#fridayfolly: I Feel Fat, Ugly & Old!

OMG ... LMAO!

I thought it would be funny to begin my 'feeling old' blog by using letters that are intended for young, hip people to use (which I obviously am not-ha).

I definitely feel as though my 'stuff' has strutted off without me. I know I am not OLD, I'm just at a place where I've recognized I'm no longer young. And, it's a little disheartening to say the least.

When I began the 'it's okay' journey, my hope was to write about parenting, marriage and getting old. I feel that these three topics are hard to be completely real or authentic about. I've spent a lot of time on parenting and marriage, but, for today, let's get real about this thing called getting old!

My title, I Feel Fat, Ugly & Old, is a completely honest statement about how I felt this week. I know that I'm NOT these things (well, I kind of, sort of know), but I'm trying to be transparent about the fact that I've recognized some things about myself: I no longer have a body that bounces back; I no longer have skin that just takes care of itself; I am no longer 'just out of college'!

As we grow older, it's important to recognize that our spirit stays young. When we actually realize that our appearances or abilities have changed, there is a sense of loss. It's natural for us to grieve the person we once were; it's normal to wish we could do what we once took for granted.

Medical conditions. Insufficient bladders. Wrinkles. Joint Pain. Adult acne. Scars.

Do I dare go on?

Getting old is hard- just like life. While it's awesome that our knowledge grows and we become wiser in our years of experience, it also sucks that we recognize our limitations. And, let's be honest ... there's a lot of embarrassing things that happen to us as we get old. It's not easy to get 'real' about things we are ashamed to admit.

Obviously my title does not exhibit the positive self-talk that I should be using, but it allows us to examine the struggles we all have with our appearance and our age. Attitude is everything, but sometimes the changes happening to us (out of our control) are hard to accept.

Wacky hormones. Slowed metabolism. Gray hair or thinning hair. Droopy skin. Weird smells. Abnormal spots. OLD MAN FARTS (obviously, this is NOT mine)!!!!!

There is a fine line between complaining and being honest about our thoughts and feelings. I've recognized that all of a sudden I look older than I thought, can't eat the same things I used to eat (and stay the same size), and have to put in a little more effort to getting ready. These things are reality- but if I'm going to put in effort to complain about them, I also need to put in the effort to accept them or change them.

Spring is here. New growth is about to happen all around us. Budding trees, blooming flowers, growing grass ... a new beginning.

I hope to take this opportunity to have a new beginning myself. Without completely rocking my world, it's realistic for me to workout a little more and eat a little less. It's okay to admit (and start using) some wrinkle and eye cream in hopes to trick myself into looking younger. And, certainly, it's critical for me to appreciate the blessings my age has brought me, rather than thinking of it as a curse.

This weekend, my hope is that you find a renewed beginning. Think young thoughts. Recognize your years and years of blessings. Set small goals to ensure your 'stuff' isn't strutting off without you!

Life goes by. It sucks to wake up & realize #youarentyounganymore 

It's ok to mourn your old self, but appreciate #wisdom #growth #blessings

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

 

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#throwbackthursday: Living a Life of Balance

I can't believe it's already Thursday again. Days, weeks and months are just flying by ... and I have to wonder, "Am I living my life with any sort of balance?" 

Last year at this time I was blogging about the Points to Ponder section at the beginning of my book, It's Okay: Let's Get Real About This Thing We Call Parenting (www.itsokaybooks.com). I was excited about the recent release of my book and had settled into my year off from work. 

I remember that life seemed to move more slowly when I wasn't working. The days seemed longer and I didn't feel as busy, yet, I don't think I felt any more balanced then than I do now. 

I've realized that balance isn't a 'place' in life you strive for. Rather, it's a feeling that comes and goes like the waves in the ocean. Sometimes the tide comes in slow and steady and other times it races in more quickly than you ever imagined it would. 

Enjoying little bits of each facet of your life allow you feel balanced. No one can create the enjoyment or contentment in your life, but YOU. Knowing everything won't be in sync at the same time will relax your expectations and allow you to get the most out of the pieces of your days, weeks and months that make the puzzle of your life complete. 

Here goes my thoughts from a year ago ... 

March 29th, 2013

Balance Is The Key ... But What's Yours

Points to Ponder #9- Balance is the key ... but, what's yours?

