communicate how much love you have in your heart just for him or her. Take time to foster this important relationship in your life.

None of us know what tomorrow will bring. We don't know what the future holds. That's okay. It's okay because . . .

If you love completely today, there will be no regrets tomorrow.

Love. Forgive. Communicate. Touch. Laugh. Share.

Live your married life completely today! Imagine for a second what life would be like without your better half- then tell him or her what you would miss most. Hold on to that and let go of all the rest!

Live your married life COMPLETELY today #havenoregrets 

Let your better half know how full of love your heart is #holdyourspouseclosetoday

 

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 
 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

 

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Love, Love, Love

Please say a prayer today . . . for those who have lost loved ones; for those who are struggling; for those who are missing something they need so dearly.

It shouldn't take someone going through a horrific event for us to step back and wonder what we are personally taking for granted.

Yet . . . inevitably, we start reflecting on our own lives.

There is so much sadness in the world.

Loss. Illness. Age. Divorce. Death.

Many of us get stuck on the 'why'. Why do these things happen? Why must some people suffer so greatly?

We can't answer these questions. We can't fix the struggles of others.

So, what can we do?

Certainly offering thoughts, prayers and kind gestures is a way to start. But, it must go further. We must live our lives more gratefully, more intentionally and more fully.

Take today to offer up a prayer for someone in your life who needs your support. Offer yourself in whatever way you are capable- a phone call, a text, a meal, a hug, a knowing smile. Offer your best behavior to all you come in contact with.

After all, who knows what the person sitting beside you is really going through?

I'm sad for someone today. I wish so badly I could make things better. I sit here and wonder what I would feel like if it was me.

As the weekend quickly approaches, take less time doing tasks and more time loving. Worry less about small, petty things and more about appreciating the blessings surrounding you. Spend less time finding the flaws of those around you and more time noticing the gifts and strengths of others.

Love. Love. Love. Don't waste one more second loving any less than completely.