Blessings In Disguise

Don't be fooled by the dark clouds or the random down pours of rain.  Hidden up there between it all is an amazing blessing just waiting for it's chance to shine through.  Some might complain that we haven't had summer weather yet.  Some might be tired of the six nights of storms that have continued to bust through our area.  But, we haven't had any flooding in our area (other areas are not so lucky), our flowers are in full bloom, the grass is as green as green could be (without an ounce of our own water) and then tonight there was a miracle.  It was not just an ordinary rainbow that blessed our community ... it was the brightest, fullest, double-rainbow I have ever seen.

The kids had just finished their showers.  Two of them were still in towels.  I yelled for them all to come.  We stepped out on the deck and for about five minutes, we all just watched in awe.  There were comments about, "how happy the Leprechauns must be," and about "how much gold there must be since there were TWO rainbows."  Rain sprinkled down on us and smiles spread widely across all our faces.

You might think I have a spoiler alert now to share.  That's what I usually do; spoil the amazing stories with a mood-crashing event.  Really the only thing that happened was my son getting so excited he pulled his towel wide open and flashed the world.  This only made my smile grow bigger.  Chuckles came from everyone on our deck and probably other houses that witnessed the event.  But, tonight there was nothing to spoil our 'rainbow moment'.

Summer has only been here for three days.  We have had some unusual weather patterns.  We have had some adjustments to all being home together.  We have had plenty of 'it's okay' moments already.  Tonight on the deck, though, there was sheer excitement for the joy of Mother Nature.  There were no mean words shared, no sibling-rivalry, no thrown toys or awful looks.  There was a memory in the making!

Tomorrow we head out on a short vacation.  We get to celebrate love at a wedding, we get to celebrate success at a graduation party, we get to explore the amazing Mall of America.  But, I'm sure the memory in the making will take place in the ... you guessed it ... HOTEL POOL!  We will have struggling moments.  We will find that 'getting there ISN'T half the fun'!  But, again, there will be plenty of blessings in disguise.  It's just up to me to find them all!

Here's to you finding a blessing hiding in your life.  It will pop out when you least expect.  Be ready so you don't miss the joyful 'rainbow moment' it has to offer.  

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'.

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

Don't want to miss a blog? Sign up to receive e-mail notification.

 

Change Is Hard On Everyone

There is one thing you can count on in life and that is that nothing ever stays the same.  People grow, communities change, goals shift and season after season no weather pattern is consistent.  Just when you have a good life sync, something happens; something changes.  That is totally life.  And some times, it totally stinks.

Changes sometimes create amazing opportunities or new chances.  But, even with the wonder and marvel of grand new things, the change that occurs creates stress on everyone involved.  Some people are blessed with a strength for being flexible and adaptable.  This isn't the case for most of the human population; including me!

Summer is upon us.  School is out!  The pool is open.  Life is wonderful ... right?  Well, all this change is excellent, but it is also hard to deal with.  Routines are no longer consistent, bed time is no longer dark, mornings are lazy.  Again, this can be wonderful, but it can also be a challenge that kids and parents aren't quite ready for.

Why is that when we are crazy busy, all we want is some down time.  Then, as soon as the down time hits, we want to busy again?  Why is there no happy-medium?  We will be sick and tired of rushing and always entertaining people and then as soon as there is a free day or a free evening, we feel all alone.  Human emotions are so strange.

Whatever change you may be dealing with, I can only imagine that it is at least a tiny bit stressful.  I'm going to encourage you (well, okay, I'm going to encourage myself) to take it all in stride.  Try to find some things that remain consistent.  Try not to let the moments of shifted routines or down time overwhelm you.  Find a new hobby or a healthy habit.  Remind yourself that 'it's okay' moments will happen more often in the face of change.  These moments may leave you doubting yourself or the opportunities small changes can create.  Take on each day with as much force as you can muster.  

I got some looks today as I forced our four children out the door.  First looks came at the bank.  Each of my four children got to 'cash in' their change and dollars for bigger bills.  We are heading to MN for a wedding and they are excited to spend some money at the Mall of America.  While it's wonderful they had this opportunity, the five people in line behind us did not welcome the time it takes to cash out four small children.  We then headed to the YMCA.  This went off without a hitch; my kids to daycare and me to a workout class.  Unfortunately the hitch broke when I couldn't find my keys as we were trying to leave.  I walked with my two-year-old through a yoga class, only to unsuccessfully not find my lost keys.  The silver lining ... I had a spare.