Seriously, how often have you heard that you need to find a balance?  Whether you are talking about family, work, health, money, relationships, etc., the key is always to find a good balance.  If only it were really that easy.  There are times in life when everything seems to be in sync; when you feel as though you have enough of everything and nothing is throwing you out of whack.  BUT, let's be honest, those times are very rare.  Those times don't last longer than a month or two, heck, sometimes even a day or two.  And then the rest of the weeks or months or years you feel like a circus dog trying to run in a circular ball that never stops spinning.

I like to compare life to laundry.  It seems that every once in a while, every dirty piece of laundry is clean, folded and put away.  In that rare moment, you feel like you can handle life, like things aren't that bad and the dirty laundry wasn't that hard to get under control.  You feel that way until just a short time later when your child wets the bed or spills a class of juice all over the table cloth or walks through the largest mud pile you've ever seen.  Even if one of those normal things don't happen, later in that same day that all the laundry was complete, you look in the baskets that live in the various spots in your home, and they all seem to be full.  What?  Just hours before EVERYTHING was clean.  That's how life is.  As soon as you feel like you've got this thing called life figured out, something changes or something happens that throws you for a major loop.

So, balance is definitely the key.  But, you can't look at what others say is a balanced life.  You have to look at your own needs, your own wants and your own issues.  We all have these things ... needs, wants and issues.  And they all affect us in different ways.  If we take time to examine our lives and figure out what makes us feel complete, we can start to achieve a small sense of balance in our lives.  The struggle is that our needs, wants and issues are constantly changing just as the world constantly moves.  Not to mention the fact that if you are in a family, you have to also consider the needs, wants and issues of everyone living in your home or in the family that you care for outside of your home.

I have come to the conclusion that balance is really just a juggling act.  Its about who can have the most balls in the air and manage them without letting them hit the ground.  We all do it differently.  Some are able to do it with more grace.  But, the bottom line is ... if you can manage the balls minute after minute, possibly day after day, and sometimes (thankfully) year after year, then you have some balance in your life.

Don't be so hard on yourself when you have a dirty house, a squabble with your spouse, a car that looks like you live in it, a workout that didn't get complete, a budget that went a little over last month, an extra beer that left you with a morning headache ... life is hard.  Do the best the can you can with what you have to work with and with as much force as you have day after day.  That's really all anyone can ask of you and your balance.

Good luck!

#tuesdaytip: Keep It Real!

I was about to skip my #tuesdaytip; to throw in the towel and admit, "I've got nothing!" Then it hit me ... where this journey all began.

The 'it's okay' philosophy began with the idea that we often avoid being authentic; being who we really are, because we are fearful of what others will think of us. Or, we are afraid that if we admit our inadequacies, they will somehow define us.

Let's get real. 

Getting 'real' means ...

1. Being honest about your flaws.
2. Laughing at your incredibly daunting moments.
3. Letting others in.
4. Admitting that you don't have all the answers.
5. Realizing that everyone has struggles (they are just all different).
6. Sharing pieces of yourself that are scary.
7. Trusting others won't think less of you for being you.
8. Forgiving yourself for past mistakes.
9. Understanding you're not alone.


10. Believing 'it's okay' to just do the best darn job you can with the strengths and limitations you were blessed with!

The other night I was checking out at Target. It was nearing 9:00 pm on a Saturday night and I was feeling as lucky as a Leprechaun to have just spent my Saturday night, alone, meandering through the isles of an almost empty store.

My cart was overflowing. I had a stack of coupons. I was excited to try my new Cartwheel App. Life was good.

As I started unloading, I apologized to the clerk; knowing that he was probably ready to be done for the night and I had a million things to check out.

The man smiled bright at me and said, "It's no problem for me. I'm here for the next 20 minutes and might as well be helping someone. Looks like you had an enjoyable shopping experience!" He was kind, funny, helpful, enthusiastic and REAL!

Our conversation took many turns. I asked him if he had heard of the book, The Energy Bus, by Jon Gordon. He hadn't but was interested to know why I asked. I told him he reminded me of the bus driver in the book who had an extremely positive outlook and changed the lives of the riders who joined her bus.

He chuckled, "My guidance counselor told me that she was sure one day I'd find something I was good at. She tried to motivate me by asking what I'd do with a million dollars."

I smiled and admitted, "I'm an elementary guidance counselor. I always tell my students it's not about making a million! Rather, it's more important to find a job they like and are good at ... that will PAY the bills."

Our conversation ended with him telling me he thought it was great that I'm honest and 'real' with the kids. I made sure to tell him how much I appreciated his help and his conversation. Who would have thought I'd find such a joyful and authentic conversation checking out at Target?

