Sunday, November 24, 2013

#marriagemonday: Why Are You So Angry?

Last weekend I had the pleasure of meeting a few girlfriends out for lunch. We had an amazing laugh over blood-boiling angry moments we've all had with our spouses.

You know those times in life when you feel like you are floating outside of your body looking down on this crazy person that is actually yourself?

I vividly remember a time when our second was just a few weeks old. Our oldest at the time was just an 18-month-old. Nights were so unpredictable. The baby was up every few hours feeding, the oldest was still inconsistent in her sleeping through the nights ... and then ... there was my snoring-like-a-grizzly-bear of a husband.

On the night that I floated above my crazy self, the baby had been up every hour on the hour. I had just gotten him back to sleep and my husband's alarm went off for work. He snoozed it no less than four times and after each push of the button, his snores returned. He's really not a regular snorer, but our sleepless nights had apparently gotten the best of him.

I was raging. I thought I might strangle him. I wanted to punch him in the mouth. My blood was truly boiling.

Just as I got to sleep, the opening of the garage door (for him to finally go to work) awoke the toddler. My night was over. Sleep was not going to happen. All I could do was cry.

These years of little people interrupting our every night of sleep are far behind us; as we are forever grateful for. But, the feelings I had that night and the whole next day still seem fresh. It was seven years ago, but I can recall how all I wanted to do was scream or hurt or destroy my other half.

Snoring, irritating habits, annoying remarks ... what is it that gets you so angry? What makes you come completely unglued? And how on earth do you keep your cool?

The thoughts that go through our minds are more dangerous than what is actually happening. We can talk ourselves into the belief that our spouse is the worst creature ever to walk this earth.

Just remember: it's okay to be angry. It's okay to fume. It's okay that your spouse sometimes brings out your crazy self.

While it's okay to be angry, it's important to remember that it's not okay to be hurtful with your words or actions. We must keep that raging devil dog caged up. We must figure out how to tame the beast.

This #marriagemonday, share with your spouse a time you were so angry you could have strangled him/her. Take time to laugh about the past moment. Listen to the other side. Find out what drives your spouse just as mad about you.

Try to contain those inner thoughts that cause more harm than good. Use some positive self-talk to help you step off the angry-train of no return. Talk to your spouse about your rage (wake them up if you have to)! Anger gets us all- don't let it take over the marriage ... let it just be one more stepping stone to strengthen the bond you already have!

: it's okay to be angry. BUT, keep the raging devil dog caged.    

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 
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