Then to Wal-Mart.  Need I say more?  Plus we got stuck in line behind some cashier trouble and me and my four squirrely monkeys waited our turn as patiently as we could.  But, we made it.  Looks and all, we made it!  Home for lunch and nap and a plan to hit the pool later.

It's only 1:34 pm and I'm already exhausted.  Summer is here.  It will be amazing.  We will just all have to work together to find a routine that helps us all sync with summer (and with each other).  I've reminded my kids several times today that we have ALL summer together and today is only our first day.  So ... they should try to be a little nicer to one another.  I'm going to try to take my own advice as well:)

Here's to your day!  Here's to your changes!  Wishing you luck on whatever road you are traveling.  Remember, 'It's Okay' not to enjoy the whole trip.  It's the wonderful memories made along the way that matter.

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay.'

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

Don't want to miss a blog? Sign up to receive e-mail notification.

Find Your Happy Place!

Last week after receiving a stationary set from a friend, I loved the sayings to much that I have been blogging about them.  The third and final pad of Hallmark stationary featuring Life Is Good quotes could not go unshared ... "Find your happy place."  The other two, "Life is a journey.  Bring comfy shoes." and "The secret to life is enjoying the ride."  Each of these three sayings very much fit the 'It's Okay' philosophy.  We will all continue to struggle through this thing called life.  We will all continue to have moments that are not our finest.  The important thing to remember through difficult times, is that more often than not, things turn out okay.

Life will produce some amazing moments where we stand in awe of the events taking place.  It will also produce moments where we can't comprehend why things are the way they are.  Good times and bad, it's helpful to keep a positive perspective.  It's great to be able to laugh at yourself.  It's critical to find wonderful people to surround yourself with.  It's imperative not to dwell on things that are out of our control.

"Find your happy place."  What is it that gives you comfort?  What in your life brings you peace?  The secret to finding your happy place is to first know yourself inside and out.  Understanding what makes you tick will help you find the things that make you feel as though your days here on earth are successful.

When I was an elementary counselor, one of the strategies I used with my students to manage their emotions was to imagine a place in their mind that relaxed them and made them feel the most happy.  For some it was the comfort of their bedroom, for others it was high up in a tree house.  Many liked to picture the beach or playing a game or swimming in their favorite pool.  The nice thing is that the place they picked was 'theirs'.  They could go to that place at any time- ANY TIME.

I used to share with my students about my 'happy place'.  I almost forgot about it until today as I began this blog.  When I was in high school and used to visit the local YMCA frequently, there was a trail that I used to love to walk or jog on.  It winded down and around this beautiful little creek.  There was a bench that sat under an old over-grown shade tree.  Sometimes I would find myself sitting their and getting lost in the moment.  I'd watch the sunlight bounce off the water streaming over the rocks.  I'd listen to the nature that sang all around me.  I'd feel comfortable in the shade with the slight breeze blowing.  It was so picturesque and perfect.  I don't live in that town any more.  I can't go back to that spot every time I need my happy place, but certainly the memories I have can be visited any time it's needed.

Our mind is a powerful tool.  While we can't live the perfect life, have the perfect family or perfect job; we CAN have the perfect happy place.  This happy place can be visited as often as needed.  It can remind us to stop, relax and take a few deep breaths.  It can remind us that there are perfect moments that do exist in our difficult lives.

Find a place that works for you.  Find people that make you happy and feel loved.  Find a routine that you can live with that makes you feel productive and accomplished.  Find a healthy habit that keeps you strong, both physically and mentally.  Find your spiritual connection that can be fostered with the time and energy you have to give.  Most importantly, find what works for you and then nourish the heck out of it.  That will be a great start to bringing your happy place to your day to day living!

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay.'

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

Don't want to miss a blog? Sign up to receive e-mail notification.

Sorry, Mr. Police Officer

Well, it was a more eventful morning than I would have hoped!  We started out on our walk to school this beautiful morning ... my five-year-old riding her bike, my almost seven-year-old on his scooter, my two-year-old riding in the stroller, and my eight-year-old and her friend walking behind me.  The two on contraptions always go a little faster and know to stop at each street corner.  There is a large turn at the bottom of a hill near our house that I loose sight of them for a minute or two.  It was then that the problem began.

Apparently my bike-riding daughter was feeling the need to 'win' something and announced that she was the champion of the race.  My son knows that they are not to race to avoid accidents and so this comment ticked him off.  I soon found out that there was some shoving and a bike tossed.  My son came to tattle on his sister.  I didn't want to deal with conflicting reports and just announced that they would both walk the rest of the way to school.  End of story.