It's not about revealing all your deep dark secrets. It's not about one-upping someone's struggles. It's not about complaining about all your life nuances.

Just be you. Be honest. Show empathy to others. Understand that life is hard. Keep it real!

This Tuesday, take time to evaluate your authentic self. Examine what parts of your life you might hiding behind. Admit to yourself what you are afraid to admit to others. Don't be afraid to be less than perfect; after all ... there isn't a perfect person out there.

Keep it real. #beauthentic #openup #shareyourself #trust 

It's not easy to admit you're less than perfect. #bebrave 

It's okay to be 100% you!

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

 

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#marriagemonday: He Played Our Song

Click here to listen to Bonnie Raitt's Feels Like Home

Why is music so powerful? What is it about a song that plummets a person back in history? Feelings and memories flood the heart and mind ... all because of a song.

This Saturday we had darn near nothing to do. It was fabulous. The day was spent cleaning, playing, cleaning some more and playing some more.

Before dinner, we all ended up downstairs. My hubby was playing songs for the kids on the computer; each taking turns picking their favorites. I stayed the course of cleaning (I'm kind of a fun-hater!). My kids called out that it was my turn to pick.

I was reluctant to answer. I couldn't think of a single song title at that moment. I froze.

My better half came to my rescue. "I know a song mom would like," he announced with a smile.

I thanked him and continued on my cleaning way. But, as soon as I heard the first few notes and saw him put the computer down, I knew what was coming.

The toys were taken out of my hand and tossed on the floor. Then and there he demanded that I dance with him. It only lasted about 20 seconds before we were bombarded by the kids, but those 20 seconds were pretty wonderful.

Our wedding song was playing in the background. Our children were surrounding us. At that moment, I took nothing for granted.

I think back to the day of our wedding, not knowing what was in store for our future. Our road has had many turns- some unexpected. There have been amazing, breath-taking moments and terrible, jaw-wrenching moments. Highs, lows, twists, turns, ups and downs.

Marriage; a true blessing; a lot of work. But, worth every effort. 

This last week I've been saddened for many friends who have lost loved ones. As I sit reflecting on lives lost, I'm reminded how important it is to count my blessings and take nothing for granted. When we are most frustrated with the nuances of life, we must try to appreciate being alive.

It's okay if you haven't been the best spouse this week. It's okay if you've reacted in a way you are not proud of. It's okay if you've gotten caught up in your own life struggles.

It's okay to start fresh today. Play a song that brings you back to a place of peace, love and hope (and don't be afraid to dance!).

Nothing better than feeling at home w/ the one you love #marriageisablessing 

Play a love song & #taketimetodance 

Live life & #appreciatelove

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

 

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#throwbackthursday: YOU Make an Impact!

It's time to #throwback to last year around this time. Last March I was focusing on the Points to Ponder section at the beginning of my book, It's Okay: Let's Get Real About This Thing We Call Parenting (www.itsokaybooks.com).  I was trying to figure out (and still am) where this 'author' adventure will take me.

Point #8 is incredibly important for us all to remember: You Can Be a Powerful Force.

Do you believe you are valuable? Do you know how you make a difference? Do you see the impact you make in this world?

If you answered, "No" to any of those questions, it's time for you recognize your importance and special place on this earth. You ARE valuable. You DO make a difference. You IMPACT this world every day you get out of bed!

Enjoy my thoughts from last year ...

Thursday, March 28th, 2013

You Can Be A Powerful Force

Points to Ponder #8- You can be a powerful force

We sometimes feel so small and insignificant.  We can easily talk ourselves into believing that we don't make a difference.  The things that rattle around in our brain can cause us to think we are not important to others.  Things like, "No one will notice if I'm not there," or "Why should I even go, they don't need me?"

We make excuse after excuse about how we are not worthy, how others can do it better and how our life isn't as important as others.

STOP!  You are important.  You DO make a difference.

Every where you go, every person you see, every job you do ... it can and should be meaningful.  Even just a trip to the grocery story can impact a handful of people. Your smile or kind words might be the only thing a person needed to turn his/her day around. Your kind gesture could cause a ripple effect of random acts of kindness all over your city.

You and you alone, need to decide that you DO make a difference; that your presence IS needed.

It is unbelievable how much power we have as people.  We can light someone up like a firecracker going off.  We can make someone feel on top of the world.  BUT, we can also blow out the only dim light that may have been present in a soul.  While we need to believe that we are important and can make a difference, we also have to realize that our difference may not be a good one. We have to use our power carefully.

