My husband is amazing. He really is so supportive and helpful. It's just that there are moments etched in our married life that he forgets he is not my fifth child! I blog today with love and appreciation for my husband and the hope that when he reads this he can get a good chuckle, rather than a maddening irritation for his loving wife!
So, last night I was supposed to meet some friends out for dinner. I purposely scheduled it for later so that I could do dinner with the family and help get the bedtime routine started before departing. My husband had a great idea, though, that he would take the kids swimming. He offered to have me go to a workout class while he tended to the children and assured me that he'd be fine doing dinner a little later on his own.
He was supposed to come home early to help get everyone ready, but work was a little more than he bargained for and so his arrival time was not going to be before 4:30. This was no problem because I had an errand to run with the children (I needed to buy my daughter's birthday present for TODAY ... she is only two so I knew I could sneak buying it even though she was there) and we would be home in time to have a snack and prepare for the pool/workout adventure.
Well, my husband pulled up right when we did. I told him we would need a few minutes to unload from the day and get settled. A dear friend had called at that moment and I just wanted to visit for a few minutes before we started the hog-wild adventure of trying to pack for four kids to go swimming (not to mention unloading the crab that had accumulated in our van since 2:45pm).
My husband was ready to go apparently because he instructed the children to get their suits on so we could go. Mind you, it's been winter for about 10 months and their snow suits are more accessible than their swim suits. I quickly ended my conversation with my friend, knowing that my children would create more of a disaster trying to 'find' their suits than if I just helped them.
My hubby then instructed the oldest to get the swim bag ready. Are you kidding? Again, the swim bag has about 1,000 things it, of which 998 of the things were not needed for this pool visit. She wouldn't know how to unpack and repack with the necessary items. So again, in order to create less of a disaster, I helped. Then the almost two-year-old (today is her birthday ... Happy Birthday my sweet two-year-old!) was ready to get her suit on. She is still in need of a swim diaper, but anyone who has used swim diapers knows that the only thing they really hold is poop (and we've learned on several occasions that they don't even hold that!).
So, I reminded my husband that she would need a swim diaper. "No problem, just keep her clothes on." He said this with a smile, not worrying about a care in the world or having any idea why I was fuming. My irritation growing by the second. "SHE WANTS TO WEAR HER SUIT." I wasn't very nice, I know. But when a little lady like ours sees everyone else has on their swim suits, the chance of her not wearing one is slim to none!
Then I checked on the clothes. He assured me he told the kids to put their clothes over their suits and bring him their underwear so they could change after swimming. "Did they bring you clean underwear?" Again, I was probably not the most friendliest. It's the little things that husbands forget. If they are going to shower after swimming, it kind of defeats the purpose if they put their dirty underwear back on. He then asked, "Do we have shampoo in the bag?" Seriously, the bag was less than a foot from him ... LOOK IN THE DAMN BAG!
After getting clean underwear from all the kids, packing the swim bag and the dry-clothes bag, my husband was ready to go. BUT ... I wasn't. We were all going to go so I could help get the kids in the pool, then I was going to go work out. UGH. My husband laughed and tried to tell a joke to get me to smile; mocking me for being so upset about something so minor. UGH again.
We then had a ten-minute conversation about the locker rooms and who would go where. We then packed a separate bag for the two girls so they could go in the 'Women's' locker room and he could take the two-year-old and older boy with him. SO COMPLICATED! I wanted to just throw the towel in and say screw my workout! It's so much easier just to do it yourself than to explain everything you normally do! I have to admit, I was being quite childish!
I sent them off to pool. I would just meet them there. I was going to have to drive separate anyway because I was going to dinner with my friends. My irritation was beyond what I can explain. Why? I don't know exactly. Maybe because he was ready to go and I wasn't. Maybe because he can handle the kids being helpers and I can't. Maybe he just wanted to go have fun with his kids. Maybe I was over-reacting a little.
Of course, in order to reaffirm that I was not crazy, I called that dear friend back that I had a brief conversation with earlier. I just had to vent. She reminded me that I have an amazing husband who more often than not does NOT act like my fifth child:)
You will never guess how this all ended ... I got a call a several minutes later as I was about to depart ... the pool had to CLOSE! Yep, a little lady did her business in the pool (not mine, thank the good Lord) and so the pool wouldn't be open for the rest of the day.
My husband rolled with the punches like he always does! He took the kids to park, encouraged me to go work-out and to have a great night at dinner with my friends. Looks like my crabbiness didn't get to him- he loved me anyway.
So, in the end ... I had a great workout and an amazing dinner with friends. They didn't mind that I was stinky and had messy hair. It was a wonderful night. Totally worth it in the end. If only I would have tried to enjoy the process a little more in the meantime. Thanks, hubby of mine, for not letting me spoil your fun night with the kids! I'm darn lucky to have you even though I don't appreciate you like I should!
Thursday, April 25, 2013
Wednesday, April 24, 2013
Life Is Not Luxurious, But Moments Can Be
As my husband and I were relaxing on the couch last night during one of our new favorite TV shows, an interesting car commercial came on. I think it was for an Acura, but I cannot be for certain. It showed a magnificent looking man coming out of his luxurious closet into his luxurious bedroom and then heading into his luxurious kitchen. He finally headed out of his luxurious house and got into the 'best' of all his luxuries ... his luxurious car. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Whose life is that luxurious? The commercial used the word like it was going out of style. And all I could think about was that his life is the complete opposite of mine. I can't name one luxurious item that could be found within this thing we call a home. I started thinking about our mini-van ... our five-year-old blue Honda with stained carpets, trash shoved in the driver's side door (this drives my husband crazy), random substances stuck in between the seats ... not really like the picture on the TV! And my house; my lived in and loved house. It has a story for every mark, every stain, every chip, every toy or colored paper that can be found. For goodness sakes, I'm happy if the house is picked up and the laundry is half-done! Again, this is so far from the luxurious house I saw on the TV last night.
Life is not luxurious. It is not neat. It is not always clean. It is not new (for more than a day or two). Life is tedious and daunting; dirty and messy. Life is runny noses and socks that don't match. Life is saggy (moms you know what I mean) and wrinkled and sometimes bald. Life is unread books stacked up by the nightstand and projects that go unfinished for years. Life is pants with holes and unshaven legs. Life is being down to the last roll of toilet paper (which happened in our house this morning!) and soap scum on the shower. Life is piles of papers and uncut lawns. Life does not and will not fit into a neat little gift-wrapped box.
It's okay. Life is not luxurious and that is okay. We weren't put on this earth to have the perfect life in the perfect house and to drive the perfect car. We weren't born into perfect families or have perfect friends. We can't expect that life will not have hiccups and bumps and major potholes. It will challenge us. It will drive us crazy. It will be difficult.
Knowing that life cannot and should not be luxurious is great in theory. But, it doesn't make our struggles any easier. There was a moment last night when I wished for the perfect house and the perfect car and the perfect life. There are moments when I'm scrolling on Facebook, that I get caught up in the pictures and wish for something better. I have to step back and realize that my life is pretty darn amazing. It's not perfect, but it doesn't have to be. The commercial I saw last night was not real. The things that I see on Facebook don't reveal the struggles behind the photos.
We have to live in our luxurious moments, not our luxurious life. We all have seconds or minutes or even hours where life seems perfect. They don't last, but they exist. They are still perfection in their own little snippet of time. We can't look at a lifetime as being luxurious, but rather enjoy the moments of luxury that come together to define our lives.
The stacks of papers will keep coming. The laundry will keep piling up. The trash in the car will continue to get stashed. The house will continue to get dirty. Relationships will continue to require work. Life will be life. But, it's up to us to embrace the luxury of moment. It's up to us to see the luxuries to do exist within our messy lives.
Whose life is that luxurious? The commercial used the word like it was going out of style. And all I could think about was that his life is the complete opposite of mine. I can't name one luxurious item that could be found within this thing we call a home. I started thinking about our mini-van ... our five-year-old blue Honda with stained carpets, trash shoved in the driver's side door (this drives my husband crazy), random substances stuck in between the seats ... not really like the picture on the TV! And my house; my lived in and loved house. It has a story for every mark, every stain, every chip, every toy or colored paper that can be found. For goodness sakes, I'm happy if the house is picked up and the laundry is half-done! Again, this is so far from the luxurious house I saw on the TV last night.
Life is not luxurious. It is not neat. It is not always clean. It is not new (for more than a day or two). Life is tedious and daunting; dirty and messy. Life is runny noses and socks that don't match. Life is saggy (moms you know what I mean) and wrinkled and sometimes bald. Life is unread books stacked up by the nightstand and projects that go unfinished for years. Life is pants with holes and unshaven legs. Life is being down to the last roll of toilet paper (which happened in our house this morning!) and soap scum on the shower. Life is piles of papers and uncut lawns. Life does not and will not fit into a neat little gift-wrapped box.
It's okay. Life is not luxurious and that is okay. We weren't put on this earth to have the perfect life in the perfect house and to drive the perfect car. We weren't born into perfect families or have perfect friends. We can't expect that life will not have hiccups and bumps and major potholes. It will challenge us. It will drive us crazy. It will be difficult.
Knowing that life cannot and should not be luxurious is great in theory. But, it doesn't make our struggles any easier. There was a moment last night when I wished for the perfect house and the perfect car and the perfect life. There are moments when I'm scrolling on Facebook, that I get caught up in the pictures and wish for something better. I have to step back and realize that my life is pretty darn amazing. It's not perfect, but it doesn't have to be. The commercial I saw last night was not real. The things that I see on Facebook don't reveal the struggles behind the photos.
We have to live in our luxurious moments, not our luxurious life. We all have seconds or minutes or even hours where life seems perfect. They don't last, but they exist. They are still perfection in their own little snippet of time. We can't look at a lifetime as being luxurious, but rather enjoy the moments of luxury that come together to define our lives.
The stacks of papers will keep coming. The laundry will keep piling up. The trash in the car will continue to get stashed. The house will continue to get dirty. Relationships will continue to require work. Life will be life. But, it's up to us to embrace the luxury of moment. It's up to us to see the luxuries to do exist within our messy lives.
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
Thankful for Small Acts
Today I am thankful for so many things I usually take for granted. I am blessed with an amazing family that lives right here in town (and others that are at the reach of my phone). I have neighbors that are trustworthy, honest and that I am proud to call my friends. My children go to a school that is walking distance from our house that is full of tremendous teachers. The preschool that my daughter attends is like a second home (her teacher came to her party on Sunday!). My dear friends that live both in town and out are people that I can count on and enjoy more than I can stand.
