Sun.
Water.
Air.
These are the ingredients that it takes to make a tree grow. Without even one, the tree will not continue to blossom every year.
I sat out on my front porch last night and caught a glimpse of our tree. It's only ten years old, so it's no monster. BUT, it is beautiful. It is strong. It is continuing to blossom year after year.
When our tree started out, it was barely a twig. When a strong wind came up, I remember worrying it would come right out of the ground. And shade? Well let's just say that there may have been a small Barbie that could have found shade in our original baby tree.
The beauty in our front yard is like our marriage story; each limb and leaf holding a memory of our years together. And the roots of our tree now . . . deep, thick and sustaining life.
Marriages begin with love. There is hope and anticipation. But the roots of our marriage aren't there just because we say, "I do!". Each interaction, struggle and memory strengthen our 'tree'. The good, the bad and the ugly define the shape of our growing relationship.
While our tree is representative of the marriage, it is critical to recognize that two people come together to make it whole. If half the tree dies, the rest will not survive.
We must encourage our spouse to do what he/she loves to do in order to keep our tree thriving. We each need to bring our best self to the marriage and we cannot do that if we are not happy.
Recognizing each other's strengths.
Accepting one another's limitations.
Compromising to show compassion to our spouses.
Encouraging our partners to do what they love.
These are the ingredients to making our marriages as strong as an aging tree.
This week my husband is long gone to Canada. He is doing what he loves. Some people think I'm crazy to 'let' him go away for a week each year. I think I'd be crazy NOT to encourage him to go. This is his passion- he deserves, no, he NEEDS, to do what he loves. He is a better version of himself when he gets to take time to do what he is good at and enjoys.
Staring at our tree last night I thought back to before we got married. I remember when my hubby first went away for a week. I missed him. I worried about him. But I didn't understand how strong I'd be with him and how intertwined we'd become. Our story is so different from that first trip- so much richer and deeper than I ever could have imagined. My love and worries are so different now.
Our marriages- all of our marriages will die off slowly, limb by limb, if we don't foster our spouses. We must give our marriages the best chance we can of survival. We must help our partners be the best they can be so that our roots, limbs and leaves will become big and strong; able to sustain hard times that will inevitably challenge our growth.
This week contemplate how your tree is growing. What challenges are standing in the way of adding an extra root? What can you do to foster your spouse and encourage him to do what he loves? How can you communicate your own needs better so your spouse is aware of your passion?
Marriage won't just grow.
Put in the time. Recognize your better half.
Appreciate his strengths. Accept her limitations. Compromise and show compassion. Most importantly . . . encourage him to do what he loves.
Step back. Appreciate the beauty in the tree the two of you have grown together!
Marriage = Tree #storyofourlife
Each root, limb & leaf! Foster your marriage tree
2 become 1
Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'.
Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!
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