Last week, I was helping my daughter sell Girl Scout cookies at a booth. A man was leaving and debating whether or not to purchase from these adorable little girls. He stopped and said, "You know, I don't need any cookies, but here's money for a box. Tell the next person walking by that he/she gets a free box of cookies."

The little girls were blown away. That man's free box turned in over 10 people paying it forward.  He made such a difference ... all for $3.50. Not only did he affect multiple people in the store that day, but he taught my daughter a most valuable lesson first hand. She saw the great impact that a small gesture can make!

You DO make a difference. Never believe that you don't. Remember to be careful with your power and use it in the most positive way you can! 

#tuesdaytip: Live Life Young!

It's easy to use age as an excuse to skip out on living! Why? Why should we let our age define who we are and what we are capable of?

This Tuesday, let's all remember to live life young. Let's go back to our youth and remember what life is really all about.

Playing too long. Laughing too loud. Running too fast. Smelling too many flowers. Exploring the 'why' and 'how' of life. Asking ridiculous questions. Wearing mismatched clothes. Watching favorite shows (over and over and over).

The list could go on and on.

When we are able to live our lives young, it is impossible to take for granted the millions of blessing surrounding us. Little people are not confined to the prim and proper. They can explore and love and create and design and live life fully.

Schedules. Obligations. Due dates. Deadlines. Routines.

Blah. Blah. Blah.

Let's not life duties define how we live our lives. Let's instead, complete the things that must be done, but leave time and energy to actually appreciate the beauty life has to offer.

Today ... laugh a little harder than you have recently; try something new; let yourself be a younger version of the responsible adult you have become.

It's okay to do something people your age wouldn't normally do. It's okay to laugh so hard your face and belly hurt. It's okay to remember to live life young!

Live life young! Let loose- go back to your youth. 

#laughoutloud #taketimetosmelltheroses #explore 

Be proud of your age, but don't act it!

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

 

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#marriagemonday: Why Did You Fall In Love With ME?

This picture was posted on Facebook a few months ago. I shared it on my personal page, knowing that someday it would make for a great #marriagemonday photo!

"What in the hell did you see in me? I used to think I was kind of cool, but I was just a big dork."

This was my husbands comment to me after looking through some of our old photos the other day.

I laughed (very loudly) and told him he'd always be cool to me (then I laughed again!).

On Saturday, my son had a friend over to play. I opened a box of Girl Scout cookies to have all the kids share. There were three left over. I offered them to my husband, but he didn't want any at the time. I, of course, did not let them go to waste and polished off the last three.

He actually asked Sunday where the rest of the cookies were. My comment, "Seriously, how long have we been married? When have I ever saved a dessert?"

It was his turn to laugh. I DO NOT share dessert. In fact, if there were only one of something left, I would eat it without any regrets. I was the youngest of four children ... food should not wait to be eaten (or it will be eaten before you have a chance to enjoy it).

My husband sat in wonder for a moment. He commented that I don't show my love for him by sharing dessert and wondered how I DO show that I love him.

"Are you serious?" The light-hearted conversation was going to go south quickly. Luckily he was chuckling at me the whole time.

I began to list all the zillions of things I do around the house- scheduling, budgeting, cleaning, laundry, cooking. Then I mentioned phone calls and texts and e-mails.

We both ended up laughing when he said that phone calls didn't count since I never answer when he calls lately (this was extremely funny since I've been missing ALL phone calls because something is amiss with my ringer!).

At some point in all of our relationships with our spouses, something changed from 'falling in love' to just 'being in love'. When we all 'fell' in love, there was excitement and adventure and unknown. Now, we KNOW it all AND we are still with them!!!!!

Surely our marriages still have excitement and adventure, but life is life. Bills must be paid. Laundry must be washed. Houses must be cleaned. Obligations must be met. These things must go on within our married lives.

The question, then, "How do you show love to your spouse?", is a tricky one. I immediately jumped to the completion of 'tasks' as a way to show my love. Yeah, right. That's not love. That's life.

I do call, text and e-mail my hubby often, but his question has left me pondering what I could be doing better. It's easy to get caught up in all that must be done and even easier to forget what could be done.

So, I'm encouraging you (and myself) to continue the 40-day 'love your spouse' challenge. When lent started, I blogged about doing something special each day for your spouse for 40 days. At first, I was great. I started his car, sent little love e-mails and texts ... and then, I forgot that I was supposed to be doing extra special things for the extra special person in my life.

