"What in the hell did you see in me? I used to think I was kind of cool, but I was just a big dork."
This was my husbands comment to me after looking through some of our old photos the other day.
I laughed (very loudly) and told him he'd always be cool to me (then I laughed again!).
On Saturday, my son had a friend over to play. I opened a box of Girl Scout cookies to have all the kids share. There were three left over. I offered them to my husband, but he didn't want any at the time. I, of course, did not let them go to waste and polished off the last three.
He actually asked Sunday where the rest of the cookies were. My comment, "Seriously, how long have we been married? When have I ever saved a dessert?"
It was his turn to laugh. I DO NOT share dessert. In fact, if there were only one of something left, I would eat it without any regrets. I was the youngest of four children ... food should not wait to be eaten (or it will be eaten before you have a chance to enjoy it).
My husband sat in wonder for a moment. He commented that I don't show my love for him by sharing dessert and wondered how I DO show that I love him.
"Are you serious?" The light-hearted conversation was going to go south quickly. Luckily he was chuckling at me the whole time.
I began to list all the zillions of things I do around the house- scheduling, budgeting, cleaning, laundry, cooking. Then I mentioned phone calls and texts and e-mails.
We both ended up laughing when he said that phone calls didn't count since I never answer when he calls lately (this was extremely funny since I've been missing ALL phone calls because something is amiss with my ringer!).
At some point in all of our relationships with our spouses, something changed from 'falling in love' to just 'being in love'. When we all 'fell' in love, there was excitement and adventure and unknown. Now, we KNOW it all AND we are still with them!!!!!
Surely our marriages still have excitement and adventure, but life is life. Bills must be paid. Laundry must be washed. Houses must be cleaned. Obligations must be met. These things must go on within our married lives.
The question, then, "How do you show love to your spouse?", is a tricky one. I immediately jumped to the completion of 'tasks' as a way to show my love. Yeah, right. That's not love. That's life.
I do call, text and e-mail my hubby often, but his question has left me pondering what I could be doing better. It's easy to get caught up in all that must be done and even easier to forget what could be done.
So, I'm encouraging you (and myself) to continue the 40-day 'love your spouse' challenge. When lent started, I blogged about doing something special each day for your spouse for 40 days. At first, I was great. I started his car, sent little love e-mails and texts ... and then, I forgot that I was supposed to be doing extra special things for the extra special person in my life.
Answer the question, "How do you show love to your spouse?" If, like me, you start to list the zillion life tasks you do to make life a success- reevaluate. I know I will reflect on this question for many days to come and I hope you do, too!
If you have any great ideas for the rest of us to learn from, leave a comment or e-mail me (teresahamilton@itsokaybooks.com). Next week maybe there will be some great advice for all of us!
How do you show your love for your spouse?
Is it more than just completion of daily life tasks?
Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'.
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