#throwbackthursday: Continual Reflection On What Life Is All About

 It's time for another look back!

#throwbackthursday is here yet again. It's been so fun to read about my adventures from a year ago. Last year, I was home full-time with my kids and experienced a different pace than I had ever traveled. 

As I read my thoughts from last year, I realize that while my blogging 'style' has changed, my thinking has not. 

Certainly, it's refreshing to remember why I started this journey, to reflect on what's working in this path and to explore where my future road will lead. 

Have an amazing 'almost' Friday!

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

What's it all about?

As I'm preparing to publish my book, It's Okay: Let's Get Real About This Thing We Call Parenting, I am constantly asking myself what defines the life I am living.  While I am incredibly excited to get my book out to the public and to share the message I so passionately believe in, I still struggle with what defines me.  The whole premise of the book is that life is hard.  That we will mess-up.  That we will question what in life we are doing that is worth something.  Why aren't we ever satisfied?

In the book, I talk about how one thing cannot and should not define who we are.  There is a section that talks about what 'good days' are and how my good days might look very different than your good days.  Why am I on top of the world some days and overwhelmed by the very idea of completing life other days?  Why can't I appreciate what I have and who I am consistently on a daily basis?

My goal for this blog once the book is published is to write weekly about 'real' things that are happening in my life.  It's hard to admit when we feel like we have failed.  It's hard to admit that we are not living up to the standard that we set for ourselves.  But, where does this standard come from?  It definitely cannot be from what we see others accomplishing around us.  It has to be what we decide for ourselves.  What we want to be within our capabilities.  While we are blessed with many gifts and talents, we are also confined to our limitations.  We cannot be what others are ... we have to be happy with who we are and what we are able to do.

I hope that someone out there is questioning her day.  I hope that she can read this and realize that if she is doing the best she can, that is enough.  She does not have to be it all, have it all and do it all.  She can be content to just live her life, to enjoy the blessings she has been given (limitations and all), and be proud of what she has accomplished in her life.  Bad days will happen.

It's okay to struggle.  It's okay to be overwhelmed.  It's okay to take a break.  It's okay to know you are doing the best you can do.  It's okay to not be perfect.

It's okay!

 Take this #tbt to reflect on your years past. 

Be proud of how far you've come, who you are today & how your failures have turned out okay!

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

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#tuesdaytip: Know Your Purpose ... Enjoy the Heck Out of Fulfilling It!

It doesn't matter WHAT we do, rather it's HOW we do it!

Knowing your purpose is about understanding your strengths and using them as often as and in as many parts of your life as possible.

Many people look to their jobs to find their purpose- from the time we are little we are asked, "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

What if our answer was simply, "I want to be ... happy!"

An amazing young man challenges the educational system (and or entire societal set-up) by trying to accurately answer the question that leads most people to their purpose. Click here to view Logan Laplante's idea for allowing children to find their purpose through more than just 'what you want to be' for a job.

Purpose comes in the way you live your life and how you tackle the monotony of day to day living.

The last two Rules in The Energy Bus, by Jon Gordon (www.theenergybus.com) can leave us rejuvenated and ready to embrace the challenges that face us daily. Joy was the bus driver I introduced weeks ago in the #tuesdaytip. She took the main character George under her wing and shared her rules for living a life full of positive energy.

George was in a bad place ... marriage on the ropes, job about to be lost, relationships with his children questionable ... the guy couldn't find good in any part of his life. Not only could he not find the good, but he was completely focused on the bad; living with no purpose and not enjoying any of the blessings surrounding him.

Rules #1-8 remind us that we are the only ones in control of our lives; we get to choose where our life goes; we have the opportunity to fuel our lives with positive energy; we must invite others into our world; we must not be swayed by the negativity surrounding us; we must be enthusiastic about the opportunities presented to us; and we must love people in our lives, even when it is difficult.

Knowing the first eight rules can excite us to know and embrace the last two!