Answer the question, "How do you show love to your spouse?" If, like me, you start to list the zillion life tasks you do to make life a success- reevaluate. I know I will reflect on this question for many days to come and I hope you do, too!

If you have any great ideas for the rest of us to learn from, leave a comment or e-mail me (teresahamilton@itsokaybooks.com). Next week maybe there will be some great advice for all of us!

How do you show your love for your spouse? 

Is it more than just completion of daily life tasks? 

#makeaneffort  #makeitlast #nomoremonotony

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

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#fridayfolly: I Slowed Down!

It's Friday ... time again for me to reflect on the week; the good, the bad and the ugly! This week, though, I think my #folly is actually a #wonder!

Spring break week was upon us- yippee!

Our family needed a week of no rushing and a little relaxation. Why, you might ask, is it bad that I slowed down? The answer ... it isn't! It's wonderful. The problem is that it's back to the grind on Monday and I don't know that I'm prepared to get out of my 'slow down' state (which, again, might not be all that bad)!

This week was full of fun: parks, pool, movie, gym time, zoo, indoor play place, lunch with dad, basement playing, coloring and lots of sit-down time. While we had our moments of sibling squabbles, overall it was a huge success. Yeah, us!

Weeks like this are what life is all about. It's important to remember, though, that life is not one big vacation. Life still has responsibilities, obligations and LOTS of things to pay for. 

The struggle in life is realizing how to balance. It's understanding when it's time to work and when it's time to play. The unfortunate thing for me, is that I sometimes forget how to let things go in order to enjoy playtime. 

I know next week, the you-know-what is going to hit the fan. All the things that I dreadfully avoided this week (when I could have got them done) are going to catch up to me and stress me out. I hope next week I'm not writing a #fridayfolly about me spoiling too many days with my crabby attitude.

Just in case I forget why this week was so wonderful, I'll share my top 10 lessons learned from living life just a little bit slower!

10. Coffee tastes so much better on the couch curled up in pj's than it does being chugged in the car rushing too and fro!

             I must remember to JUST SIT and ENJOY. 

9. Helping a child complete a task or homework is far more rewarding when the mind isn't racing about a million other things needing to be done. 

             I must remember to BE PRESENT!

8. Being together is more fun than being along- no matter what you are doing. 

             I must remember NOT to take my obnoxious family for GRANTED. 

7. Parks are way better when they are played on- 'tickle monster' never gets old. 

             I must remember to PLAY!

6. Harsh, mean words stick far longer than sweet, kind comments. 

             I must remember to be a LOVING example for my kiddos (kindness does spread). 

5. Life moves too quickly, but slowing down and skipping chores allows for more enjoyment.

             I must remember to LIVE in the MOMENT (and let the dishes sit)!

4. Sometimes doing 'nothing', leads to hours of productive imaginative play. 

             I must remember to STAY PUT and JUST BE. 

3. Being frugal is a great money saver, but sometimes it's okay (and easier) to just splurge. 

             I must remember it's okay to SPEND our well-earned money. 

2. Family is most important, but friends can bring out the best in each member. 

             I must remember to MAKE TIME for friends. 

1. Morning snuggles are precious and start the day on the right foot. 

           I must remember to HUG my children every single morning!

Do less #lovemore 

Slow down #increaseappreciation 

Count blessings #noticemoregood 

Things don't matter #relationshipsdo 

Don't waste #taketime

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

 

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#throwbackthursday: Love Your Imperfect Self!

Many times throughout the last year, I referred to my '1000 thanks' challenge. I'm still working on completing the darn thing, but it's fun to head back to where it started.

Last year at this time I was writing about the Points to Ponder section at the beginning of the book. Number four is a great reminder that we are who we are. We should always strive to be the very best we can be, but we also need to be realistic about the strengths and limitations we were blessed with. 

This #throwbackthursday, when the sun is shining bright and the weather is near perfect, remember to be thankful for as many things as you can in your world. No one has the perfect life, but certainly, we can love the imperfectness that is totally, 100% ours!

Saturday, March 23rd, 2013

Perfection Is Not Possible, But Don't Give Up Trying

Points to Ponder #4- Perfection is not possible, but don't give up trying

Perfection does not exist!  Being perfect is not possible.  No person on earth is perfect.  We all mess-up.  We are all full of error.  We all make mistakes.  Quit beating yourself up for not being someone you aren't.  Accept your strengths, your gifts and your blessings.  BUT ... you must also accept your limitations.  You cannot and should not be able to do it, be it all and then have time to post it all!

