Marriage Monday: What's Your Love Language?

Do you know your love language?

What makes you feel most loved?

Is it when you get affirmed by words? Does physical touch make your heart burst? Do you feel most loved when you are given gifts? Or is it more about the quality time you spend with your loved one?

What is it? What's your love language?

More than likely your love language is not the same as your spouse's (another added challenge to an already difficult arena).

It is critical that you understand your own needs, but just as important that you understand the needs of that person you vowed to love until death. AND ... we must not forget that understanding is just the beginning ... there is also the piece of actually meeting each others needs once we understand them!

Author Gary Chapman wrote an amazing book; The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Spouse. In this book he details how to understand and fulfill the needs of your spouse in order to better your marriage.

The five love languages are as follows ... 

Words of Affirmation: This language uses words to affirm other people.

Acts of Service: For these people, actions speak louder than words.

Receiving Gifts: For some people, what makes them feel most loved is to receive a gift.

Quality Time: This language is all about giving the other person your undivided attention.

Physical Touch: To this person, nothing speaks more deeply than appropriate touch.

You may easily be able to pinpoint the language that makes your spouse feel most loved. OR maybe you can't. It's okay if don't know. It's okay if you have to ask. It's okay to communicate about how each of you feel most loved.

Does your spouse know your love language? Does he/she meet your needs? Are you feeling loved today?

Tonight while preparing this blog, I quizzed my husband. His loving comment, "Well, maybe if you did any of those things, I'd be able to tell you how I feel most loved."

JERK!

My guess, though, for his language was right on! I know what makes him feel most loved ... I just don't always take the time to meet his needs.

So, my hope for you (and me) this week is to first recognize what makes your spouse feel most loved. And, second, actually do it! Be there in whatever capacity he/she needs. Not only be there for the number one area, but in all areas.

Couldn't we all benefit from affirmation? Wouldn't it be nice to be 'shown' that you are loved? Small gifts can speak loudly and don't always require a lot of money ... give a special something. Quality time can be hard to come by, but five minutes of undivided attention can say a lot about how much love there is to offer. Finally, be intimate with your spouse; a kiss on the cheek, an extra snuggle in the morning ... take time to be there.

Have a story about how different you and your spouse are? Need to share a time you two were speaking completely different languages? Visit www.itsokaybooks.com and click on the 'Share Your Story' tab or e-mail me directly at teresahamilton@itsokaybooks.com. Your story could be a part of the upcoming It's Okay: Let's Get Real About This Thing We Call Marriage book!

 

 

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

 

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