Why? Why am I bringing this up today? Well, last night something happened that made me realize I have it pretty darn good. It all started with a small act of kindness by the woman behind the YMCA counter. As I approached her (running late for class and without a water bottle), I asked her if I could have a cup. I knew that I needed at least one glass of water since I don't know that I had drank any yesterday. Anyway, she informed me that you can't take cups into the workout rooms, but asked if I could wait a second. She went in the back and pulled out a water bottle. She gave it to me, free of charge and with a gleaming smile on her face! I was so thankful.
This started a little escapade of getting set up in a very full class. I ended up next to a woman who was taking the class for the first time. She was so excited. Friendly beyond belief and I have to add, had the most beautiful face. A short time into class she sat down and didn't look so well. I stopped and asked her if she was okay. She replied that she felt very dizzy. The teacher came over and then stepped out to grab the same woman that offered me my water bottle. She noticed that the woman looked disoriented and realized the woman did not know her name.
I helped get the woman on her feet and to the hallway. The ambulance was called because of her pain and disorientation. We realized in the meantime that her son was there with her. In trying to keep her awake, I started asking her a billion questions. I soon became aware that she and her son were on their own. That she had no emergency contact and could only think of one person to call and help her (to which she couldn't remember the number). I took the key that went to her locker and searched the locker room to find the right locker. Finally, her purse and phone were found in the hopes that she could get in touch with someone who could help her.
I went back in to finish class and then continued on with my night. I picked up my daughter from dance and then met my husband at scouts to pick up my two little ones so that he could finish up scouts with my son. You see we struggle to make it all happen and we have each other, as well as dozens of other people who can help us when we are in a bind. My mind started reeling ... how would this woman get home from the hospital? Who would help with her son if she has to stay over night? How would she get her car from the YMCA?
Well, I took my three little ladies and headed to the hospital to find out! It was a blessing I went. I was able to help on many levels. I'm blogging about this for one reason- I take so many blessings for granted EVERY SINGLE DAY. As I thought about what would have happened if it was me who got taken away by ambulance ... there would be at least 15 people I could call that would be there within minutes. By doing a small deed last night, I was reminded about how many people touch my life on a daily basis.
Small acts of kindness go a long way! Take time today to smile at someone sad. Or talk to the over-worked cashier. That bottle of water yesterday reminded me to pay it forward. You never know how much you can impact those around you or touch a saddened heart. You do make a difference. You are a powerful force! Here's to being thankful for the opportunities we have every day on this beautiful earth (even the days that are like winter in spring!).
Why? Why am I bringing this up today? Well, last night something happened that made me realize I have it pretty darn good. It all started with a small act of kindness by the woman behind the YMCA counter. As I approached her (running late for class and without a water bottle), I asked her if I could have a cup. I knew that I needed at least one glass of water since I don't know that I had drank any yesterday. Anyway, she informed me that you can't take cups into the workout rooms, but asked if I could wait a second. She went in the back and pulled out a water bottle. She gave it to me, free of charge and with a gleaming smile on her face! I was so thankful.
This started a little escapade of getting set up in a very full class. I ended up next to a woman who was taking the class for the first time. She was so excited. Friendly beyond belief and I have to add, had the most beautiful face. A short time into class she sat down and didn't look so well. I stopped and asked her if she was okay. She replied that she felt very dizzy. The teacher came over and then stepped out to grab the same woman that offered me my water bottle. She noticed that the woman looked disoriented and realized the woman did not know her name.
I helped get the woman on her feet and to the hallway. The ambulance was called because of her pain and disorientation. We realized in the meantime that her son was there with her. In trying to keep her awake, I started asking her a billion questions. I soon became aware that she and her son were on their own. That she had no emergency contact and could only think of one person to call and help her (to which she couldn't remember the number). I took the key that went to her locker and searched the locker room to find the right locker. Finally, her purse and phone were found in the hopes that she could get in touch with someone who could help her.
I went back in to finish class and then continued on with my night. I picked up my daughter from dance and then met my husband at scouts to pick up my two little ones so that he could finish up scouts with my son. You see we struggle to make it all happen and we have each other, as well as dozens of other people who can help us when we are in a bind. My mind started reeling ... how would this woman get home from the hospital? Who would help with her son if she has to stay over night? How would she get her car from the YMCA?
Well, I took my three little ladies and headed to the hospital to find out! It was a blessing I went. I was able to help on many levels. I'm blogging about this for one reason- I take so many blessings for granted EVERY SINGLE DAY. As I thought about what would have happened if it was me who got taken away by ambulance ... there would be at least 15 people I could call that would be there within minutes. By doing a small deed last night, I was reminded about how many people touch my life on a daily basis.
Small acts of kindness go a long way! Take time today to smile at someone sad. Or talk to the over-worked cashier. That bottle of water yesterday reminded me to pay it forward. You never know how much you can impact those around you or touch a saddened heart. You do make a difference. You are a powerful force! Here's to being thankful for the opportunities we have every day on this beautiful earth (even the days that are like winter in spring!).
Friday, April 19, 2013
Be Thankful For Those That Drive You The Most Crazy
At the end of my book is a section entitled, 'Final Thoughts.' This section is meant to wrap up my book and leave the reader with ten things I hope the book encourages them to think about. The very last one is 'Be thankful for those that drive you the most crazy.' I put this one in because I feel that it is the one I struggle with the most. And, yes, I am referring to one of my children.
That very child is turning five this weekend. Let me tell you a little about her ... this child has more zest and spirit than any other child I know. She is beautiful inside and out. From a very young age she exuded an independence and wealth of knowledge far beyond her years. She seemed to understand death, heaven and angels from the age of three. She is fiery and fun and creative and energetic and has no fear of life. She takes life by the horns and WILL not lose! She loves games and creative play and puzzles and reading and learning and, and, and! She is amazing.
Why, then, you might ask would I be writing about her in conjunction with being thankful for those that drive us most crazy. Well, that same spirit she has about life often conflicts with the norm. It goes against compliance and calmness and just being. She beats to her own drum and that drum is often NOT the one that I am playing.
I have been at home with my spirited child for the first time this year. We have had many challenging mornings. We have had too many battles to count. We have struggled. BUT, we have also achieved joy and magic and wonderful times. I would not trade this year with her for the world. I love her more than I can stand even though some days I can't stand her. How awkward and awful does that sound? Well, it's honest and it's 'real.' Isn't that what my book, It's Okay: Let's Get Real About This Thing We Call Parenting, is all about? Admitting to not having it all figured out.
This morning I walked in to my daughter's room to find her shades completely pulled up to the top. "It's a SUNNY day!" We have had cloud filled days for four out of this five-day week. And can you guess who is the type of kid to praise the sun? That's right. She notices the little things and finds joy around every corner. I was irritated the other day when we were about to cross the street to my children's school. She was not at my side like I had instructed. She was picking dandelions ... the first sign of spring. She was elated! And I was irritated. Why? So what if she doesn't follow my every command ... she's not that type of kid. But, she does appreciate simple beauty!
Her smile can be felt for miles. Her joy and love for people is so obvious. She doesn't hide behind my leg when I ask her to tell someone thank you- she runs up and knocks them over with a true thank you hug! Last night in the library, some man on crutches lost his receipt. I told her to go and let him know that he dropped it. She did it without losing a beat.
I don't want to squash her spirit. I don't want her to change. I need to change my views of the prim and proper way to do things. Life isn't clear cut. It's messy. She's willing to embrace that mess and love every minute of it. I sure could learn a lot from her!
This morning her very best friend and love of her life got to come over for a play date. There were no older siblings to ruin her time. There was no one interfering with the games she wanted to enjoy. I got to have a marvelous morning catching up with a friend, while she had the most amazing play date of the year. When her friend wrote her a text last night to ask if she wanted him to bring donuts, she quickly responded, "Yes, I want a chocolate one and I LOVE YOU!" I wanted to write something other than what she said (after all, it's kind of rude to demand a certain doughnut and not say please or thank you), but that's her. She meant it in the most loving way!
Today I am beyond thankful for the child of mine that drives me most crazy! I am so excited to have her celebrate her fifth birthday. I know our relationship will continue to have it's ups and downs. But, if I could take my own advice and just love her for who she is, our days will have more ups than I could imagine!
That very child is turning five this weekend. Let me tell you a little about her ... this child has more zest and spirit than any other child I know. She is beautiful inside and out. From a very young age she exuded an independence and wealth of knowledge far beyond her years. She seemed to understand death, heaven and angels from the age of three. She is fiery and fun and creative and energetic and has no fear of life. She takes life by the horns and WILL not lose! She loves games and creative play and puzzles and reading and learning and, and, and! She is amazing.
Why, then, you might ask would I be writing about her in conjunction with being thankful for those that drive us most crazy. Well, that same spirit she has about life often conflicts with the norm. It goes against compliance and calmness and just being. She beats to her own drum and that drum is often NOT the one that I am playing.
I have been at home with my spirited child for the first time this year. We have had many challenging mornings. We have had too many battles to count. We have struggled. BUT, we have also achieved joy and magic and wonderful times. I would not trade this year with her for the world. I love her more than I can stand even though some days I can't stand her. How awkward and awful does that sound? Well, it's honest and it's 'real.' Isn't that what my book, It's Okay: Let's Get Real About This Thing We Call Parenting, is all about? Admitting to not having it all figured out.
This morning I walked in to my daughter's room to find her shades completely pulled up to the top. "It's a SUNNY day!" We have had cloud filled days for four out of this five-day week. And can you guess who is the type of kid to praise the sun? That's right. She notices the little things and finds joy around every corner. I was irritated the other day when we were about to cross the street to my children's school. She was not at my side like I had instructed. She was picking dandelions ... the first sign of spring. She was elated! And I was irritated. Why? So what if she doesn't follow my every command ... she's not that type of kid. But, she does appreciate simple beauty!
Her smile can be felt for miles. Her joy and love for people is so obvious. She doesn't hide behind my leg when I ask her to tell someone thank you- she runs up and knocks them over with a true thank you hug! Last night in the library, some man on crutches lost his receipt. I told her to go and let him know that he dropped it. She did it without losing a beat.
I don't want to squash her spirit. I don't want her to change. I need to change my views of the prim and proper way to do things. Life isn't clear cut. It's messy. She's willing to embrace that mess and love every minute of it. I sure could learn a lot from her!