My son's scooter was folded and put in the bottom of the stroller.  He was very complaint.  My daughter, however, began protesting.  I told her that we were going to continue and that if she did not leave her bike to walk with us I would report to the police officer that usually helps with crossing kids in the morning that she was by herself several blocks away and I might need his help to ensure her safety.  This threat got her catching up quickly.  Which is good because it was a completely empty threat.  I would never admit to an officer that I my daughter refused to come with me and it ended up there wasn't even an officer on duty.

My daughter turned her attitude around quite remarkably.  We had a wonderful walk the rest of the way to school.  So wonderful that I hadn't even turned around to see that her bike was lying on a street corner, right near the street, with her helmet on top. 

We were on our way home after seeing the kids off to school and just about to turn the corner to where we would find her bike so she could ride the rest of the way home.  I noticed an officer turn on the street that we would be turning on.  I joked, "I hope he's not going to see what happened with your bike."  Oh, dear.  I should have never joked.  Talk about karma!

He REALLY WAS going to see what happened with the bike.  There were SEVERAL calls to the police station reporting a bike and helmet left on a corner on the way to school.  After thinking about it, I can see why our neighborly patrons were worried that something had happened.  There could have been an accident or an abduction.  Oh, seriously.  I didn't even think about it.

So, I spent the next several minutes explaining the situation and how both kids lost their chance to 'ride' to school.  I let him know that the scooter fits nicely under the stroller, but I didn't want to carry the bike the half mile to school.  I apologized profusely.  He was really very kind.  He even told a white lie when reporting what he found after investigating the bike ... stating that there was a child who got 'tired' on the way to school and the family picked it up on the way home.

Ugh.  Well, we lived to learn a valuable lesson this morning.  My daughter was a little confused about the lie the officer told.  I let her know that he was being kind to avoid us being more embarrassed than we already were.  Next time, I'll find a better place to park the bike.

It's okay. 

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay.'

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

Don't want to miss a blog? Sign up to receive e-mail notification.

The Secret To Life Is Enjoying The Ride.

Onto my second pad ... last week I told  you about a stationary set I received from a friend.  It is from Hallmark and has Life is Good quotes on each pad.  I loved, loved, loved them all and felt they were very fitting for the 'It's Okay' philosophy.  The first, "Life is a journey. Bring comfy shoes."  And now, "The secret to life is enjoying the ride."

Would you compare life to an amusement park?  Absolutely.  I was once taught a strategy to use with grieving children.  You have them draw an amusement park that represented their grief.  There were rides that were scary in which they wouldn't face alone.  There were rides that they had to do by themselves.  Some rides went up and down and all around; much like the emotions they were faced with in grief.  It was interested to see how the children were able to draw their emotions through that of an amusement park and then explain how it related to their own experience.

After having much success with this strategy, I adapted it for children who struggle with emotion management and self-image.  I found that we are all faced with situations that can be compared to that of an amusement park.  There are times in our life that we take on challenges, only to be disappointed.  There are moments when we would rather be alone, to shamed to share what we are feeling.  There are life situations that are beyond scary in our own world, that need the support of people. 

Whatever challenges you are facing or emotions you are managing, know that you are not alone.  We all struggle through this thing called life.  Some days we are high as a kite and can take on the top-rated roller coaster.  But, there may also be days where all we can handle is a quiet float down the lazy river alone.

Don't be ashamed if your emotions travel up and down and all around.  Don't beat yourself up if you need to ask for help with an overwhelming event you can't face alone.  Don't worry if you look in the mirror some days and feel like you are in the magic image room where you see someone who doesn't look like you.  Try to enjoy the ride you are on.  It may not be the ride your neighbor is willing to brave, but it is the ride that works for you.

Whether you are on a slow moving Ferris Wheel or the fastest upside down Roller Coaster, try to savor what is good about it.  Tomorrow you may have the courage to jump on a more challenging ride or you may need to slow down a bit and see what the amusement park has to offer you.  It's okay to go on a ride alone.  It's okay to gather as many friends as you need to gain support.  It's okay to beg the conductor to stop while you catch your breath.  No two rides are the same.  Many times, no two days are the same.  Certainly, no two lives are the same.  Embrace the journey that is yours and the ride you have chosen for today.

The secret to life is enjoying the ride ... no matter which one you are on!

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

Don't want to miss a blog? Sign up to receive e-mail notification.

