Tueday Tip: Have Fun!

"Honey, you're the most beautiful woman I've ever laid eyes on..."

Long pause.

"Except when you have that nasty scowl on your face."

Well, my husband sure has a way with words. While I was a little irritated with his comment, (since I was apparently extremely frustrated with our children) he was SO right.

My Tuesday Tip for all you parents out there: Have Fun!

I know better than anyone how easy it is to get caught up in the downward spiral of life. I understand that there are a million and one things to get done. I can empathize that life is anything but easy. BUT ... we can't let all that stuff get in the way of enjoying life and loving the blessings that are surrounding us.

So life isn't perfect. Kids will be kids. Heck, rotten adults will be rotten adults. We will even be rotten sometimes. While living, it should be our goal to laugh a little, giggle out loud and appreciate when the opportunity to have fun presents itself.

My best advice for you: do as I say and not as I do! Everyday I try to remind myself that my children are growing up faster than I can recognize, but then I forget. I don't want to look back in 20 years and say that I was organized and got my laundry done. I want to look back and say that I had fun with the people in my life that matter most!

Tomorrow, when things get hectic ... breathe and giggle. It's all going to be okay. Try to recognize even one moment in the day where you can have fun with your life and see the world through the eyes of a child!

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

 

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There's Always Tomorrow

It seems as though I can do pretty good for a while 'letting it all go' so that I can enjoy living. And then, all of a sudden, the you-know-what hits the fan.

When this happens, I am anything but pleasant to be around. Every task in the house seems so daunting and overwhelming. The eight loads of laundry that I actually folded still need to be put away, the entire three floors of our house need to be scrubbed ... the damn dog won't stop shedding, the rotten children keep wanting to play (go figure- ha) and Mommy Dearest is the crabbiest witch anyone has laid eyes on.

It all started after a glorious morning of kids playing in their pj's and me enjoying a cup of coffee on the deck. My two-year-old slept in late and then wanted to cuddle. All of a sudden it was 10:00 am and I felt as though I had got NOTHING done. My husband walked in the door with my son ... they had been fishing since before the sun came up. "It's a GREAT day!" My husband was so proud of our little man, a true fisher.

I told him about my morning and that I was sorry there was a mess EVERYWHERE. I should also mention that I decided this was the morning I decided to clean out the craft cupboard. He listened intently to me describing sitting on the couch with our little one and serving breakfast outside while the kids played. "Sounds like you've had a GREAT day, too! Who cares about the other stuff. There's always tomorrow."

He was so right, yet I couldn't shake the overwhelming feeling I was having. Sure my craft cupboard got cleaned out, but that was it. And who looks in the craft cupboard anyway? It was on my summer list of things to get done- the only thing I've actually crossed off. Maybe it's because I have this feeling that summer is almost over. Is there anything wrong with just enjoying the kids and saying, "screw it" to the to-do list?

There's nothing wrong with letting things go, but eventually LIFE catches up. Eventually things HAVE to get done in order to live. This balance is and has always been a struggle for me. The funny thing is, it always gets done. Sure, not in the timely fashion I would hope, but it gets done. That's what matters.

The million and two things that I want to get done in our house is now at a million and one. I suppose I should be thankful for this small accomplishment. I should break down my tasks one by one so that I'm not so overwhelmed with the big picture. Our kids are happy and healthy. We had a great family weekend together. My kids aren't going to remember what a task-oriented mother they had, but they will remember mornings spent cuddling or playing in their pj's.

I will continue to stress over things I wish I had time to do. But, for tonight, I will remember that it's not about how much I can accomplish in one day, but how much life I can enjoy. These moments when the children are young will not last forever. I'm trying my darndest to remember that and enjoy the heck out of them. I'm doing my best to be present in the moment I am encountering. It's okay that I struggle, but I must continue to try!

Enjoy today ... what you don't get done today will still be there tomorrow! Good luck living in the moment and enjoying the ride life has to offer.

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

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Doo Doo Don'ts

Oh, my poor husband and my poor friend who had to witness the MAJOR poo-tastrophe we encountered last night.

I don't know that we could have prevented the ultimate outcome, but we didn't really understand the magnitude of the situation until the poo was EVERYWHERE.

Let me back up to tell you that I offered to bring my friend dinner who just had her third baby. She was kind and said she would only allow us to feed her family if we brought our family along to enjoy it. Boy, did she underestimate the invitation she sent out to our family circus.

Things were going quite well. The BBQ pulled pork sandwiches hit the spot. The salad, chips and watermelon were perfect sides. The children were all enjoying some water fun and intermittent sliding adventures. Brownies and ice cream were an excellent topper. All that was needed was a little clean-up and we'd be on our way.