Rule #9: Drive With Purpose
Rule #10: Enjoy The Ride

Joy was a bus driver. Some might say this job is not important or full of purpose. How wrong are those people? She changed lives! She had a great deal of purpose in her life and didn't see herself as 'just a bus driver'. She lived every day as an opportunity to enjoy her blessings, share her knowledge and love her life!

The other day I made a comment that I still regret. "Well, I'm JUST a school counselor."

I was quickly reminded that 'just' needed to be taken out of my sentence! My job is as important as I make it. My purpose is more than a job. I am ... a daughter, a sister, a friend, a wife, a mother, a teacher, a counselor, a volunteer, a coach ... and, and, and ... and, a darn good butt wiper!

Every part of our life can have purpose- if we let it. Enjoyment comes from our perception of what is happening around us. We will get as much out of life as we put into it. Each activity we encounter can provide us joy- again, if we let it!

How would you finish the following sentence?

I am a ...

Go on, list as many as you can. It's pretty amazing how long the list can get if you really think about it. Hopefully you find purpose in your paid job, but your purpose is so much more than a job title!

What enjoyment are you finding in your life right now? How could you find more joy in the areas you are struggling?

This Tuesday, challenge yourself to admit and embrace your purpose. Try hard to enjoy life as it's passing you by. Life is too short to look back with regret. Live each day as if it's your last and LOVE the heck out the people who make your life worth living.

Each day is a new opportunity to showcase your strengths & fulfill your purpose. 

Enjoy as many moments as you can! #lifeisaride #holdontight

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

 

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#marriagemonday: He Read My Heart.

I have heard from more than several friends, "He would do anything I ask him to do. I'm just tired of asking. I just wish he would know what to do and DO it without being asked."

Okay, wives ... how many of you have been here?

You have a husband that is willing to do just about anything you ask him to do (now granted, he will still do it on his own time and his own terms!). BUT, after years and years of asking, you just wish he would get a clue?

Last Monday, the whole family was off. Off from school. Off from work. A day to enjoy life. We opted to see a family movie and enjoy a family lunch date. We also had hopes to get the housework done for the week.

I was working upstairs on laundry, bathrooms and vacuuming. The hubby was supposed to be working on the playroom in the basement with the aid of the children.

He put the kids to work and decided to clean behind the stove. Yep. BEHIND the stove. Who cleans behind the stove? Now, I could see if we were doing some spring cleaning or getting a house ready for a showing ... but we are talking about needing to get the BASIC weekly cleaning done.

Fine. Behind the stove was clean- however, the main level and basement WERE NOT! So, off we went to the movies and lunch. When we returned, he assured me the rest would get done.

I came down from finishing an upstairs task. I was right in the middle of three other tasks. He was supposed to STILL be working on getting the basement clean.

"What are we doing with all this stuff on top of the fridge?"

I was fuming. I ranted. I grabbed. I huffed. I cleaned off the top of the refrigerator and stormed off to finish my million other tasks.

Long story short ... he wanted the top of the fridge cleaned so that he could clean behind it. Yep. We have a clean floor UNDER the stove and behind the refrigerator!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, he also cleaned a spot on the basement floor I haven't taken notice to in months.

I tell you all this because it leads to my point (finally, I know) that I assumed my husband knew exactly what I wanted him to help me clean. I got mad when he had his own agenda. The funny thing is, the things he did needed to be done sometime- I just didn't feel they were that important when I had a list of thousands of other tasks needing to be done just to make our week functional.

It was my bad! He couldn't read my mind and I was extremely irritated by something that is completely out of his control.

Our week continued to be rocky. A sick kick. A sick husband. Maybe it was just me who was rocky and thrown out of my normal routine (I've come too attached to being in control ... a thing I have to let go of with four growing children)!

Friday night I looked at my husband completely defeated. "Honey, do you think I am a complete nutcase? Am I crazy or something? What is WRONG with me? We are so lucky and I can't make myself be grateful about one damn thing."

