Marriage Monday: Talk With A Touch

"Passion is the quickest to develop and the quickest to fade. Intimacy develops more slowly, and commitment more gradually still." 

-Robert Sternberg

Last week I talked about the importance of communicating; of intentionally saying how you are feeling. This is a key and a must to make marriage work. 

However, a thing we don't talk openly enough about is intimacy. While this may not be a way to verbally communicate, there is no doubt that you talk to one another through touch. 

Now, we must first define intimacy. I'm not talking about rolling around in the sack six times a week ... let's be realistic (BUT, if this is true for you- WOW ... keep it up!)!

Intimacy comes over time. The butterflies that once fluttered from your tummy to your throat, almost choking you, disappear. Passion and attraction look different after a year, ten years or forty years down the road. 

We must make an effort. Tiny actions speak very loudly.

A hand on the small of your back as you enter a room. A smirk from across the way. A knowing wink. A peck after a long day at work. A long embrace. A head on your shoulder.

Talking through your touch is critical to keep a marriage fresh and young long after the 'newness' wears off. 

Last summer I was looking out my kitchen window. A neighbor lady down the road had bent down to pull out a weed. Her husband came from behind, grabbed her hips and only got started on pretending to do an inappropriate act for the whole neighborhood to see. I say he only got started because she popped up faster than the speed of light and turned around to whack him! Their smiles and laughs could be heard through our closed doors!

My obnoxious husband used to do this every time I put a dish in the dishwasher or picked up a towel off the floor. I'm sure his arms were sore from the amount of times he got hit. This sort of ridiculous play is what keeps the monotony of marriage a little more exciting. 

Bills, schedules, work, laundry, cleaning ... life gets boring. We can't let our marriage do the same. We must fight to keep it passionate long after the passion has faded. 

My friend reminded me this summer of a bad habit her husband picked up from mine ... when we used to fight and I'd get angry, he'd grab me and squeeze me over and over. Each time he squeezed me, he'd create a 'farting' sound effect in time to the beat of his squeezes. Mature- I know!

These little things have faded, but even writing about them bring a smile to my face. And, it takes me back to a simpler time when, years later, he randomly pulls them out (no pun intended-ha).

This week, don't let your married life be boring. Take time to talk through your touching. Play a little. Have fun! And remember, long after the passion fades, it's the comfort of your intimacy that will keep your marriage strong.

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

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