This morning her very best friend and love of her life got to come over for a play date. There were no older siblings to ruin her time. There was no one interfering with the games she wanted to enjoy. I got to have a marvelous morning catching up with a friend, while she had the most amazing play date of the year. When her friend wrote her a text last night to ask if she wanted him to bring donuts, she quickly responded, "Yes, I want a chocolate one and I LOVE YOU!" I wanted to write something other than what she said (after all, it's kind of rude to demand a certain doughnut and not say please or thank you), but that's her. She meant it in the most loving way!
Today I am beyond thankful for the child of mine that drives me most crazy! I am so excited to have her celebrate her fifth birthday. I know our relationship will continue to have it's ups and downs. But, if I could take my own advice and just love her for who she is, our days will have more ups than I could imagine!
Wednesday, April 17, 2013
Household Hazards
"Life is like laundry!" I believe I could be quoted saying this a few blogs back. Ironically, I had a true laundry moment that could sum up the life of a mother! Here it goes ...
I hope I am not the only one that will throw a load of laundry in (expecting to have it dried and folded by lunch), only to forget about it until the following night. Every time I swear this is not going to happen, I totally space that I put clothes in the washer or some catastrophe distracts me and the laundry sits yet again. The detergent company must love people like me; you know the ones who have to re-wash a load of laundry at least two times a month.
Well, not only do I have to re-wash clothes that have sat too long in the washer, but I am also guilty of turning the dryer on for the fourth time to de-wrinkle the clothes that have been stashed in the dryer for days. We don't really believe in ironing at our house, so if the clothes don't come hot out of the dryer, we would look more frazzled than we already are.
Last Friday we had invited four couples over with their children to have a long over-due get together. It was an excellent reason to clean up the house. I picked up the endless amounts of clutter and began my baby-wipe wipe down (don't judge ... they are way cheaper than the Clorox wipes and I am never out of them). Years ago I had to give up on my cleaning schedule where I miraculously had the house spotless (never cleaning the floors before the counters were clean ... never cleaning the floor without having washed the rugs first ... never cleaning the mirrors before the sinks so they didn't get water spots on them ... never vacuuming before dusting to avoid dirt getting back on the carpet) and just hope that a picked up house was clean enough for my friends.
Anyway, having these people over motivated me to not only clean up the clutter, but also get all the laundry washed, dried and put away. It was a wonderful burst of energy and caught me up enough that I figured I could stay on top of it this week. I have to put in a little plug about our get together ... 12 kids under eight and ten adults. It was fabulous. We had to stand to eat, eat only two bites at a time, later sit at a lemonade soaked table cloth, enjoy conversations in ten second increments before being interrupted ... but it was wonderful. There was about 30 uninterrupted minutes after dinner and dessert where the kids were all downstairs playing and the adults reminisced, laughed and got 'real' about raising a family, marriage and life in general!
Sorry to digress. So this week the laundry has been going well (I know it's only Tuesday). I had put in a load yesterday and then after one more load with a pee-soaked rug, we'd be all caught up again. But, I got distracted yesterday and forgot where I was at. Our dryer is a little under the weather (it has been for the last year) so we have to use two drying cycles for the clothes to be dry. I had a little time to fold last night but couldn't remember when I put the clothes in the dryer, so I turned it on for a drying cycle.
Oops, forgot to fold the clothes while they were hot, so decided I would wait until this morning to fold. This morning, I yet again, turned on the drying cycle so that our clothes would be wrinkle-free and was going to fold the clothes before gymnastics. My shower and getting the girls ready took longer than expected, so the clothes got left yet again. When I came home, I turned on the dryer for a third time and had hopes to fold the clothes before we left for preschool. NOPE! Didn't get it done then either. As a last ditch effort, I turned it on after I put my little one down for a nap. This time I just let the dryer heat up the clothes for about ten minutes before I went to get the laundry to fold. Surely with all the morning fluffing, the clothes wouldn't take long to de-wrinkle.
I opened the dryer ... and get this ... IT WAS EMPTY! Yep, I dried a phantom load of laundry four, yes four, times!
Have a great day!
I hope I am not the only one that will throw a load of laundry in (expecting to have it dried and folded by lunch), only to forget about it until the following night. Every time I swear this is not going to happen, I totally space that I put clothes in the washer or some catastrophe distracts me and the laundry sits yet again. The detergent company must love people like me; you know the ones who have to re-wash a load of laundry at least two times a month.
Well, not only do I have to re-wash clothes that have sat too long in the washer, but I am also guilty of turning the dryer on for the fourth time to de-wrinkle the clothes that have been stashed in the dryer for days. We don't really believe in ironing at our house, so if the clothes don't come hot out of the dryer, we would look more frazzled than we already are.
Last Friday we had invited four couples over with their children to have a long over-due get together. It was an excellent reason to clean up the house. I picked up the endless amounts of clutter and began my baby-wipe wipe down (don't judge ... they are way cheaper than the Clorox wipes and I am never out of them). Years ago I had to give up on my cleaning schedule where I miraculously had the house spotless (never cleaning the floors before the counters were clean ... never cleaning the floor without having washed the rugs first ... never cleaning the mirrors before the sinks so they didn't get water spots on them ... never vacuuming before dusting to avoid dirt getting back on the carpet) and just hope that a picked up house was clean enough for my friends.
Anyway, having these people over motivated me to not only clean up the clutter, but also get all the laundry washed, dried and put away. It was a wonderful burst of energy and caught me up enough that I figured I could stay on top of it this week. I have to put in a little plug about our get together ... 12 kids under eight and ten adults. It was fabulous. We had to stand to eat, eat only two bites at a time, later sit at a lemonade soaked table cloth, enjoy conversations in ten second increments before being interrupted ... but it was wonderful. There was about 30 uninterrupted minutes after dinner and dessert where the kids were all downstairs playing and the adults reminisced, laughed and got 'real' about raising a family, marriage and life in general!
Sorry to digress. So this week the laundry has been going well (I know it's only Tuesday). I had put in a load yesterday and then after one more load with a pee-soaked rug, we'd be all caught up again. But, I got distracted yesterday and forgot where I was at. Our dryer is a little under the weather (it has been for the last year) so we have to use two drying cycles for the clothes to be dry. I had a little time to fold last night but couldn't remember when I put the clothes in the dryer, so I turned it on for a drying cycle.
Oops, forgot to fold the clothes while they were hot, so decided I would wait until this morning to fold. This morning, I yet again, turned on the drying cycle so that our clothes would be wrinkle-free and was going to fold the clothes before gymnastics. My shower and getting the girls ready took longer than expected, so the clothes got left yet again. When I came home, I turned on the dryer for a third time and had hopes to fold the clothes before we left for preschool. NOPE! Didn't get it done then either. As a last ditch effort, I turned it on after I put my little one down for a nap. This time I just let the dryer heat up the clothes for about ten minutes before I went to get the laundry to fold. Surely with all the morning fluffing, the clothes wouldn't take long to de-wrinkle.
I opened the dryer ... and get this ... IT WAS EMPTY! Yep, I dried a phantom load of laundry four, yes four, times!
Have a great day!
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
So Little ... So Wise
How is it that the little people in our lives know so much? Why is it that we struggle to answer their questions appropriately or with the answer that is just right? So many times we are caught off guard by the amazing thought processes our children have. Wouldn't life be amazing if we could see life through the eyes of a child. Wouldn't it be grand if we could shield our children from ever growing up to face the real life challenges that exist and that make us so darn boring?
It can be very humorous to recall the many moments our children have 'stumped' us. Definitely, in the moment, we are not as amused as later, but these little people may know the trick to living a purpose filled life. They may actually be smarter than we are on so many different levels. We are constantly telling our children to be honest and upfront. Yet, we are also asking them not to say the truth if it really hurts someone else. How complicated is that?
Yesterday, my husband and I were laughing about a night that stumped us many years and two kids ago. It was a night that after working we were both exhausted. We had two children at the time; our oldest was three and our other one was almost two. I was pregnant with our third child and the only dinner out that I wanted was Valentino's. So ... giving the pregnant mama what she wanted, off to Valentino's we headed.
At a table not too far from ours were two women. They seemed to have the attire of what we might refer to as 'biker chicks'. I feel bad saying that because to be honest, I don't know what they would have referred to themselves as. That cliche may be offensive and if it is, I apologize. Anyway, one of them looked more masculine than the other. I'm all for differences and it didn't bother me in the slightest. It did, however, confuse our almost two-year-old.
He started asking very loudly, "Why does that man have long hair?" We tried to explain quietly that it wasn't a man, but a woman and that we all look different in our own way. Our near two-year-old was anything but satisfied. He seemed to let it go for the moment while we enjoyed our pizza and spaghetti. When it was time for dessert, we had to walk by the table of women yet again and he must have gotten reminded of the nagging question that did not get answered sufficiently. So again, just as my husband and son walked by their table, he asked his question again very aggressively. "DAD, WHY DOES THAT MAN HAVE LONG HAIR?"
We seemed to still be uncomfortable with our parenting experience at the time and so my husband acted as if he didn't hear his son, scooped him up and carried him to the ice cream. He distracted him beautifully and walked a different way to get back to our table. He then moved his chair (so his back was to the woman) so that my son would not be reminded to ask his question again.
I share this story because my son had a good question. He was confused about a 'norm' that he had understood. His question did not have to be offensive. At this point in my parenting, I would feel comfortable to apologize to the woman and let her know that he wasn't familiar with woman who ride motorcycles and let her know how sorry I was that he called her a man. But, instead of doing the right thing, I let my son's terribly honest question embarrass my husband and I. We looked even more rude by just avoiding the very obvious question my son was shouting.
Life is not black and white. It is a mixture of every shade of gray. While this fact is difficult to teach our growing children, it may not be as difficult as we think. Instead of avoiding uncomfortable situations, sometimes we just need to tackle them head on. If we are upfront and honest about our feelings; our embarrassment, guilt, judgment and inadequacy, aren't we teaching our children the most valuable lesson of all? Many times when we avoid our children's questions, we leave them with a skewed perspective. Answering honestly might mean that sometimes we have to admit that we don't know it all. That we aren't sure why things are the way they are. That life is more complicated than we can explain. That only the good Lord up above knows the very reason why things are the way they are.
So, for today, I will try to upfront and honest with my children. I will try not to let uncomfortable moments beat me. After all, learning to deal with the little people that are so wise will help me continue to grow and learn. My dad has been quoted saying, "My kids did a good job of raising me!"