I have to admit that holding the new baby was a highlight and the children really were playing quite well (aside for the few time-outs my spirited child had to endure- we really can't go anywhere without a few of these)! The two-year-old had gone missing in the garage for a few minutes and came back announcing she had to go poop. I got a little nervous since it's not really like her to tell us she has to go, it's more about good timing ... we take her often and hope for the best.

My husband scooped her up and it was then that I noticed a little brown in her perfectly pink swimsuit. He put her down quickly and glanced at his poo-covered arm. While he was washing up, the over-tired and extreme fit began. She was inconsolable. There was flailing and screaming and all I could think about was the poop. How on earth were we going to handle this?

We took her to the grass trying to avoid making a major mess on the patio. Heck, dogs poop in lawns all the time ... right? My friend came back with a small pack of wipes and handed me a couple. I didn't have the heart to say that this was going to NO WHERE NEAR cover our issue. She realized this without me saying anything and came back with an extra large box of wipes.

The screaming and flailing hadn't stopped. My poor friend had to witness the entire event. All while her newest little man was being rocked by her husband (he was also trying to console their tired two-year-old). At one point she looked at me and gave me a half-smile, "Good times, right?"

We had to just bite the bullet. I told my husband to pull the suit off. I really just wanted to ask for some scissors. Anyone who has had to clean up poop in pants knows what I mean ... there is a reason why diapers have two buckles.

I held the arms and head and shouted at my husband to pull it off. He looked at me nervous as I gave the command again. Legs were flailing everywhere; I'm sure the whole neighborhood thought we were butchering a calf. He pulled with all his might. And then we reviewed the situation.

"I think we should have developed a better plan." That was all he could say as he glanced down at the ginormous blob of poop on his calf. I came away pretty unscathed but there was poop EVERYWHERE. After using about 39 wipes, we determined that this was not going to cut it. There was poop on her stomach, back, legs, feet; I saw a small bit on her finger and grabbed the clump with a wipe just before she stuck her fingers into her screaming mouth.

Poor baby. While she was not nearly clean enough we tried to come up with the next best plan. The kids were done with the pool for the night, but the water was freezing and our little lady was already beyond calming down. I didn't want to add any more stress to this 'new baby' home, but we needed a tubby BIG TIME.

I hauled our daughter up to the bathroom (she was still kicking and screaming). I couldn't hold her close because she was still poo-covered. We made it to the bath, did the wash down and then my friend saved our lives. I didn't have a pacifier, but asked my daughter if we should go find one (I was secretly hoping this would by me a minute or two of calmness but knew that the ultimate disaster would come when my daughter found out I didn't really have one). My friend chimed in, "Did I hear you say pacifier? I actually have a couple to spare."

Thank goodness for prepared motherly friends. She even gave my whimpering little lady two! One to suck and one to hold for comfort.

We helped clean up and apologized profusely for the drama. She totally understood and got quite a chuckle out of the whole event. She told me not to feel guilty for even a second. Guilt is something us mothers know all too well. We even had a brief conversation about how fathers have this guilt too, but just can't talk about it openly.

Our goodbye's were long and great conversation was had. Her newest little guy had fallen asleep, our poo-tastrophe was history and we were reminded of how lucky we are to have great friends. We had a moment to talk about how we are so hard on our kids- sometimes too hard. Her mother gave her some great advice that I thought about a lot today. "As a mother, it's not our job to criticize, but rather to comfort and console." Here, here.

Our kids will not go to college sucking on pacifiers or pooping in their pants. What is it that we truly want them to remember? Obviously we need to guide them and teach them manners ... but, ultimately they are who they are. They were blessed with strengths and limitations just like we are. I love friends that I can get 'real' with and know that there is no judgment. I was reminded last night that love and comfort is the best thing I can provide for my kids. Thank you dear friend for allowing me to have a few moments that would have otherwise been devastating and so embarrassing. Good friends like you leave me comfortable in my own skin and remind me to be the best mama I can ... even on my worst days:)     

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

 

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It Takes a Village

What would we do without the help of others? Why in this day and age do we think we have to do it alone? Why is it frowned upon if we get a little extra help now and again?

We were at the pool the other day and I am not sure how it all began. I think it was something simple ... my five-year-old wanted a noodle. It wasn't our noodle, but our friends' who have kids the same ages as my older two children and then a child older than mine. Maybe my little spirited girl was feeling left out. We will NEVER know what sets this little fireball off.

I was told she pinched and hit one of the friends. I saw her splashing my daughter and the other girl in the face. I knew it wasn't good. I calmly asked her to walk a lap around the pool (our newest strategy for 'hitting' is that they have to run to the corner and back at our house or walk a lap around the pool if that is where we are). She did not like this one bit.