Life Is A Journey. Bring Comfy Shoes.

I recently received a gift of stationary and sticky notes that had the most amazing Life is Good quotes on them from Hallmark.  The top pad had an adorable pair of old converse-type shoes with the quote, "Life is a journey. Bring comfy shoes."  What a wonderful 'real' quote.  Life is anything but predictable and expected ... some days are amazing and full of joy, while others are daunting and overwhelming.

So we can't be fully prepared for the journey that life often forces us to travel.  That's okay.  Once we accept that, we are able to be more comfortable with the opportunities or challenges that might pop up.  The 'shoe' part of the quote allows us to think hard about who we are.  If we look in our closets at the shoes that are stacked up, we might recall the many journeys that have brought to where we currently are in life.

Comfort is in the eye of the beholder.  As I was enjoying the park and a picnic with my two little ones this morning, I couldn't help but look around.  There was a party of some sort going on at the park with an assortment of parents and little people.  Many of them looked as though they were 'ready' for their day.  Cute outfits, matching shoes, hair done ... and then there was me!  Capri sweatpants, three-year-old plain black flip flops, a black hat (since I got a workout in earlier, but no shower), and a ratty old tank top.

There was a moment when I started to doubt myself.  I started to wonder why I hadn't taken more time to look more presentable.  But, I had to stop.  Differences are what make us who we are.  I am comfortable in the clothes I chose to wear today.  I was able to get a little dirty and not feel bad about it.  I didn't worry that the humidity was 880% and would have destroyed the hair that I so rarely do.  My old flip-flops didn't take any more of a beating than they have the last three years:)

You never know why people are the way they are or why they make the decisions that they make.  It's okay that you do things different.  Your journey is not like any other.  It's okay that your comfort level looks different than someone else.  Shoes are designed to fit the assortment of feet that exist in our world.  Some people are comfortable in high Stilettos, while others can't go without their tennis shoes.

Life is a journey, with roadblocks and detours and four-corner stops.  You have to choose how to handle each of the nuisances that change your world.  You get to decide which shoe will best help you travel the road only you travel.  Try not to wish for the shoes that are on your neighbor.  Chances are, they won't be as comfortable as the ones you already have.  Blisters are no fun and only add to the already challenging journey you are traveling.     

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

Don't want to miss a blog? Sign up to receive e-mail notification.

To All The Mother's Out There...

My Dearest Mama's,

I have struggled for days with how to say,
That each of you matter in so many different ways.
I wanted mothers young and old,
To be reminded of the heart their feelings hold.

Mother's here and mothers gone,
Touch us in ways that last our whole life long.
Forgotten, you are never,
Though some days you struggle to see how special.

Motherhood is never easy,
It is a job that never completely pleases.
Worry, guilt, sadness ... feelings that overwhelm,  
We only feel confident to share these with dear friends.

As a mother you will never get it perfect,
But life with you makes it worth it!
Your imprint will last beyond your time,
In the hearts and minds of the little people you call, "mine"!

Don't be ashamed of the hard days you've had,
Don't feel regret for the moments you were beyond mad.
Don't feel that you didn't do it right,
Know that motherhood is a constant fight.

The struggles we fight are often our own,
Never believing we deserve that motherhood throne!
Your love is what matters most,
Not the forgotten library books or the burnt toast.

Though you can't do it all and be it all,
That's not what your children will most recall.
The simple touch, listening ear and boo-boo kiss
Will be what your kids most miss.

Take a moment and think really hard,
About the gifts that only YOU can share with us all.
You're special and different than any other, 
You're YOU, you're an amazing mother!

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

Don't want to miss a blog? Sign up to receive e-mail notification.

A Moment Etched in Time

There was a moment that occurred today that I do not want to forget.  It was not an 'it's okay' moment that left me mortified or feeling like I need to confess.  It was not a moment that was ruined by feelings of guilt or inadequacy or judgment.  It was a moment that I need to write down and plaster all over my house to remind me that moments of glory DO occur.  In these moments of glory, I wonder why it's so easy to forget the good times and get so overwhelmed by the bad times.

"Mom, I'm really going to miss doing this with you next year when I'm in kindergarten."

What?  What?  I wanted to say, "Are you feeling okay?"  I wanted to inquire about what happened to my maniac five-year-old that not ten minutes earlier was sticking her tongue out at me and covering her ears when I tried to talk.  I wanted to preach about how all year I have been trying to enjoy our time together, knowing that we wouldn't have forever.  But, I didn't do any of that.  I got caught up in the amazing moment that my usually infuriating child created for me. 

