In my mind ... "Honey, how about you take that mower and shove it where the sun doesn't shine!"
Okay. I didn't say that out loud ... especially since he asked me right in front of my parents.
A chuckle and a banter about who has mowed more this summer occurred. And I sucked it up and mowed.
Marriage is a funny thing. The two parties involved are not always on the same page. The two people who vowed to love each other until death do them part- don't always like each other. Ambition and desire to complete the necessary tasks of daily living do not always occur at the same time.
We are a team. We are a 'us' and not an 'I'.
I get that. I do. I understand that marriage is not supposed to be easy. I understand that some days I may not like the person I vowed to love. BUT ... all those out there who are married understand that while marriage is beautiful in one breath, it is just as ugly in the other.
My husband and I met while we were both teaching at the same school. We used to send students between our classes with notes for one another. We would meet out on the playground and have recess at the same time. We did the 'little' things that made our love 'big' and strong.
After years of marriage and four little people taking over our lives, it's hard to find time to do the 'little' things that make such a big difference.
So, today, we worked together. I mowed (and fought off my negative attitude and true feelings) and he did the weed eating and poop-picking up! We, of course, later bantered about who did the most work and the most difficult job! When it was done, I must say that it felt wonderful. I was glad it took half the time since we worked together. His desire to 'getter-done' helped us to have more time to just enjoy the weekend.
"Honey, your motivation to get things done today was inspiring ... AND annoying. Really, more annoying than inspiring, but it's done."
That's a marriage, right? Doing what the other wants to keep the peace and to keep life moving. That's not to say that we don't squabble. Surely, you must know that we curse at one another occasionally. There are mean and snide comments. There are hurtful words shared. There are bad days, weeks and even months occasionally.
BUT, overall, there is love. There is joy. And, at the end of the day, I still love my husband. I still have fun with my husband. And, I certainly feel lucky to be stuck with him ... for better or for worse.
Last week, after many years of not working together, we got to be at the same meeting at the same time. Smirks and whispers took me back to our years of passing notes in the hallway of the elementary school we once met at.
An old friend of ours and one who taught with us many, many years ago was at the same meeting. I had heard she had a baby well after she was done having kids. I laughed, "Don't you know how that happens?" Her comment was so true, "At least it means my husband and I still like one another!"
So ... here's to you and your spouse! Here's to the wonderful, blissful and amazing moments that you share. Here's to the 'it's okay' moments and fingernails-on-the-chalkboard moments that leave you wondering how you could truly dislike the person that you love so much.
Marriage is not supposed to be easy. It's not supposed to be all fun and games. Hopefully the wonderful moments out-weigh the bad ones and that you can take a look back into the joy that once brought you together.
Happy long weekend!
Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'.
Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!
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