I moved to strategy 800 and let her know that she could take a lap or sit out until the next pool break. All hell broke loose as she struck me. Calmly, I said she owed me two laps now or she'd be sitting out and that if she couldn't handle that I would call her father to come and get her while we enjoyed pool time.

She reluctantly followed me back to our seats with some more abuse ... I made the phone call ... NO ANSWER.

She took off and started playing in the pool. Ugh. I mentally started planning my escape. I got my oldest out of the pool and let her know that we might need to leave shortly and that I would need her help even though I know she didn't do anything to deserve leaving the pool early. She was on board but very sad and disappointed. I went back to the pool hoping I could delay the unfortunate descent home. My five-year-old would not stop. Everyone that got in her way was treated unkindly and she sought out those that didn't get in her way.

I told my son the plan. He, too, was very disappointed. What was I to do? I had a five-year-old I was going to need to carry out kicking and screaming, a two-year-old who is anything but trustworthy at the pool (jumping in without any care in the world) and a seven and eight-year-old who would be punished for something they didn't do.

As I was getting out my older two, our friend offered to keep them while I ran home. Thank goodness for friends who understand difficult days.

I don't know how, but I convinced my five-year-old to follow me. I got her and the two-year-old safely to the car. Getting in the car and the ride home were ugly to say the least. I kept my calm, but I was the only one.

My spirited child didn't come out of her room except for when we had dinner. I was able to make it back to the pool as soon as my hubby could sneak out of work. We enjoyed as much time as we could to soak up the fact that we weren't going to have the kind of trouble we did just an hour earlier.

I'm so grateful for my friend who kept my older two children so I could follow through with one of mine. It definitely takes a village and while I was very embarrassed and disappointed with my daughter's behavior, my friend let me know that I was not alone in my struggles.

Here's to being 'real' with good friends who understand. We all have bad days and with four children, I'm guaranteed to have at least one child who is ALWAYS off! It's okay. That's what friends are for!

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

 

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Lesson Learned

The Church is not a gallery for the exhibition of eminent Christians, but a school for the education of imperfect ones. -Henry Ward Beecher 

Well, this quote definitely sums up my morning and this picture to the left IS NOT how children feel about church!

We decided to go to later mass today so that we wouldn't be rushed around or stressing for time. The kids got to help in making this decision, so I had the ridiculous notion that they might actually be happy about going to church ... ha!

We have so many wonderful things in our life and in our family- shouldn't the children be able to recognize this? NO. NO, no, no. They are eight, seven, five and two. Get real, Mom. They are children. They don't want to sit silently for an hour and be gracious about the good Lord up above. I should know this. I am an educator for goodness sakes. The way they act is totally age-appropriate and my expectations are sometimes unrealistic. 

After enjoying a pancake breakfast, I helped all my children complete their morning duties. I offered support in cleaning up rooms and making beds. I decided to do this. I created my own stress by giving myself 15 measly minutes to get ready for church. No one was to blame, but ME!

My hubby went down as I was scurrying around trying to ready myself for mass. He got the kids in the car and was just waiting on me. We had plenty of time to get to church. I got in my righteous mood and asked, "Did you have them go to the bathroom?" Though, I can't make my words in this blog as nasty as they were rolling off my tongue. I huffed and puffed and rushed the kids inside to use the restroom (even getting angry at one for going poop... come on, Mom). 

So we started down the road and my husband looked at me very kindly, "You know, if it stresses you out this much to go to church, maybe we shouldn't go."

Well. Humph. 

I sat on his words for a minute and realized how ridiculous I was being. We were going to church. I heard the priest preach to my 2nd grader last year about how church doesn't start at the beginning of the mass, but rather the moment you wake up. I was not in my right mind and needed that second of clarity. 

While my children were NOT happy about going to church, we made it. We made it on time. We made it through the complete service without any major catastrophes (thanks to my husband who took the child that I said I COULD NOT deal with for one more second). 

The quote at the top of this blog sums me up. I don't go to church because I am an eminent Christian, but rather I go because I am constantly being educated about how to be a better one! Saying I am as imperfect as the rest of world is quite true and this morning would have been a compliment!

Here's to your imperfect qualities. Don't stress over them. Just recognize and do the best you can with what you have to work with. I'm hopeful that you have someone as grounded as I do to keep you in check! Though I would never tell him ... my spouse was SO right this morning:)

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

 

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Take Nothing For Granted

Last night was full of delicious food, good friends and my faithful family. As I cleaned up very little this morning, I was reminded of the relaxing and wonderful evening we had last night.

There was a moment as seen to the left where the children were all enjoying popcorn balls. My two-year-old sported her suit for most of the night and didn't mind the sticky blue film that covered her face and hands.