I was almost brought to tears.  I was speechless.  The remainder of the walk to the park left me pondering.  My aunt once told me, "You know the days are long, but the years are short."  Boy isn't that true.  This year has flown by.  If I think back to my days ... my many days filled with 'it's okay' moments, I know that I did not always appreciate the time I was blessed with (and some days, I may have even wished it to be gone).  The year is over.  It went so fast.  I'm left with wonderful memories and have a difficult time picking out all the tough days.  But, I remember many of the days when I didn't fully appreciate the year I was given. 

When we were in the car a while later, I just had to know more.  "So you've enjoyed our year together?  You're really going to miss me next year when you're in kindergarten?"

"Mom, we've done a LOT of fun stuff this year."  She said this while 'reading' a paper she picked up on one of our errands.  "I'm sad that we won't be able to do more fun stuff, but my teachers will need me to do a lot of learning."

I made sure to take time to express my gratitude for her comment.  I gushed about how it made my day (which was not a lie).  I reminded her of how I know we sometimes have a hard time getting along, but how I love her so much.  I continued with comments about her special attributes ... her beauty, her strength, her spunk, her smarts!  It was then that it registered, "Yeah, I am smart."

The last few weeks I have struggled a little with my identity.  This has happened a few times over this past year.  It's not always there, but occasionally I get a feeling that I'm not being a productive member of society.  This sounds so silly, but unfortunately it is how I feel.  I know it's not true.  I do a very important job every day in raising my children.  It's just that there are days when I know my only job is to be a mother, and when your not doing your mom job as well as you want or as good as you think you should, there is no where else to turn.  There is no other job to get affirmation from.  No checklist that needs to be complete. 

So, in these minor struggles that have been occurring, I'm left with a new moment.  It is etched in my brain (at least for tonight).  I plan to write it down on ten pieces of paper when I am done here and tape it all over my house.  My daughter remembers our year.  My daughter loved our year.  My daughter told me with the most sincere voice and expression that I made the right decision in staying home with her.  She will never know that's what she really said to me ... but, today, in that moment, I know being home this year with my kids was the best thing I could have ever done.

While this year was very short and many, many days were very long; at least I have it!  Struggles and all, I have it! 

Oops ... Spoke Too Soon!

You know that moment when you start to feel good about your accomplishments (even the small ones)?  There's that sense of glory and pride beaming from your heart.  No one needs to say anything or even notice because you are able to recognize it for yourself! 

And then ... there is that unfortunate moment after when you realize that you may have spoke to yourself too soon.  You realize that your accomplishment wasn't quite what you thought or your amazement is shattered by an unseen 'it's okay' moment.

My husband was a doll this morning.  I asked him to wake me when he got up to shower so that I could go for my day #3 of running a mile in the morning sans kids.  When he rolled over to wake me, I simply told him that I wasn't going to make it.  I had been up with our youngest on and off from midnight to 4:00 am and didn't have it in me.  Plus I was planning to attend class at the YMCA at 8:30, so I could still get a workout in.  He let me sleep until 7:15 am and helped in getting the kids ready for school.  Though I felt overly guilty about him staying and helping, I was extremely grateful!

Even though I was exhausted, we made it out the door on time and walked to school.  The older two were dropped off without a hitch and we made it home in time to jump in the van and head to the Y.  I got the two younger ones dropped off at the daycare and my little lady didn't even let a tear roll down her cheek (I could tell it was looming, but she held it in).  I made it through a very difficult workout and went to pick up the little ladies from daycare so we could head to the pool for an hour of swimming.

My youngest had done her business in the daycare, so I was beaming that I wouldn't have to change a poop-filled swim diaper.  It was unfortunate that she must have needed to double-duty her morning bowels because she did fill her swim diaper.  BUT, I had a spare (this is very impressive considering a previous blog I wrote about when I admitted to very rarely being prepared with diapers)!  So we swam our hearts out.

We made it through shower time and headed back to get dressed.  The two ladies were dressed and eating a snack.  All that was left was for me to get dressed and then we would head out with enough time to get home and eat a quick lunch before preschool.  It was then that I had my moment.  That proud, "I did it!" moment.  Feeling on top of the world that I didn't let my tiredness get in the way of a workout.  So grateful that the morning happened without a major catastrophe.  I felt a little skip in my step!