Little people are wise beyond their years. Why don't we laugh more? Why don't we get dirty or jump in the rain puddles. Why can't we let loose a little just to see what fun we can have? In order to answer that, we have to get uncomfortable. We have to step out of the little box that defines us. It's certainly not easy and not something we can change overnight. Baby steps ... that's all anyone can ask!
Chapter six in my book, It's Okay: Let's Get Real About This Thing We Call Parenting, is entitled, 'So Little ... So Wise'. It has stories about a kid asking what a condom is to a child pleading with his mother not to eat his snack while he is in bed. The stories are the 'real' truth about the things in life these little people are willing to ask. Don't miss these great stories and many more. Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more today!
It can be very humorous to recall the many moments our children have 'stumped' us. Definitely, in the moment, we are not as amused as later, but these little people may know the trick to living a purpose filled life. They may actually be smarter than we are on so many different levels. We are constantly telling our children to be honest and upfront. Yet, we are also asking them not to say the truth if it really hurts someone else. How complicated is that?
Yesterday, my husband and I were laughing about a night that stumped us many years and two kids ago. It was a night that after working we were both exhausted. We had two children at the time; our oldest was three and our other one was almost two. I was pregnant with our third child and the only dinner out that I wanted was Valentino's. So ... giving the pregnant mama what she wanted, off to Valentino's we headed.
At a table not too far from ours were two women. They seemed to have the attire of what we might refer to as 'biker chicks'. I feel bad saying that because to be honest, I don't know what they would have referred to themselves as. That cliche may be offensive and if it is, I apologize. Anyway, one of them looked more masculine than the other. I'm all for differences and it didn't bother me in the slightest. It did, however, confuse our almost two-year-old.
He started asking very loudly, "Why does that man have long hair?" We tried to explain quietly that it wasn't a man, but a woman and that we all look different in our own way. Our near two-year-old was anything but satisfied. He seemed to let it go for the moment while we enjoyed our pizza and spaghetti. When it was time for dessert, we had to walk by the table of women yet again and he must have gotten reminded of the nagging question that did not get answered sufficiently. So again, just as my husband and son walked by their table, he asked his question again very aggressively. "DAD, WHY DOES THAT MAN HAVE LONG HAIR?"
We seemed to still be uncomfortable with our parenting experience at the time and so my husband acted as if he didn't hear his son, scooped him up and carried him to the ice cream. He distracted him beautifully and walked a different way to get back to our table. He then moved his chair (so his back was to the woman) so that my son would not be reminded to ask his question again.
I share this story because my son had a good question. He was confused about a 'norm' that he had understood. His question did not have to be offensive. At this point in my parenting, I would feel comfortable to apologize to the woman and let her know that he wasn't familiar with woman who ride motorcycles and let her know how sorry I was that he called her a man. But, instead of doing the right thing, I let my son's terribly honest question embarrass my husband and I. We looked even more rude by just avoiding the very obvious question my son was shouting.
Life is not black and white. It is a mixture of every shade of gray. While this fact is difficult to teach our growing children, it may not be as difficult as we think. Instead of avoiding uncomfortable situations, sometimes we just need to tackle them head on. If we are upfront and honest about our feelings; our embarrassment, guilt, judgment and inadequacy, aren't we teaching our children the most valuable lesson of all? Many times when we avoid our children's questions, we leave them with a skewed perspective. Answering honestly might mean that sometimes we have to admit that we don't know it all. That we aren't sure why things are the way they are. That life is more complicated than we can explain. That only the good Lord up above knows the very reason why things are the way they are.
So, for today, I will try to upfront and honest with my children. I will try not to let uncomfortable moments beat me. After all, learning to deal with the little people that are so wise will help me continue to grow and learn. My dad has been quoted saying, "My kids did a good job of raising me!"
Little people are wise beyond their years. Why don't we laugh more? Why don't we get dirty or jump in the rain puddles. Why can't we let loose a little just to see what fun we can have? In order to answer that, we have to get uncomfortable. We have to step out of the little box that defines us. It's certainly not easy and not something we can change overnight. Baby steps ... that's all anyone can ask!
Chapter six in my book, It's Okay: Let's Get Real About This Thing We Call Parenting, is entitled, 'So Little ... So Wise'. It has stories about a kid asking what a condom is to a child pleading with his mother not to eat his snack while he is in bed. The stories are the 'real' truth about the things in life these little people are willing to ask. Don't miss these great stories and many more. Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more today!
Thursday, April 11, 2013
Parent Confessionals
I need to confess ...
The last chapter in my book is entitled, 'Parent Confessionals.' It highlights mistakes that parents have made that they have to get off their chest in the hopes that they can let go of some of their feelings of guilt, inadequacy or judgment. The very last story in the chapter is one that was submitted by me about my failure as the Tooth Fairy. It's all about the how I tried to start a tradition that was different and was our own.
The Tooth Fairy that visits our house has screwed up royally for my oldest daughter. Not only is she confused, but at times a little devastated. The story in the book talks about how I went from dollars to a unique coin combination to an over-elaborate letter to just not knowing what the hell to leave for a damn tooth. Since I published the book, I have made yet two more errors. Let me try to recount my last two errors and please know that this morning was the topper and I definitely lost Parent of the Year AGAIN!
So my son finally lost his first tooth last month. The first tooth is supposed to be a big deal. My oldest daughter got a $5 bill for her first tooth and assured her brother he would get the same (please note we do NOT give $5 for every tooth ... just the first!). As I went to find a $5 bill to put under his pillow, I could not find one anywhere. It was well after 11:00 pm and I didn't feel like driving to a gas station to conjure up this bill. So ... five $1 bills would have to do. My son was ecstatic but my daughter was stumped. She didn't understand why he would get five $1 bills and not just a $5 bill. She seemed to let it go after a day or two, but I could tell it was eating at her. We convinced her that maybe the Tooth Fairy wanted to do something different for her brother, that she was out of $5 bills or that he possibly had a different Tooth Fairy.
My daughter didn't want to believe that he had a different Fairy because in the ridiculous elaborate letter that was written to her by her Tooth Fairy, she stated that she was really going to try to be the Tooth Fairy for all the kids in our house. So ... I blew it yet again.
Well, this morning was the topper. My daughter came up in tears. She was devastated. She was emotionally distraught. The Tooth Fairy DIDN'T COME! Yes, you heard it right ... I FORGOT to leave my daughter anything under her pillow last night. Talk about screwing up. More lies began to be told (the story in the book is titled 'Inconceivable Lies' because I have been unable to keep up with all my darn lying).
"Maybe she didn't know you moved rooms." My daughter agreed that this could be it. But, still more tears came. "Maybe she got caught in the ice storm last night." My four-year-old assured her sister that the Tooth Fairies wings would freeze and she wouldn't be able to fly. "Maybe she couldn't find your tooth under your three pillows." This one didn't sit well with her since the Tooth Fairy is supposed to know everything.
Anyway, more lies! So, I did what all desperate moms would do. After my daughter went to school (I had her calmed down by this time and ready to enjoy her day), I googled a u-tube video on how to make origami hearts out of dollar bills. If nothing else, my thought was that I could distract her with my amazing folding skills. After watching the video for the third time (I might add that I continued to get Parent of the Year because my two youngest children were being babysat by the TV while I tried to fix my latest blunder), I finally had a menial heart. I made two of them in an attempt to make up for the 'forgotten' night. I then crafted a letter on the computer about the ice storm that kept the Tooth Fairy away and how I hoped my origami hearts made her feel better. I threw in a P.S. about how cool her new room was to try and make her smile! Oh, and then I folded the letter into a heart as well (I may have over-done it yet again).
Well, there you have it. I told more lies today. I am confessing my sins to all of you in the hopes that this event really is okay! I should take my own advice. I'm not perfect, I screw up daily, I make mistakes ... and, It's Okay. If nothing else, we have a new Tooth Fairy tradition. She will leave heart shaped dollars from now on! Maybe I can earn back 'Parent of the Moment' since I am sure to have lost 'Parent of the Year' again for about the third day in a row! It's okay.
Have anything you need to confess? Want to add a story to my next book, That's Okay Too: More Real Stories About This Thing We Call Parenting? You can e-mail me at teresahamilton@itsokaybooks.com or visit my 'share your story' tab on my website, www.itsokaybooks.com!
The last chapter in my book is entitled, 'Parent Confessionals.' It highlights mistakes that parents have made that they have to get off their chest in the hopes that they can let go of some of their feelings of guilt, inadequacy or judgment. The very last story in the chapter is one that was submitted by me about my failure as the Tooth Fairy. It's all about the how I tried to start a tradition that was different and was our own.
The Tooth Fairy that visits our house has screwed up royally for my oldest daughter. Not only is she confused, but at times a little devastated. The story in the book talks about how I went from dollars to a unique coin combination to an over-elaborate letter to just not knowing what the hell to leave for a damn tooth. Since I published the book, I have made yet two more errors. Let me try to recount my last two errors and please know that this morning was the topper and I definitely lost Parent of the Year AGAIN!
So my son finally lost his first tooth last month. The first tooth is supposed to be a big deal. My oldest daughter got a $5 bill for her first tooth and assured her brother he would get the same (please note we do NOT give $5 for every tooth ... just the first!). As I went to find a $5 bill to put under his pillow, I could not find one anywhere. It was well after 11:00 pm and I didn't feel like driving to a gas station to conjure up this bill. So ... five $1 bills would have to do. My son was ecstatic but my daughter was stumped. She didn't understand why he would get five $1 bills and not just a $5 bill. She seemed to let it go after a day or two, but I could tell it was eating at her. We convinced her that maybe the Tooth Fairy wanted to do something different for her brother, that she was out of $5 bills or that he possibly had a different Tooth Fairy.
My daughter didn't want to believe that he had a different Fairy because in the ridiculous elaborate letter that was written to her by her Tooth Fairy, she stated that she was really going to try to be the Tooth Fairy for all the kids in our house. So ... I blew it yet again.
Well, this morning was the topper. My daughter came up in tears. She was devastated. She was emotionally distraught. The Tooth Fairy DIDN'T COME! Yes, you heard it right ... I FORGOT to leave my daughter anything under her pillow last night. Talk about screwing up. More lies began to be told (the story in the book is titled 'Inconceivable Lies' because I have been unable to keep up with all my darn lying).
"Maybe she didn't know you moved rooms." My daughter agreed that this could be it. But, still more tears came. "Maybe she got caught in the ice storm last night." My four-year-old assured her sister that the Tooth Fairies wings would freeze and she wouldn't be able to fly. "Maybe she couldn't find your tooth under your three pillows." This one didn't sit well with her since the Tooth Fairy is supposed to know everything.