The fun had taken over, small fireworks delighted the children and I simply sat and took it all in. Not too long ago, I would have never been able to sit down. With four children, there is always something to do, someone to take care of or something that will go wrong.

When I looked over at the Little Tykes car and and I noticed the pool of liquid heading down the driveway, I didn't panic in the slightest. My little lady had also gotten caught in the glory and didn't bother to tell me she had to pee. I didn't even get up and instructed my daughter to grab her some clothes and my son to grab some wipes. I sent my friends' kid in to grab a couple glasses of water to wash down the outdoor mess.

The only unfortunate player in this game was my sister. She had apparently missed that there was an accident and picked up the little gem. Her pee-filled shirt didn't last long. On a brighter note, her sweatshirt that had been covered in this same little girl's blood only weeks ago hadn't been returned to her yet. I had washed it, but forgotten to give it back to her. So, she traded her pee-shirt for a clean, blood-free hooded zip-up.

All was right in the world. The dance party and fireworks show continued and I was caught in several moments of thankfulness. While life is still not perfect and accidents will continue to fill up moments of my life, I am reminded this morning that I live in an amazing country. I have an older brother selflessly serving to fight for the very freedom I enjoyed last night. I don't always remember how lucky I am, but today I will try to take nothing for granted. I will do my best not to waste this wonderful life I have been blessed with!

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

 

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Minor Setbacks

So, last Saturday was the $1 flip flop sale at Old Navy.  Who missed out?  It was fabulous.  For $5.35, I had four amazingly happy children and five pairs of flip flops.  Their smiles were priceless.  Something so small made their day so very bright.  

We got started a little late for the annual sale.  I wanted to leave promptly at 8:50 am so that we could be there when the doors opened at 9:00 am.  I knew it would be busy.  We didn’t leave until 9:02 am, which didn’t dampen my mood or the three little darlings that came with me to pick out their favorite color of flip flops.  My son opted out of the shopping adventure but made sure to lock in the colors he would want with my oldest.  

There is a turn-a-bout right near the Old Navy store.  I had my eyes on the store and the two-way street ahead scanning for parking places.  I was making a mental note to just go past the store and park in the parking lot a little further away.  I noticed a truck going quite fast for a shopping center but just kept going on my merry way.  Nothing was going to ruin our $1 sale morning!

It was my fault.  I was in the wrong.  I did not yield at the turn-a-bout like I was supposed to.  If either myself or the truck driver had hesitated even a second more before slamming on the brakes, we would have had more than a minor accident.  Thank heavens our cars didn’t touch.  I was about to raise my hand with the apologetic wave and mouth, “I’m sorry” when he made me feel about as small as a pea.

He didn’t have to shout at me with words, his actions were far louder.   His face looked as mean and horrid as anyone could imagine.  I think if I was standing near him, I would have feared for my life.  I had to follow him through the round turn and unfortunately he headed right to the parking lot where I was also going.  I decided to park right next to him and share how I felt.

I told the girls to stay in the car a second while I talked to the gentleman (who was anything but gentle).  “I’m really sorry that I didn’t see you.  I wasn’t hoping to get in an accident this morning.  I didn’t want to hit you.  You really weren’t very friendly to me and I was just going to wave and tell you I was sorry.  It seemed like you were going awfully fast.”  After a few shared words, he ended up kind of apologizing that he berated me with his actions.  I appreciated that he acknowledged that is was an accident and that it could have happened to anyone. 

I know that Old Navy was having a $1 flip flop sale, but REALLY?  I got my girls out and headed into the store right after the gentleman I had just talked to.  We had a fabulous time picking out flip flops.  My eight-year-old had to shop in the Women’s section and got size 7.  Yep, size 7 … dear Lord, where did the time go?

We were all so happy.  The girls carrying their Old Navy balloons, me not annoyed that they were enjoying walking on the cement benches; giggling and laughing.  I apologized to one couple, we were, after all, taking up the whole sidewalk between the four of us and their dilly-dallying.  Another woman came up on her phone.  She was obviously in a major rush with her several bags of flip flops.  I apologized to her as well and all I got was a nasty look. 

These two minor set-backs in our morning could have been major road blocks.  Usually they would have ruined my spirits.  There have been times I would have gotten angry at the kids for being in the way.  But, Saturday morning, I was just disappointed.  Not with my kids, but with some of the people in this world.  I get in a hurry, too.  I struggle just like the best of them.  I believe most people in this world are good and do the best with what they have to work with.  

Saturday I was reminded that we all have a negative side, but mine doesn’t have to come out.  I don’t have to get beat down by others who are frustrated with my kids taking in a glorious morning!  The next time I’m in a hurry, I want to remember not to get frustrated with those taking life a little slower than I am or enjoying a moment that I am missing.  

I sure hope I remember!