CRASH ... down came my moment.  I was getting dressed, ready to move on to the next part of our day.  My pants were on, but the frantic search began.  I had a shirt to put on with my pants, but get this ... I didn't have a bra!  Yep, my moment was done.  I suppose I could have put on my sweaty bra, but that didn't appease to my clean body.  My five-year-old simply smiled and said, "Do you really need a bra?  Isn't that thing a bra?"  She was referring to an undershirt.  My comment, "Nope, but it will have to do."

Thank goodness for a large bag full of swim stuff and three coats from a chilly morning that were no longer needed.  We grabbed our bags and headed out.  So, there you have it.  I forgot my bra.  If it's not one thing, it's another.  At least I had a diaper- the silver lining is that forgetting a diaper would've been A LOT worse!

Here's to your moments.  It's okay.

Don't forget to 'like' It's Okay Books on Facebook so you don't miss out on more opportunities to realize that your 'it's okay' moments aren't happening just to you!

Gratitude Equals Goodness

What is it about noticing the little things that makes such a great difference?  I find that when I take time to be grateful for the little things in my life, the big struggles seem smaller.  A while ago I blogged about a book that I was reading with my bible study group.  The book, One Thousand Gifts, shared a message of gratitude.  A goal that our group set was that we were to each make a list, much like the author, of 1,000 things we were grateful for.  Now, mind you, this was our goal back in January.  I am currently on #394!  But, I'm still working at it.  Slow and steady will win the race:)

So, today we were a little early for preschool drop-off.  It was just a few minutes, but enough time for me to pick up my journal and realize that it had been weeks since I added to my list.  So, I started jotting things down for 389, 390, 391 ... all the way to 394.  It only took a minute or so, but in that minute I felt at peace.  I was reminded that being grateful for the little things in my life helps me handle the big, overwhelming things that attack me when I least expect them.

My #394 was that I was grateful that I got up this morning for a mile jog.  You might remember last month when I attempted to start running a mile a day with my children.  It was a COMPLETE disaster that ended up with a bloody finger, a wild dog and a frazzled mama!  And, I have to mention that running a mile a day was supposed to be a March goal.  After that experience, the then April goal transformed into a May goal.  Sunday night of this week I decided to attempt the mile-a-day for a month starting on May 6th.  After a restless night of sleep, I decided to start the goal on Tuesday.  Today was day #2!  And I did it.  I also wised up and decided to do my mile in the morning sans kids!  A much smarter way to attain my goal.  Such a little thing, but what a great thing to be thankful for.  Now, I could rattle off how I've already destroyed my run with a terrible lunch and too much creamer for my coffee, but I'll just stick to being thankful that I actually got up and ran a mile!

The book I wrote this year, It's Okay: Let's Get Real About This Thing We Call Parenting, is supposed to help parents realize that messing up is okay.  That we cannot expect to be perfect.  That our children will not be perfect.  Since it's supposed to help others, shouldn't it help me too?  But, alas, I still struggle to see that when I mess-up, 'it's okay.'  I still struggle to see that I can't achieve the perfect balanced life.  For a moment today, when I was recalling the little things that I am grateful for (the jog, my two-year-old's random unrecognizable conversations, the perfect spring day temperature, etc.), I realized that things are okay.  When I take time to be grateful, I don't have time to obsess over the things that are not, and are never going to be, perfect in my world.

A few months ago, my daughter received the sacrament of Reconciliation.  I chose to go to confession that day and teared up as I confessed to the priest.  It brings me to tears even as I write this.  I am home this year ... away from the full-time working grind!  It's supposed to be my year to 'enjoy' my children, to 'love' my time with them.  I confessed that my sour attitude and parent screams often get in the way of my enjoyment and love.  Now it's not all the time, but when it happens, the guilt I feel is overwhelming.  The priest assured me that I can't be the perfect parent.  He said that we are often the hardest on those that we love the most.  He explained that because I was with them more, it was normal to have those moments of frustration and being overwhelmed.

I was left with a penance of recognizing two things about each of my children that I am grateful for.  I was also expected to recognize and remember the things that I am doing well.  Isn't that something?  I'm  normal.  I'm human.  I forget to be thankful for the most amazing gifts in my life.  It's okay.  The priest told me it was okay.  And, in remembering to be grateful ... to count my blessings, I realized that God is good and my life is great.  Don't get me wrong, I forget daily to be grateful, but in the moments I remember, goodness explodes in my day!