Anyway, more lies! So, I did what all desperate moms would do. After my daughter went to school (I had her calmed down by this time and ready to enjoy her day), I googled a u-tube video on how to make origami hearts out of dollar bills. If nothing else, my thought was that I could distract her with my amazing folding skills. After watching the video for the third time (I might add that I continued to get Parent of the Year because my two youngest children were being babysat by the TV while I tried to fix my latest blunder), I finally had a menial heart. I made two of them in an attempt to make up for the 'forgotten' night. I then crafted a letter on the computer about the ice storm that kept the Tooth Fairy away and how I hoped my origami hearts made her feel better. I threw in a P.S. about how cool her new room was to try and make her smile! Oh, and then I folded the letter into a heart as well (I may have over-done it yet again).
Well, there you have it. I told more lies today. I am confessing my sins to all of you in the hopes that this event really is okay! I should take my own advice. I'm not perfect, I screw up daily, I make mistakes ... and, It's Okay. If nothing else, we have a new Tooth Fairy tradition. She will leave heart shaped dollars from now on! Maybe I can earn back 'Parent of the Moment' since I am sure to have lost 'Parent of the Year' again for about the third day in a row! It's okay.
Have anything you need to confess? Want to add a story to my next book, That's Okay Too: More Real Stories About This Thing We Call Parenting? You can e-mail me at teresahamilton@itsokaybooks.com or visit my 'share your story' tab on my website, www.itsokaybooks.com!
Wednesday, April 10, 2013
'Til Death Do Us Part ... At Least Before We Had Kids
Oh, marriage. Isn't it amazing, glorious and downright perfect? Ha, ha ... ha, ha, ha! Marriage is hard. Marriage is frustrating. Marriage is a LOT of work. If we are going to get 'real' about marriage, it is safe to say that some days we are not going to like our spouse. Is that okay? Absolutely. You can't possibly think that being with someone day in and day out, year after year can be all roses. It's okay that some days your spouse will drive you mad. It's okay that some days you will wish for time away. It's okay. In the end, you still love your spouse more than life itself. The world needs to realize that marriage isn't supposed to be perfect. If we embrace that fact, we might enjoy the disasters that plague our married life occasionally!
So, knowing that marriage is hard and not perfect is one thing. It's a whole other ball game to introduce children into the mix. Being married with children creates sleep deprived, sex deprived, crabby, angry individuals who are supposed to love each other until death do them part. Children complicate an already difficult challenge and how on earth are married folks supposed to be happy in love when some days are downright miserable.
One of the chapters in my book, It's Okay: Let's Get Real About This Thing We Call Parenting, addresses the challenge of being married and having kids. It mocks the idea that becoming pregnant or trying to adopt and then raising those very beings is an easy task. The stories in the book highlight how pregnancy changes a woman (not just her body, but also her emotions) and what that does the to relationship between the couple.
My favorite story that I shared in the book is about the night that I came home to my husband eating the crumbs out of a Dorito bag. No biggie, right? WRONG. I had been thinking about those last few chips all day and the jerk had every last crumb sliding down his rotten throat. Saying I broke down is an understatement. Sobs and giant, hot tears came out of the over-sized version of myself. It was ridiculous- but it was what my husband had to deal with when I was pregnant!
Yesterday I blogged about being deprived of sleep. I mentioned that sometimes we do it to ourselves. Well, last night, my husband and I were up until 1:00am. We talked for hours about life and work and the future. Can I tell you how long it has been since we just talked like adults without little people interrupting our every thought or without our phones glued to our faces? It was amazing. We love our crazy house of six, but some days, we miss just being able to be married. We miss being able to go out on date nights without stressing about a sitter. We miss being able to sleep in until noon together. We miss being able to take a trip on a whim because we feel like it. We miss all those things, but wouldn't trade our children for the world.
So, today I am tired. Well, I am exhausted. But, hanging out with my husband and pretending for a few hours that life is all good, was well worth my sagging eyes and the four cups of coffee I have had to wake myself up! For one night there was no whining, no fighting on our end, no stress about what the next day would bring! I'm lucky to stuck with my husband until death do us part (even though some days I'm not going to like him)!
My next book will be entitled, It's Okay: Let's Get Real About This Thing We Call Marriage. I can't wait for people to contribute the ridiculous that happen in a marriage (the annoyances, the fights, the parenting style differences, etc.). Society today has made divorce an easy out. This book will let people know that it's okay, even normal, to struggle through a marriage. It will help people see that if you stick with it, work at it, and love the heck out of your spouse, it will all be okay. If you have a good story, e-mail me at teresahamilton@itsokaybooks.com. Don't miss your chance to share your story and help others. No names are used in the stories and you can earn yourself a free book when it is released!
So, knowing that marriage is hard and not perfect is one thing. It's a whole other ball game to introduce children into the mix. Being married with children creates sleep deprived, sex deprived, crabby, angry individuals who are supposed to love each other until death do them part. Children complicate an already difficult challenge and how on earth are married folks supposed to be happy in love when some days are downright miserable.
One of the chapters in my book, It's Okay: Let's Get Real About This Thing We Call Parenting, addresses the challenge of being married and having kids. It mocks the idea that becoming pregnant or trying to adopt and then raising those very beings is an easy task. The stories in the book highlight how pregnancy changes a woman (not just her body, but also her emotions) and what that does the to relationship between the couple.
My favorite story that I shared in the book is about the night that I came home to my husband eating the crumbs out of a Dorito bag. No biggie, right? WRONG. I had been thinking about those last few chips all day and the jerk had every last crumb sliding down his rotten throat. Saying I broke down is an understatement. Sobs and giant, hot tears came out of the over-sized version of myself. It was ridiculous- but it was what my husband had to deal with when I was pregnant!
Yesterday I blogged about being deprived of sleep. I mentioned that sometimes we do it to ourselves. Well, last night, my husband and I were up until 1:00am. We talked for hours about life and work and the future. Can I tell you how long it has been since we just talked like adults without little people interrupting our every thought or without our phones glued to our faces? It was amazing. We love our crazy house of six, but some days, we miss just being able to be married. We miss being able to go out on date nights without stressing about a sitter. We miss being able to sleep in until noon together. We miss being able to take a trip on a whim because we feel like it. We miss all those things, but wouldn't trade our children for the world.
So, today I am tired. Well, I am exhausted. But, hanging out with my husband and pretending for a few hours that life is all good, was well worth my sagging eyes and the four cups of coffee I have had to wake myself up! For one night there was no whining, no fighting on our end, no stress about what the next day would bring! I'm lucky to stuck with my husband until death do us part (even though some days I'm not going to like him)!
My next book will be entitled, It's Okay: Let's Get Real About This Thing We Call Marriage. I can't wait for people to contribute the ridiculous that happen in a marriage (the annoyances, the fights, the parenting style differences, etc.). Society today has made divorce an easy out. This book will let people know that it's okay, even normal, to struggle through a marriage. It will help people see that if you stick with it, work at it, and love the heck out of your spouse, it will all be okay. If you have a good story, e-mail me at teresahamilton@itsokaybooks.com. Don't miss your chance to share your story and help others. No names are used in the stories and you can earn yourself a free book when it is released!
Tuesday, April 9, 2013
Delirious Decisions Due to Deprivation
Oh, sleep. Where are you some nights? How do I possibly function with so little sleep? Why does the world not know the fog I live in some days? What doctor recommended eight hours of sleep? Darn doctors ... what do they know anyway? They must not have had children of their own!
I suppose it's safe to say that we have all been there, living in a sleepless fog. Maybe it's because you procrastinated and had to stay up all night completing work. Maybe you work nights and have to care for someone during the day. Maybe you have relentless children who would rather do anything than sleep. Maybe you are stressed to the max and your body won't let you give in to the rest you need. Whatever the reason, we have had days where we are missing the very thing our bodies need most- sleep!
When we are lacking the rest we need, our bodies and brains are just not right. They do not act normally like they are suppose to. Emotions seem to flare when we are tired, aches come from everywhere when we are not rested and our thoughts are anything but clear when do not get enough sleep.
What's a person to do? Many people in the world are pushed to the max. There is not time to take a cat-nap, to go to bed earlier or to sleep in during the morning hours. Sometimes we do it to ourselves, but whatever the reason, life becomes SO much more difficult when we are tired.
The fifth chapter in my book is entitled, 'Delirious Decisions Due to Deprivation.' It highlights the crazy things that happen when parents are not rested. Everything from nearly dropping an infant to leaving your car running during an hour-long store visit. These stories are real and unfortunately, they are life. While it's easy to sit back later and laugh at our craziness, at the time it is anything but humorous.
There were mornings when my second child was an infant that I would just look at the clock and cry. Knowing that even if my body would allow me to fall back asleep after the 4:00 am feeding, that my husbands alarm clock would be going off in an hour and then my toddler would be ready to start her day by 6:00 am. This was, of course, after I had already been up for three previous feedings and knew that after all was said and done, I'd still have to be ready to leave for work by 7:20 am.
Now, I am past the late night and early morning feedings. But, I still get woken at least once a night by a child needing a pacifier, or a blanket, or allergy medicine, or a wet bed, or a bad dream, or, or, or! And I hear that as my children grow, it's only going to get more difficult. Instead of being woken up in the middle of the night, I will be awake until the middle of the night worrying about what my children are doing in their teenaged years.
Rest is a must, but sometimes it's just not that easy. Crazy things happen when we are tired. These things range from wearing two different colored shoes to not wearing a coat on a freezing day to forgetting that the groceries are in the back of the car. What crazy things have you done when you were tired? Are you willing to admit to them?
Here's to wishing you all a restful night's sleep tonight (and that your husband doesn't snore as loudly as mine does while I'm tending to our kiddos needs...ha)!
I suppose it's safe to say that we have all been there, living in a sleepless fog. Maybe it's because you procrastinated and had to stay up all night completing work. Maybe you work nights and have to care for someone during the day. Maybe you have relentless children who would rather do anything than sleep. Maybe you are stressed to the max and your body won't let you give in to the rest you need. Whatever the reason, we have had days where we are missing the very thing our bodies need most- sleep!
When we are lacking the rest we need, our bodies and brains are just not right. They do not act normally like they are suppose to. Emotions seem to flare when we are tired, aches come from everywhere when we are not rested and our thoughts are anything but clear when do not get enough sleep.