It's okay to admit that you don't have the perfect house, marriage, job, kids, etc.  No one does.  Just because you do not have the perfect life does not mean that you don't have a million things to be thankful for.  My points to ponder #4 talks about church in the book.  It mentions how church becomes a major source of angst for many families.  Children CANNOT sit through an hour of mass being perfect.  Heck, my husband can't even make it through mass without cracking an inappropriate joke.  Accept it.  Live with it.  And then try to embrace what it is good.

I'm reading a book in my bible study group called One Thousand Gifts, by Ann Voskamp (www.aholyexperience.com).  This author does a wonderful job reminding the reader to appreciate what is around you every moment of every day (even the bad stuff).  In her book she is challenged to write 1000 things she is thankful for.  I have been working on my list and am on 275.  I have to admit, when I am focused on the blessings, I am much more content to not be perfect and to enjoy the imperfections life has to offer that are so wonderful.  Sounds twisted, I know.  But it is so true.  This author has dared me to live fully right where I am at.  I not there yet, but I'm not going to give up trying either.   

So, give it up.  Love your imperfect self.  Love your imperfect family.  Love your imperfect job.  Love your imperfect house.  Love it all ... because it's all yours to be thankful for!  Don't give up trying to be the best you can be, but embrace your strengths and limitations and find the balance in between them that leaves you feeling content!

#tbt
#pointstoponder
#perfectionisnotpossible
#dontgiveuptrying
Love yourself, imperfections & all!
Visit http://www.itsokaybooks.com  for more :)

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

 

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#tuesdaytip: It's The Effort That Counts

 

 All day I have avoided this blog like the plague. It's not that I haven't began typing more than ten times; rather it's that I haven't been able to get past the first sentence. 

I think I am struggling to offer a tip, when truly, I have a question (or several). 

How do we know if someone is putting in her maximum effort? Who are we to judge if a person is doing his best. When did we become all-knowing for what others should be capable of? 

These questions are the ones I am asking myself over and over and over. Yet, I still feel that I am NOT getting a maximum effort out of one of my children. Today I've been unable to write because I don't know what to think about the concept of 'effort'. 

Certainly when we participate in an activity, complete a task at work or finish a household chore, we are able to judge the amount of effort we put into it. More than likely the outcome matches the effort, hard work and attitude we had when doing it. After years of living, you start to realize that you get out of something about as much as you put into it. 

Church, friendships, work outcomes, exercising, dieting, marriage ... just to name a few ... when things are not going right in these areas, chances are, you're not contributing much effort, hard work or positivity. And you'll only have as much success as you are allowing. 

If we all struggle with putting in effort to each part of our lives, how can we judge others or assume how much effort is being given?

I'm really torn about some negative thoughts I am having about my child's hard work in a recent activity. I wonder why I can't just be happy for her growth. I wonder why I'm doubting so much that her best effort was being contributed. I wonder if at some level I am wanting her to be something or someone she is not. Who am I to say if her drive in life is wrong just because it is different than my own?

My daughter has an wondrous go-with-the-flow attitude. She is book smart and creative and quirky. She is kind, caring, responsible and respectful. She can remember any fact she has read or heard. She loves life and sees a bright future for herself. She's not overly meticulous or picky. She doesn't have to have everything in a certain order but keeps things where she can find them. She's wiling to try new things and likes new adventures.

Knowing all this, why am I still struggling?

I think it's because she doesn't do things how I would do them. I can go with a lot of 'flows', but my get-up-and-go is not relaxed and laid back. I'm a getter-done type girl. And if I want something, I don't sit back; rather I jump to the stars. 

Whew. Effort. It's not my job to say how much she is putting in. But, it is my job to support her, love her and encourage her to always be her best. 

Thanks, blog readers, for letting me work through that one! Have a great Hump Day tomorrow. Offer your best effort to as much of your life as you can. Remember, you can't be it all and do it all with every ounce of hard work, effort and positivity you have (and neither can my daughter)!

#hardwork #positiveattitude #effort 

add these 3 things to as many parts of life as possible- 

assume others are doing the same

 #bestwecando

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

 

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#marriagemonday: Do You Both Believe?

This quote by Marilyn Monroe definitely says it all!