I'll leave you with a laugh.  That day I went to confess, I asked my husband why he skipped confession (trying to make him feel guilty for not being a good role model)!  He didn't miss a beat.  "I tried to go in.  The priest waved me off.  He must have known the meeting would have been pointless.  I have nothing to confess."  If only you could have seen his face when he showed me how the priest waved him off ... as if to say ... perfection is only possible in you, my son!  Oh, my husband.  I am grateful for him and his obnoxious personality!

Put Together ... I Think Not!

It makes me laugh every time someone asks me for advice.  I suppose surviving the birth of four children and having them growing up happy and healthy should be worth something.  But really, the only advice I have is that you have to do what works for you.  I've come to the conclusion that parenting is nothing but improvising and surviving!  None of us will do those two things the same ... and that's okay.

There are many things that I suppose I can anticipate after having four kids.  There are places I know to avoid, fits that I can see starting to explode, activities that I know are sure to create a cluster ... but, even with all that knowledge, I still don't know much.  Some days I am so overwhelmed that I just have to sit down and give up for a few minutes.  Some moments seem so straining that I feel tears prickling in my eyes. 

After four children, you would think that I would know the simple things.  I love the comment, "Well, I'm sure you know after having all those kids!"  Yeah, right.  The other night we ventured off to a graduation party that was a little over an hour away.  Our two year old is no where near being potty-trained.  She has a pacifier glued to her mouth.  And she's had more pop and sugar in her short life than our other three children combined.

Tell me this.  What parent forgets to bring a diaper for her two-year-old?  What parent heads out the door with nothing but a graduation gift?  Especially if this parent has had three other children at the age of needing diapers?

We pulled up to the party and headed out.  We had the needed pacifier in the pocket, but as I checked every square inch of our van for a diaper, there was not a one to be found.  Seriously?  You see this happens ALL the time.  What has happened to me?  We leave a stash of diapers and a package of wipes in our van door because more times than not, I am not prepared.  Yep, me, a mother of four, leaves the house frequently without a diaper for her youngest.  Sadly, I usually remember the pacifier and have some candy stashed in my purse to avoid unnecessary fits!

This poor youngest of mine.  I used to be so prepared.  I had a bag full of tricks like good mothers.  I had diapers and band-aids and a spare set of clothes.  Now, I'm lucky if I have my purse (and a diaper in the door).  Maybe it's laziness.  Maybe I got tired of packing and unpacking for a week-long trip every time I left the house for 10 minutes.  Maybe there was one too many times the necessary items in the bag weren't necessary.

So, as I looked at my husband (knowing we were no where near a gas station or store) and I just shrugged my shoulders.  "Well, I hope she doesn't poop."  He just laughed.  Then the light bulb that is occasionally still lit in my brain shined bright!  "I bet my cousin will be here ... hopefully her boy isn't potty-trained yet either.  She will for sure have a diaper."

My heart leap for joy when she walked in the room an hour later.  I beamed as I greeted her and begged for a diaper.  She, of course, was prepared and got a good chuckle that we would be so far away from home without a spare!

Several minutes later after feeling much relief about a needed diaper, I got the look of all looks.  I was chasing that very two-year-old around the party and holding my cup of beer upright.  She was just out of reach.  When I caught up and grabbed her hand with my free hand, she cut loose again.  My only option was a two-handed grab.  There was a buffet right next to me.  She was headed for the chocolate fountain.  There was no place to set my beer and no seconds to spare in thinking it through any further.  I sucked it up, put the cup between my teeth and grabbed for dear life.  Safe!  The girl was in my arms, the beer didn't spill a drop and that woman staring at me got quite a show!

There are many days I feel like first-time mom.  Some days I think I know less now than I did before I had kids.  But, the good news is ... we are surviving.  There are even moments I might say that we are flourishing.  Life is good.  God has given us so many blessings.  So what if I don't have it all together.  Who cares if we have to beg and steal diapers?  We are human to the core.  Imperfect and doing the best we can.  Just remember, you hold the key to many of your unsolved dilemmas.  Believe in yourself and the knowledge you have about your life.  No one has it all together all the time!  And improvising is the best skill I have acquired from all these little people.

It's Okay: Let's Get Real About This Thing We Call Parenting has 100 stories from over 40 contributors.  These stories remind us on days like these (or like mine) that it's okay to mess-up and not have it all together.  They remind us that we are not alone in our parenting struggles.  These stories give us hope for a better tomorrow!  It's Okay.

www.itsokaybooks.com 

"Mom, I'd Be Frustrated Too If I Was My Kid!"