What's a person to do? Many people in the world are pushed to the max. There is not time to take a cat-nap, to go to bed earlier or to sleep in during the morning hours. Sometimes we do it to ourselves, but whatever the reason, life becomes SO much more difficult when we are tired.
The fifth chapter in my book is entitled, 'Delirious Decisions Due to Deprivation.' It highlights the crazy things that happen when parents are not rested. Everything from nearly dropping an infant to leaving your car running during an hour-long store visit. These stories are real and unfortunately, they are life. While it's easy to sit back later and laugh at our craziness, at the time it is anything but humorous.
There were mornings when my second child was an infant that I would just look at the clock and cry. Knowing that even if my body would allow me to fall back asleep after the 4:00 am feeding, that my husbands alarm clock would be going off in an hour and then my toddler would be ready to start her day by 6:00 am. This was, of course, after I had already been up for three previous feedings and knew that after all was said and done, I'd still have to be ready to leave for work by 7:20 am.
Now, I am past the late night and early morning feedings. But, I still get woken at least once a night by a child needing a pacifier, or a blanket, or allergy medicine, or a wet bed, or a bad dream, or, or, or! And I hear that as my children grow, it's only going to get more difficult. Instead of being woken up in the middle of the night, I will be awake until the middle of the night worrying about what my children are doing in their teenaged years.
Rest is a must, but sometimes it's just not that easy. Crazy things happen when we are tired. These things range from wearing two different colored shoes to not wearing a coat on a freezing day to forgetting that the groceries are in the back of the car. What crazy things have you done when you were tired? Are you willing to admit to them?
Here's to wishing you all a restful night's sleep tonight (and that your husband doesn't snore as loudly as mine does while I'm tending to our kiddos needs...ha)!
Monday, April 8, 2013
I Do Impact Others!
This will be short and sweet ... it's really just a reminder to myself that I make an incredible impact on my family. Some days I don't see the joy in the family I am blessed with. But, for today, I did! We had an amazing morning. It went so well, that I started to question what was different about this particular morning. The only thing I could come up with is ME!
Today was no better than any other day. We got up late. I had four tired kids that didn't want to get out of bed. I had an eight-year-old who forgot to do her homework. I had a six-year-old who forgot to take his backpack to school. I had a four-year-old who took too long to get ready and had to eat after the school drop-off. I had a one-year-old with snot caked in her hair. Really ... it was normal. But, every minute of it was calm and enjoyable. It was this way because of me.
There are so many mornings that I create my own madness. Why? Heck, I don't know. All the issues that come up everyday are so very minor in the scheme of life. Why can't I remember that everyday? Why can't I stay calm and collected so that our days can be full of bliss rather than full of crabbiness (created by the crazy mother)?
Well, I will tell you why. I am not perfect. It's okay that we've had some rough mornings because of me. It's okay that I'm not always the calm and collected person that I was this morning. It's okay that I realized today how much my mood affects my family. I haven't ruined my children. They just know I am human. And, after today, I can strive to have more mornings like this one.
Great days are sometimes rare. It's okay. This great morning is one that make me better for the next few mornings. I will forget about my 'ah ha' today. I will have a crabby day soon. But, for now, I'm going to appreciate the fact that we had a great day, and I had something to do with that!
Today was no better than any other day. We got up late. I had four tired kids that didn't want to get out of bed. I had an eight-year-old who forgot to do her homework. I had a six-year-old who forgot to take his backpack to school. I had a four-year-old who took too long to get ready and had to eat after the school drop-off. I had a one-year-old with snot caked in her hair. Really ... it was normal. But, every minute of it was calm and enjoyable. It was this way because of me.
There are so many mornings that I create my own madness. Why? Heck, I don't know. All the issues that come up everyday are so very minor in the scheme of life. Why can't I remember that everyday? Why can't I stay calm and collected so that our days can be full of bliss rather than full of crabbiness (created by the crazy mother)?
Well, I will tell you why. I am not perfect. It's okay that we've had some rough mornings because of me. It's okay that I'm not always the calm and collected person that I was this morning. It's okay that I realized today how much my mood affects my family. I haven't ruined my children. They just know I am human. And, after today, I can strive to have more mornings like this one.
Great days are sometimes rare. It's okay. This great morning is one that make me better for the next few mornings. I will forget about my 'ah ha' today. I will have a crabby day soon. But, for now, I'm going to appreciate the fact that we had a great day, and I had something to do with that!
Sunday, April 7, 2013
My Life Is Nothing But Pee, Poop and Puke
One of the chapters in my book, It's Okay: Let's Get Real About This Thing We Call Parenting, is all about the disgusting, revolting, gut-wrenching fluids that make up parenting. I think it's ironic that we start and end our life in diapers ... what's the luck?
It's safe to say that before you become a parent, you have no idea what awful things you are going to encounter. The worst of all these things has to do with the three P's! Pee, poop and puke. Only as a parent, it's not your pee, your poop or your puke. The little person that used to be the most precious, sweet smelling thing you've ever laid your nose on is now producing fluids that look and smell like they come from a grown man.
I once got a picture sent to me on my phone of the most beautiful diamond ring ... covered in slimy, brownish-green poop! How does it happen? I mean, I know, shit happens, but WHY does it happen when you least expect it to and when you are least prepared?
Last week, I was lucky enough to have a day full of pee. I say lucky, because I know that it could have been much worse had it been poop or puke. It all started when I just needed to pick up copies from a local print shop (I won't mention the store name to save myself a little pride). Anyway, my little one napped right up until the moment I needed to pick up my preschooler. And from there, we zip straight to the elementary school to pick up my older two children. There was really no time for a diaper change and it didn't matter because, like I mentioned, this was a 'quick' trip.
Well, after dealing with my karate-chopping angry preschooler, I managed to start the van. You see, it was one of the first beautiful days of spring and our neighbor girl asked my oldest daughter to go to the park. I just needed to pick up some copies and then we were planning to meet up with them. I sent my oldest away, only to have my four-year-old freak out about not being able to go. I dealt with her fit the best way I could and convinced her that the copy shop would be a treat!
We made it to the store and I instructed the children to take a book in with them. It would only be a minute and there is a table right by the check out counter, so they could read their books while I got my papers. Easy enough, right? Well, that four-year-old was still pretty pissed off at me and was going to anything but sit and read (or anything except what I wanted her to do). She was pounding on a computer. The other two were reading, so I decided to ignore.
There was someone in front of me and then two other documents of mine still had to be printed. I had a $10 off coupon that I presented to the woman. All this is happening while the one-year-old tired of reading her book and decided to pound on the computer next to the computer her sister was pounding on. I decided I could apologize later for any damage they had done ... I just needed the damn copies. It was then that my bill totaled $27.30. In order to save the $10, I had to spend $30. So, in my quick haste, I said I was going to grab a printer cartridge. We had been out of colored ink for well over two months (which was why I was there in the first place), so I checked on the kids again and jetted to grab the cartridge.
When I returned, I noticed there was a puddle on the chair where my one-year-old had been sitting prior to pounding on the computer she was currently at. There was also something all over the floor below. Shit ... well, not shit, but definitely pee. The woman was still working on my bill, so I quickly ran over and tied my daughters coat around her waste (we didn't need to make any bigger of a scene that we already were). I then instructed my seven-year-old to find out where a bathroom was and get me some paper towels.
He returned just as I was finishing my payment. Phew. Made it. Cleaned up the pee and headed out the door. The computers looked to still be functioning, we only ran into two people as we were heading out the door, my daughter only broke one of the two sliding doors (she was still pissy and waited until we were out and the sliding door had closed before she rammed into it trying to get it to open more quickly ... the store clerk was very nice and assured me he could fix it) and to make myself feel better about it all ... my mantra became ... "pee is sterile, pee is sterile, pee is sterile."
Note to new parents- change your damn kids diaper when he/she wakes up from a nap. Note to parents with four children (myself included)- quit being so damn lazy and cheap and change your kids diaper after nap, even if he/she doesn't feel that wet!
Oh, and to top the pee off that day, my four-year-old came in around 2:00am. She had wet the bed. Actually, she had deposited about eight gallons of pee in her bed and her entire room reeked of urine. It wasn't even one of those that you can throw a towel over and clean up in the morning or one where you can salvage the blanket they sleep with every night. Oh now, the pillow, along with 80% of the bed, her comforter and blanket were completely soaked.
Another note to new parents- have your four-year-old go to the bathroom before bed. And a note to parents with multiple children- just because your daughter pees before bath time, don't be so damn annoyed with the bedtime routine that you skip the most important part of having her pee again.
Do you have a good poop, pee or puke story that cannot go untold? Tell it! Write it out and e-mail me at teresa.hamilton@itsokaybooks.com or go to my website and click on the 'share your story' tab. Your story will be sent directly to my e-mail. No names are used and my second book already has some great stories about the three P's! Don't miss your chance to get your amazing dirty story told!
It's safe to say that before you become a parent, you have no idea what awful things you are going to encounter. The worst of all these things has to do with the three P's! Pee, poop and puke. Only as a parent, it's not your pee, your poop or your puke. The little person that used to be the most precious, sweet smelling thing you've ever laid your nose on is now producing fluids that look and smell like they come from a grown man.
I once got a picture sent to me on my phone of the most beautiful diamond ring ... covered in slimy, brownish-green poop! How does it happen? I mean, I know, shit happens, but WHY does it happen when you least expect it to and when you are least prepared?
Last week, I was lucky enough to have a day full of pee. I say lucky, because I know that it could have been much worse had it been poop or puke. It all started when I just needed to pick up copies from a local print shop (I won't mention the store name to save myself a little pride). Anyway, my little one napped right up until the moment I needed to pick up my preschooler. And from there, we zip straight to the elementary school to pick up my older two children. There was really no time for a diaper change and it didn't matter because, like I mentioned, this was a 'quick' trip.
Well, after dealing with my karate-chopping angry preschooler, I managed to start the van. You see, it was one of the first beautiful days of spring and our neighbor girl asked my oldest daughter to go to the park. I just needed to pick up some copies and then we were planning to meet up with them. I sent my oldest away, only to have my four-year-old freak out about not being able to go. I dealt with her fit the best way I could and convinced her that the copy shop would be a treat!
We made it to the store and I instructed the children to take a book in with them. It would only be a minute and there is a table right by the check out counter, so they could read their books while I got my papers. Easy enough, right? Well, that four-year-old was still pretty pissed off at me and was going to anything but sit and read (or anything except what I wanted her to do). She was pounding on a computer. The other two were reading, so I decided to ignore.