Do you and your spouse both believe that everything happens for a reason? Do you look back and find that all the stars aligned just perfectly so that you two could end up together?

My husband is involved in a local bass club ... yes, BASS club. He is a fisher. And a darn good one.

Saturday night we ventured off to his yearly Bass Club banquet. It's unfortunate that we had to go there right from my daughter's basketball game where I had to be dressed like a coach. I suppose after all these years of marriage, it's lucky that it doesn't matter WHAT I wear, only that we get occasional time together alone.

As we were chitchatting before dinner, the concept of high school sweethearts popped up. We were asked if that was how we met. I chuckled and stated pretty plainly that we met at our first job. A man then kindly inquired, "So what's the story?"

I was ready to blow the question off, but found myself wanting to share some tidbits of our love story.

What's your love story? How did you and your spouse meet? Who pursued who?

I've wondered more than once if the events that led up to my first job were different, if I would have ever had the opportunity to meet my better half. It seems that the cards weren't in my favor, and yet, it all happened for a reason.

I went to a college I couldn't afford. Then studied abroad when I had never left the country. Coming back, I wanted nothing more than to change the world. I chose to student teach at a school in a low income area. And then- I didn't apply or pursue any other school or district but that one. It was there that it all happened!

My spouse and I are firm believers that everything happens for a reason. No matter what deck we are dealt, if we stick together, somehow we will end up better than we were before.

This #marriagemonday, I hope your marriage is stacked with a strong deck of cards; with many in your favor. And, if you happen to draw a low card or one that throws off your stack, I hope that the strength of your marriage can make up the difference.

Whatever is happening in your world, try to move through it together; as a unit. We are certainly more powerful together than we are alone. Believe in one another. Believe in your bond. Believe in the marriage you created!

How are things in your married world? 

Is life throwing curve balls? 

Are you leaning on your better half for support? 

#mm #believeineachother

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

 

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#fridayfolly: I Blinked!

Obviously my first folly is that I'm late on my #fridayfolly and last week I missed it all together! :)

The last few weeks, well months really, have been a little bit of a blur; flying by in almost a blink. I remember thinking that March was so far off and now it is well underway. 

As I look back, I think I appreciated many moments (in between moments of madness and chaos!). We had lots of successes; family dinners, kids' events, Friday movie nights, positive school conference comments, a few game nights, chats about good days, singing contests, family dance-offs ... even lots of loving, hugging and giggling moments. 

When I brainstorm all the times of appreciation, the things that DON'T come to mind: the sporadic times when the house was clean, the few instances when the laundry was all washed and put away, the success of planning logistics for over 15 events in one week, etc. These things didn't come to mind, yet these were the very things that I know spoiled my enjoyment of the moments that REALLY mattered. 

Life is certainly a rat race. There is no way around the fact that there will always be more to do than there is time to get it done. We can't live our weeks waiting for the weekend and then live our weekends dreading the preparation needed to go back to work. 

I realized the other day that I blinked. I let the last few months happen with too much wait, too much dread and not enough appreciation. 

Last year when I was home full-time, I made a conscious effort to do less. And, in doing less, I actually appreciated more. I remember some days being VERY long and some weeks taking FOREVER. But, the slowed pace actually allowed me to remember more. It gave me more opportunities for loving, memorable moments. 

Sometimes we can't remove events or obligations. Sometimes the pace of life is out of our control. When this happens, we get to choose how quickly we live our weeks. We can choose to slow our thinking down. We can choose to live life with joy and appreciation, rather than wait and dread. 

Spring break officially starts today for myself and my kids. There are a million things I'd like to get done. But, I don't want to blink and have this week pass me by. Rather than rushing to complete tasks that won't mean anything next month, I'm going to strive to appreciate as many moments as possible. 

When my kids are driving me crazy and my house looks like a tornado just blew through, I'm going to reread this darn blog and try to remember that if I blink too long, my kids are going to be grown and gone. 

Lent started last Wednesday. I chose to lay in bed with my son for a few minutes when he asked (too often I tell him I have too much to do ...) and he told me about his idea for what all the kids should do. "Mom, I think we should all try to be nicer to one another and do nice things for each other." Here! Here!

So, my folly (not just for this week- but the last few months) is that I have taken for granted the very things that bring me the most joy. It wasn't all the time, but there were moments I spoiled with my very own overwhelmed self. 

Each week brings us a fresh new start. Let's work together; let's remind one another what life is really all about. I'm going to strive to complete only the necessary life tasks, and use the rest of my time appreciating the moments. 