Seriously?  What five-year-old says this to her mother?  I guess mine does.  These little creatures we call children are so wise beyond their years.  We were getting dressed for the day and I may have huffed one too many times.  My daughter calmly reminded me, "Just calm down, Mom."  She then finished up with, "I know you are frustrated with me.  I would be frustrated, too, if I was my kid!"  I couldn't help but laugh!

Sometimes I wonder if I share too much of how I feel with my children.  Here are a few quotes that might give you a little insight into how I lose the 'Mom of the Year' award daily.  Not to worry, I've not expected to win that for many years.  My goal is simply to win 'Mom of the Moment' once or twice a week:)

"Take a breath, Mom"
"It's okay, Mom, it's just juice."
"I'm sure it's normal to get crabby.  I think all moms are crabby sometimes."
"Remember, you said you weren't going to yell anymore!"
"Calm down, Mom.  Just tell yourself to calm down."
"Count to three, Mom!"
"Just breathe in and out slowly, Mom."

These are just a few that come to mind.  There are many, many more.  I expect that someday I will look back and realize that my kids did a heck of a job raising me!  I learn so much from them everyday ... my little wonders.  There is no way to love every minute of the blessings that have entered my life, but there are moments when I stand in awe of the little people that make our house a home and our family complete.

Here's to the moments of glory.  The 'it's okay' moments will continue to happen.  My kids will have to continue to remind me of the goals I set for myself.  I will continue to screw up daily and lose 'Parent of the Year' over and over.  But, in my moments, my peaceful and calm and loving moments, I can know that I am doing the very best job I can!

It's okay.

Where Does The Time Go?

Where on earth does time go?  How do we get to a point in our life where everything has been such a whirl wind that we wonder if we have appreciated the gifts that have blessed our lives?  I remember before I was married, that people would say, "Watch out, before you know it you'll be married with four kids!"  My answer was always a chuckle and, "Yeah, right."  Well, all be darned ... it happened.

Our neighbors are moving away.  We moved into this house when our oldest daughter was nine months old.  She is now eight.  We have watched our neighbors little four-year-old turn into a fifth grader and their six-year-old turn into an almost driver.  Where on earth did the time go?  As they prepare for their last days in the house next to ours, I'm left with a little pit in my stomach. 

We trust our neighbors.  We like our neighbors.  We can end up in the driveway for an hour chatting when a nice day presents itself.  We've had meaningful life conversations and shared beverages after long days and swapped parenting stories.  Have we taken them for granted?  Little things like when we forget to feed our dog or need our flowers watered or just need someone to check in on the house.  We have been so fortunate to grow into our family as we were surrounded by them and their family.

Last night my neighbor needed a washing machine.  It was such a nice time.  We watched TV, chatted and played with my two-year-old as the laundry machine was working away.  We chatted about how much we wish kids could stay two forever.  Not that the fits and misunderstandings are all that fun when little people are two, but boy are they care-free and full of life.  So innocent and so full of love. 

I admitted last night that I can't remember my older three being two.  I can't remember their crazy sayings or the dances they used to do.  I have pictures and can look back and recall certain things, but the feeling I had last night just watching my two-year-old is gone.  I'm so sad today as I think about never being able to get that time back.  I don't think I wasted time and I don't have regrets.  Just sadness for the fact that I know there were days that I was so overwhelmed with life that I didn't appreciate the joy of the stages they were in. 

We had three kids in three years with our older children.  Life was hectic and busy.  But, it was also joyful and amazing.  I just can't believe it is gone.  It will never be back.  Life keeps moving at a pace that we cannot control.  Kids are busy in activities and adults have to maintain this crazy thing called life.  Days are stressful.  Moments are overwhelming.  But, boy, the years are so short.  Time flies when you least expect it to and when you are least prepared for it. 

What things do you miss?  What moments do you most want to remember?  Life is amazing, but it goes way too fast.  It's hard to let go of being productive and getting things done.  But, for today, I am remembering to look deep into the eyes of each of my kids and vowing to love the stage they are in.  It won't last forever.  I will probably forget again tomorrow.  I am so grateful for my neighbors that will still live next door for the next two days.  They are wonderful people that have been comfortable and real and reliable ... it's been a pleasure to grow our family next to them and watch their family grow. 

The time went way too fast.  I have got four great little people to show for it.  The challenge is to now appreciate the struggles that exist with four little people and not miss the amazement that they create (even amongst the chaos)!  Thank you my dear neighbors for reminding me what life is all about:) You will be greatly missed!