There was someone in front of me and then two other documents of mine still had to be printed. I had a $10 off coupon that I presented to the woman. All this is happening while the one-year-old tired of reading her book and decided to pound on the computer next to the computer her sister was pounding on. I decided I could apologize later for any damage they had done ... I just needed the damn copies. It was then that my bill totaled $27.30. In order to save the $10, I had to spend $30. So, in my quick haste, I said I was going to grab a printer cartridge. We had been out of colored ink for well over two months (which was why I was there in the first place), so I checked on the kids again and jetted to grab the cartridge.
When I returned, I noticed there was a puddle on the chair where my one-year-old had been sitting prior to pounding on the computer she was currently at. There was also something all over the floor below. Shit ... well, not shit, but definitely pee. The woman was still working on my bill, so I quickly ran over and tied my daughters coat around her waste (we didn't need to make any bigger of a scene that we already were). I then instructed my seven-year-old to find out where a bathroom was and get me some paper towels.
He returned just as I was finishing my payment. Phew. Made it. Cleaned up the pee and headed out the door. The computers looked to still be functioning, we only ran into two people as we were heading out the door, my daughter only broke one of the two sliding doors (she was still pissy and waited until we were out and the sliding door had closed before she rammed into it trying to get it to open more quickly ... the store clerk was very nice and assured me he could fix it) and to make myself feel better about it all ... my mantra became ... "pee is sterile, pee is sterile, pee is sterile."
Note to new parents- change your damn kids diaper when he/she wakes up from a nap. Note to parents with four children (myself included)- quit being so damn lazy and cheap and change your kids diaper after nap, even if he/she doesn't feel that wet!
Oh, and to top the pee off that day, my four-year-old came in around 2:00am. She had wet the bed. Actually, she had deposited about eight gallons of pee in her bed and her entire room reeked of urine. It wasn't even one of those that you can throw a towel over and clean up in the morning or one where you can salvage the blanket they sleep with every night. Oh now, the pillow, along with 80% of the bed, her comforter and blanket were completely soaked.
Another note to new parents- have your four-year-old go to the bathroom before bed. And a note to parents with multiple children- just because your daughter pees before bath time, don't be so damn annoyed with the bedtime routine that you skip the most important part of having her pee again.
Do you have a good poop, pee or puke story that cannot go untold? Tell it! Write it out and e-mail me at teresa.hamilton@itsokaybooks.com or go to my website and click on the 'share your story' tab. Your story will be sent directly to my e-mail. No names are used and my second book already has some great stories about the three P's! Don't miss your chance to get your amazing dirty story told!
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Here's One For the Books ...
Well, yesterday I blogged about one of my chapters in my book, 'But, the books said...". I highlighted that you can't always trust the books and have to rather trust yourself and your knowledge of your own life. I suppose that I should have taken my own advice yesterday afternoon in order to avoid the catastrophe that occurred.
You know how you read that your children need at least one hour of exercise every day. There is all this research out there saying that you need to get your kids off the couch and moving. And then of course, there is the adult literature that stresses the importance of staying healthy and active. Well, I also happened to be reading up on my friend's Facebook post that highlighted a March challenge. The challenge was to run a mile everyday for a month. Now, I'm not oblivious to the fact that it is April, but I thought this challenge was one I could put on myself. And with Spring finally springing up in our area, I decided it would be good to include my four children in this monthly adventure. Again, I must stress, that I DID NOT use my best judgment.
So, after school, I let the kids know my plan to try to run a mile a day for a month. They could ride their bikes and enjoy our new weather. They were excited. I might also add that my four-year-old learned how to ride without her training wheels just two days ago. But, I figured I could put the eight-year-old, six-year-old and four-year-old on their bikes and I could push the one-year-old in the stroller. After depositing the 10,000 things that accumulate during the school day away and grabbing a quick cheese stick snack, we headed out the door.
It was then that the first issue arose ... our dog. Why in the hell would Santa bring a dog to my son this year? What was Santa thinking? Anyway, he was whining and barking and making quite a scene. So, my new plan was to have the three older children on bikes, the little on in the stroller and the dog on the leash. We were about to set off when the second issue came up ... the running stroller had flat tires. Could this possibly be a sign that I need to get off my fat butt? The stroller hadn't been used in well over a year (yikes) and, of course, the compressor was not put together so that I could air up the tires. I asked my six-year-old son how to put it back together and he told me to just hook the hose up to the thingy sticking out. Well, his bright idea was great, but it didn't work. So, I sulked over the neighbor to ask for help. His compressor was put away because they are moving (I'm sure you are thinking it's because of the annoying neighbor with four kids and a barking dog, but it's really not). Anyway, he came over to save the day. He hooked up the compressor, aired up the tires and we were ready yet again.
Off we went. I managed to help my newly-two-wheeled-rider get started and she made it about five feet. We got her up and moving again and she made it to the end of the block. The puppy was pulling my arm out of my shoulder socket, but I wasn't going to let him spoil my one-mile run. We got started again while crossing the first street. The bike trail was only a half block away and then it would be smooth sailing!
NOT! My four-year-old turned her wheel slightly, lost control and did a face plant. There were skid marks across her forehead and nose and her finger was missing a fourth of her nail. The dripping blood did not help her screams of horror, nor did the dog wrapping himself around her with the leash. I somehow managed to make it back to our house. I sent my son back up to get the bike that was left behind and I worked to get the head and finger put back together.
After a sucker, some ice and some band-aids, we had the house calm. So much for my mile run! It was then that their dad arrived home from work. It was also the moment that I saw the yellow sheet on my counter. The sheet that's for making bad choices at school. It was our first of the year. My son got in trouble for farting on another students head. The next 45 minutes were taken up by the discussion of what really occurred at school and me continuously eye-balling my husband so that he would keep his damn smirk to himself. Once the paper was taken care of and the discussion was complete, my husband busted a gut. Dear God, how many children am I raising? I suppose I should be thankful that he waited until my son left the room. Farting and giggling is a normal occurrence at our house and often the commotion is led by my husband. I guess my son is having a hard lesson in learning where you can get away with things and where you can't!
Anyway, after all that, it was dinner time and obviously I hadn't had time to put anything together. We had spent Lent without fast food or eating out, so we decided it would be a good night to go out. And, can you guess where the children wanted to go? Yes, that's right ... McDonald's. So much for my month of health. In order to salvage my day somehow, we decided to ride our bikes to McDonald's. It's about a mile away. At least I would get some exercise!
We looked like a darn three-ring-circus. But, the three older kids made it on their bikes without any issues and my husband and I enjoyed a minute or two of conversation while walking and pushing the stroller. Overall, it was a success. We even managed to talk the four-year-old out of pooping in someone's lawn half-way home. Apparently, the grease did a number on her tummy.
So, exercise is important. It's just kind of difficult sometimes to find productive ways to get it in when your family consists of four kids between the ages of two and eight! Maybe there's a book for that one:)
You know how you read that your children need at least one hour of exercise every day. There is all this research out there saying that you need to get your kids off the couch and moving. And then of course, there is the adult literature that stresses the importance of staying healthy and active. Well, I also happened to be reading up on my friend's Facebook post that highlighted a March challenge. The challenge was to run a mile everyday for a month. Now, I'm not oblivious to the fact that it is April, but I thought this challenge was one I could put on myself. And with Spring finally springing up in our area, I decided it would be good to include my four children in this monthly adventure. Again, I must stress, that I DID NOT use my best judgment.
So, after school, I let the kids know my plan to try to run a mile a day for a month. They could ride their bikes and enjoy our new weather. They were excited. I might also add that my four-year-old learned how to ride without her training wheels just two days ago. But, I figured I could put the eight-year-old, six-year-old and four-year-old on their bikes and I could push the one-year-old in the stroller. After depositing the 10,000 things that accumulate during the school day away and grabbing a quick cheese stick snack, we headed out the door.
It was then that the first issue arose ... our dog. Why in the hell would Santa bring a dog to my son this year? What was Santa thinking? Anyway, he was whining and barking and making quite a scene. So, my new plan was to have the three older children on bikes, the little on in the stroller and the dog on the leash. We were about to set off when the second issue came up ... the running stroller had flat tires. Could this possibly be a sign that I need to get off my fat butt? The stroller hadn't been used in well over a year (yikes) and, of course, the compressor was not put together so that I could air up the tires. I asked my six-year-old son how to put it back together and he told me to just hook the hose up to the thingy sticking out. Well, his bright idea was great, but it didn't work. So, I sulked over the neighbor to ask for help. His compressor was put away because they are moving (I'm sure you are thinking it's because of the annoying neighbor with four kids and a barking dog, but it's really not). Anyway, he came over to save the day. He hooked up the compressor, aired up the tires and we were ready yet again.
Off we went. I managed to help my newly-two-wheeled-rider get started and she made it about five feet. We got her up and moving again and she made it to the end of the block. The puppy was pulling my arm out of my shoulder socket, but I wasn't going to let him spoil my one-mile run. We got started again while crossing the first street. The bike trail was only a half block away and then it would be smooth sailing!
NOT! My four-year-old turned her wheel slightly, lost control and did a face plant. There were skid marks across her forehead and nose and her finger was missing a fourth of her nail. The dripping blood did not help her screams of horror, nor did the dog wrapping himself around her with the leash. I somehow managed to make it back to our house. I sent my son back up to get the bike that was left behind and I worked to get the head and finger put back together.
After a sucker, some ice and some band-aids, we had the house calm. So much for my mile run! It was then that their dad arrived home from work. It was also the moment that I saw the yellow sheet on my counter. The sheet that's for making bad choices at school. It was our first of the year. My son got in trouble for farting on another students head. The next 45 minutes were taken up by the discussion of what really occurred at school and me continuously eye-balling my husband so that he would keep his damn smirk to himself. Once the paper was taken care of and the discussion was complete, my husband busted a gut. Dear God, how many children am I raising? I suppose I should be thankful that he waited until my son left the room. Farting and giggling is a normal occurrence at our house and often the commotion is led by my husband. I guess my son is having a hard lesson in learning where you can get away with things and where you can't!
Anyway, after all that, it was dinner time and obviously I hadn't had time to put anything together. We had spent Lent without fast food or eating out, so we decided it would be a good night to go out. And, can you guess where the children wanted to go? Yes, that's right ... McDonald's. So much for my month of health. In order to salvage my day somehow, we decided to ride our bikes to McDonald's. It's about a mile away. At least I would get some exercise!