Spring is almost here- time for me to grow with the added sunlight, warmer weather and blooming nature. 

Careful not to blink- moments of appreciation will pass u by 

#trytoslowdown Don't let life's obstacles interfere with joy & wonder #taketime

 

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

 

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#throwbackthursday: We All Make Mistakes!

Thursday is here AGAIN ... already! What happens to the weeks? 

A year ago I was attempting to promote my first book, It's Okay: Let's Get Real About This Thing We Call Parenting. I was also trying to figure out what in the heck to blog about besides all my inadequacies. 

So ... I began blogging about my Points to Ponder section at the beginning of my book. This section has ten ideas that I wanted fresh in the readers mind, BEFORE he/she started thinking the worst about every person who contributed stories for my book .

Points to Ponder #1 is Be Thoughtful With Your Words. This section encourages the reader to think before speaking and understand that words really can hurt. It's also a reminder that no one is perfect and sometimes others will hurt us unintentionally with their words. We need to be mindful of both. 

Points to Ponder #2 is explained below ... enjoy my year old thoughts :)

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Don't Judge Me Just Because My Mistakes Are Different Than Yours

Points To Ponder #2:  Don't judge me just because my mistakes are different than yours

The second Points To Ponder section addresses judgment.  Before sharing the hilarious stories that were submitted by over 40 contributors, I wanted readers to be in the right frame of mind.  It took courage and personal strength to share stories of embarrassment, shame and frustration.  While my book is intended to be funny, it also has a very deep message.  As parents (well even just as human beings), we are constantly looking around at others.  We are creating judgments about others or assuming things of others and then judging ourselves.

The judgment needs to stop.  God created us each differently.  He hand-picked the make-up of who we are.  We all have different strengths and things we are good at.  But, we also each have limitations and things that we are not, and will never be, good at.  It's okay.  We don't have to be perfect.  We don't have to do it.  We don't have to look, act or feel like our friends and neighbors.  We get to be us!  Just our imperfect little selves.

So, if we are not perfect and we can live with that fact, then maybe we will start to realize that other people can't be perfect either.  There are people in the world who will do things that we do not agree with.  That's okay.  People will do things that we would never do.  That's okay, too.  The world goes round because of the differences that exist.  We are lucky to live in a world where no two people are the same.

The thing about judgment that is crucial to remember: we have no idea what is going on in other people's lives.  We cannot effectively judge them because we do not completely know them.  It's not fair to assume things about people around you.  It's not fair not to give everyone the benefit of the doubt.  I know not all people are good- but darn it, most people in the world are doing the best they can with the strengths and limitations they have been blessed with!

Don't judge me just because my mistakes are different than yours.

#tuesdaytip: Let It Go!

As I was driving my little lady to daycare this morning, my #tuesdaytip sang its way into my heart!

For those of you that have not been fortunate enough to see the move 'Frozen' ... you MUST; you absolutely MUST. It's got a fabulous story line and even better music.

My two-year-old is in love with the main song, Let It Go (click here to listen). She asked this morning to listen to it on my phone in the car (and secretly, I really wanted to listen to it, too!). So I pulled up the YouTube video for about the thousandth time this month.

As the song blared from the backseat, it dawned on me how meaningful and heartfelt the words are for not only the movie, but for life.

Now, I know we are not living in a fairytale, with magical powers we have to keep hidden in order to reign over our kingdoms ... BUT, we do hold in valuable parts of ourselves in order to preserve what others think of us. Almost like living a lie or not telling the whole truth; afraid of what others would think of us if they REALLY knew.

We all face struggles. Each of us has our own issues. Our limitations will continue to challenge us.

Why do we try to cover for all of our flaws? What if we just got 'real' about who we REALLY are- bad parts and all?

Sure there will be judgment. Of course, others might think less of us. But, shame on them for their thoughts and shame on us for not being okay with who we really are.

We belted out the lyrics together this morning. And my mind raced with a few of my errors this week. I smiled as I heard the exact words I needed to hear, "Let it go!"

For today; for this Tuesday, try to let it go.

Let go of fears holding you back from sharing the 'real' you.
Let go of past failures standing in the way of future successes.
Let go of mistakes weighing on your mind.
Let go of the idea that you can be anything but YOU!

Let it go :)

 

It's time to let it go-we cannot #haveitall #beitall 

We must strive to just #bewhoweare 

Learn from your past & embrace your present journey!

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

 

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