We looked like a darn three-ring-circus. But, the three older kids made it on their bikes without any issues and my husband and I enjoyed a minute or two of conversation while walking and pushing the stroller. Overall, it was a success. We even managed to talk the four-year-old out of pooping in someone's lawn half-way home. Apparently, the grease did a number on her tummy.
So, exercise is important. It's just kind of difficult sometimes to find productive ways to get it in when your family consists of four kids between the ages of two and eight! Maybe there's a book for that one:)
Wednesday, April 3, 2013
But, The Book Said ...
How do the books make it seem so easy? Why when we read something new do we assume that we should be able to do it exactly like the author suggests? The continual process of beating ourselves up comes when we read something that we feel we should be able to do just like the books suggest ... and then, BAM, we fail again. Something inevitably goes wrong and we are unable to make our life look just like it's supposed to. We are unable to 'fix' whatever problem has been plaguing us.
Life is not a quick fix. Parenting, FOR SURE, does not have a play book that gives you the minute-by-minute strategies for how to handle the issues that arise daily or hourly. Sometimes, we have to take a glorified minute as a success.
One of the chapters in my book addresses parenting books. What parent hasn't sought out a book or two or 100 to fix the limitations that exist in his/her family. I've done it more times than I can count. I will read and try to change our routine or add a strategy that is supposed to work like magic. But, in the end, I realize that there is no 'magic' way to fix our lives and make them perfect. Our lives will not be perfect. My children will not be perfect. The books can definitely help, and offer ideas for how to get a grip on certain angles in our life, but I cannot live by the books. I have to live within my world and my family dynamics.
I believe that resources are critical to make your life a success. I know that books and articles and how-to-guides exist to make me the best me I can be. But, I have to take the research and mesh it with what is already happening in my world. I have to decipher what strategies will work for me. It's okay to adapt and adjust what I read to make it fit my needs.
The books don't know you or your family, but they do have great ideas. It's important to realize that the only person who knows what is best for you and your kids- is you. You are the expert. You are the author of your own life book. You get to decide how to take the pieces of advice that are given to you and either make a chapter out of them or set them aside in a drawer to go through later.
Keep reading. Keep talking to others. Keep trying to be the best you can be. But, if you or someone you know isn't living life by the 'books,' just remember that life doesn't fit neatly into a cute little box. It's ugly and hard and never like you expect. It's okay to be different and to do things different, as long as it is what is best for you and your family!
Life is not a quick fix. Parenting, FOR SURE, does not have a play book that gives you the minute-by-minute strategies for how to handle the issues that arise daily or hourly. Sometimes, we have to take a glorified minute as a success.
One of the chapters in my book addresses parenting books. What parent hasn't sought out a book or two or 100 to fix the limitations that exist in his/her family. I've done it more times than I can count. I will read and try to change our routine or add a strategy that is supposed to work like magic. But, in the end, I realize that there is no 'magic' way to fix our lives and make them perfect. Our lives will not be perfect. My children will not be perfect. The books can definitely help, and offer ideas for how to get a grip on certain angles in our life, but I cannot live by the books. I have to live within my world and my family dynamics.
I believe that resources are critical to make your life a success. I know that books and articles and how-to-guides exist to make me the best me I can be. But, I have to take the research and mesh it with what is already happening in my world. I have to decipher what strategies will work for me. It's okay to adapt and adjust what I read to make it fit my needs.
The books don't know you or your family, but they do have great ideas. It's important to realize that the only person who knows what is best for you and your kids- is you. You are the expert. You are the author of your own life book. You get to decide how to take the pieces of advice that are given to you and either make a chapter out of them or set them aside in a drawer to go through later.
Keep reading. Keep talking to others. Keep trying to be the best you can be. But, if you or someone you know isn't living life by the 'books,' just remember that life doesn't fit neatly into a cute little box. It's ugly and hard and never like you expect. It's okay to be different and to do things different, as long as it is what is best for you and your family!
Tuesday, April 2, 2013
I'll Never
What have you said you'd never do that you are now doing? I'm sure if you are willing to admit to them, there would be several. I'm not just talking about parenting, but about life. We look around at others and if we are not wishing we had what they had, we are judging them and saying, "I'll never..."! It's crazy how easy it is to let those two nasty words roll off our tongues. We have all been guilty of it. And it's not as if we are saying those words kindly. Usually we are saying them with disgust. Rest assured, you are not alone in your words. We have ALL said, "I'll never" at one point in our lives. It's okay.
It's okay that we didn't know what curve balls life would throw at us. It's okay that we didn't realize how difficult some things really are. It's okay that we may have judged too quickly. It's okay. We live and we learn. Hindsight is always 20/20. We can all improve and do better. And the good Lord only knows that we realize we may have thought we were above the things that are now common place in our lives.
If we look into the parenting world for a second, we realize that truly believe we will be the perfect parent (that is ... until we actually become one). Parents get the brunt of the 'I'll Never' world. From the time we are wee little tikes, we start saying the things we will never do. You may have even told your parents a time or two the things that you would NEVER do so that you wouldn't turn out anything like them. Oh, how many of us would like to eat those words we said to our parents ... we just never knew what it would be like to be in their shoes.
The list of things we said we would never do is probably too long to count. It's okay. I'm learning as I go along to whisper my 'I'll never' statements to myself, rather than shout them from roof top like I used to. I do things now I told my parents I'd never do. I do things now that my husband and I swore we'd never do before we had kids. It happens. It's okay.
The first chapter in my book, It's Okay: Let's Get Real About This Thing We Call Parenting, is titled 'I'll Never'. It has ten real stories from people who admitted to doing the things they said they'd never do. It's honest and true. And, kudos to them for sharing. It's hard to admit to failing a little. But, really, in the end, it's okay to do the things we said we'd never do. Especially if it makes life a little easier to weather in that desperate moment!
My book is now available for purchase on Amazon and the CreateSpace eStore. You can be linked to either from my website, www.itsokaybooks.com!
It's okay that we didn't know what curve balls life would throw at us. It's okay that we didn't realize how difficult some things really are. It's okay that we may have judged too quickly. It's okay. We live and we learn. Hindsight is always 20/20. We can all improve and do better. And the good Lord only knows that we realize we may have thought we were above the things that are now common place in our lives.
If we look into the parenting world for a second, we realize that truly believe we will be the perfect parent (that is ... until we actually become one). Parents get the brunt of the 'I'll Never' world. From the time we are wee little tikes, we start saying the things we will never do. You may have even told your parents a time or two the things that you would NEVER do so that you wouldn't turn out anything like them. Oh, how many of us would like to eat those words we said to our parents ... we just never knew what it would be like to be in their shoes.
The list of things we said we would never do is probably too long to count. It's okay. I'm learning as I go along to whisper my 'I'll never' statements to myself, rather than shout them from roof top like I used to. I do things now I told my parents I'd never do. I do things now that my husband and I swore we'd never do before we had kids. It happens. It's okay.
The first chapter in my book, It's Okay: Let's Get Real About This Thing We Call Parenting, is titled 'I'll Never'. It has ten real stories from people who admitted to doing the things they said they'd never do. It's honest and true. And, kudos to them for sharing. It's hard to admit to failing a little. But, really, in the end, it's okay to do the things we said we'd never do. Especially if it makes life a little easier to weather in that desperate moment!
My book is now available for purchase on Amazon and the CreateSpace eStore. You can be linked to either from my website, www.itsokaybooks.com!
Monday, April 1, 2013
The Grass Will Continue To Always Be Greener On The Other Side
Points to Ponder #10- The grass will continue to always be greener on the other side
Isn't it funny how life works? You look around and you start to say, "If only..."! If only what? Your life is your life. You can't change the 'you' that God created. You can't completely erase every part of your history that put you where you are today. When are we going to just be happy with what we have and who we are? We live in a society that makes you think you need to do it better and have it all (and then post it all on Facebook).
We never really know what is going on in other people's world. We never really know if we had what they had if it would make our life any better than what it already is. We can continue the cycle of wishing we had what others had, or we can stop beating ourselves up and just appreciate what is ours. If we appreciate what is ours, we have to appreciate it ALL ... the good, the bad and the downright ugly.
I'm not saying we should give up improving our life. I'm not saying we should stop trying make our life the best it can be. What I am saying is that we need to stop wishing for what others have. We need to stop assuming that everyone else has it better than we do. At some point we just have to be content with the life that has been given to us.
The saying, "The grass is always greener on the other side," is only partly true. Because chances are, if you get into that lawn and really look around, it is going to have just as many flaws and issues as the very lawn you can call your own. Take time to water your lawn, weed your lawn and give your lawn the love it really needs. Your grass will perk up. Your weeds won't seem as overwhelming. And you might just be content to stay with the grass you have rather than trying to take over your neighbor's!
Love yourself- all of yourself. Even your issues exist for a reason. Take them in stride. Do the best you can. Be the best you can be. And STOP comparing your life to others. You were blessed with your life for a reason. Take time to figure out what that reason was and foster the heck out it! It will perk up:)
Isn't it funny how life works? You look around and you start to say, "If only..."! If only what? Your life is your life. You can't change the 'you' that God created. You can't completely erase every part of your history that put you where you are today. When are we going to just be happy with what we have and who we are? We live in a society that makes you think you need to do it better and have it all (and then post it all on Facebook).
We never really know what is going on in other people's world. We never really know if we had what they had if it would make our life any better than what it already is. We can continue the cycle of wishing we had what others had, or we can stop beating ourselves up and just appreciate what is ours. If we appreciate what is ours, we have to appreciate it ALL ... the good, the bad and the downright ugly.
I'm not saying we should give up improving our life. I'm not saying we should stop trying make our life the best it can be. What I am saying is that we need to stop wishing for what others have. We need to stop assuming that everyone else has it better than we do. At some point we just have to be content with the life that has been given to us.
The saying, "The grass is always greener on the other side," is only partly true. Because chances are, if you get into that lawn and really look around, it is going to have just as many flaws and issues as the very lawn you can call your own. Take time to water your lawn, weed your lawn and give your lawn the love it really needs. Your grass will perk up. Your weeds won't seem as overwhelming. And you might just be content to stay with the grass you have rather than trying to take over your neighbor's!
Love yourself- all of yourself. Even your issues exist for a reason. Take them in stride. Do the best you can. Be the best you can be. And STOP comparing your life to others. You were blessed with your life for a reason. Take time to figure out what that reason was and foster the heck out it! It will perk up:)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)