Maybe he can't read my 'cleaning/housework' mind, but he certainly knows how to read my heart. He assured me I wasn't crazy or a nut-job. He reminded me that we have changes occurring around us and it affects us all differently. He told me what I needed to hear, "It's okay. Your okay. It was just a long week."

Would we really want our spouses to be able to read our minds? Certainly we aren't always thinking loving things! Communicating is all part of the process and essential to the whole, 'til death do us part' thing. It's not so bad to have to ask- especially if our spouses are willing to help.

Now, reading our hearts is a whole different ballgame. We DO need to know our spouses emotional needs. We ABSOLUTELY need to try to comfort our spouses tender heart. We are in this marriage together and teamwork is essential. Complimenting each other with our strengths is what makes us a unit (and what will also be our nemesis some days, weeks or years).

This #marriagemonday, recognize what a great team you make. Be grateful for the support your better half provides (even if it's not exactly the support you were hoping for). Take time to check in on each others emotions and heartfelt needs. Don't try to read minds- ask if you don't know or communicate if you need help. Be there for one another in every way you can.

Spouses can't read our minds- we might have to ask.

 Our hearts might need attention & extra love- our better half will recognize & provide.

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

 

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#fridayfolly: It's Okay To Just Be YOU!

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

We were each born into this world and became a special and unique person. We are all blessed with amazing strengths which set us apart from everyone else. Each of us have limitations that require us to lean on other individuals for support.

No one on this earth is perfect. No one has a life that is better for one reason or another. Comparisons, judgment and perception take us to dark places.

Whether we are in a place of worrying about what others think or we are in a place judging what others are doing ... we need to stop.

More than likely we are all just doing the best darn job we can. We have to accept who we are- limitations and all. We have to be willing to seek out our strengths- and choose to use them.

The serenity prayer has three words that I think are tremendously important in being okay with who we are. Accept. Courage. Wisdom.

The first step to loving ourselves is accepting the person we have become. We must embrace our past, celebrate our present and look forward to good things to come in our future. We must believe in ourselves and know that we are who we are for a reason. Only we can ACCEPT and be the best we can be! No one can do that for us.

If we can accept ourselves, then we must have courage to BE ourselves. This requires us to look at our wondrous, beautiful parts and also our dark, scared parts. We may have gifts that are going unshared. We must be courageous; willing to fail a time or two in order to best utilize the strengths we were given.
Examining our limitations is also necessary and being strong enough to attempt to better ourselves.

Finally, we must use our wisdom. We all have it. It might be hidden deep. We might be scared to admit that we know what we are good at. We might be fearful of making mistakes along the way or letting others see who we really are. We might worry that others will love us less if they know who we REALLY are. Being wise allows us to put the fear aside, try our hardest and know the things that are within our control to change.

It's time for us all to just be OKAY with who we are.

Forget the worry. Forget the judgment. And just be proud to be you!

Happy Friday. I admit I often forget to celebrate my redeeming qualities. I forget to appreciate the things I do well. I worry too much about what others think. I beat myself up for minor mistakes (and big ones too). But, this Friday, I'm willing to admit my folly. I'm willing to try to accept myself just the way I am (flaws and all); willing to be courageous to utilize my strengths; willing to use my wisdom to understand who I am and the areas of me that are not changeable.

I'm willing to try all this ... are you?

#worryless
#lovemore
Focus less on what others think about you.
Spend more time loving yourself for who you are!
#acceptance
#courage
#wisdom

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

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#throwbackthursday: A Look Back; A Good Laugh!

In an effort to see where I was a year ago and to share some of my favorites ... I've brought on #throwbackthursday.

The post below was my 2nd post EVER! It's crazy to think it was just a little over a year ago that I began this blogging ma-ham!  I've enjoyed the heck out of it and have learned so much (about blogging and about myself)!

So, here's an oldie but a goodie. You can definitely see why the quote by Mickey Mouse is so fitting!

Monday, February 18th, 2013

It REALLY is Okay!

Well, there's another story that can't go untold!  It all started on this beautiful Monday morning that my husband didn't have to go to work.  We had decided that we would use this Monday off to venture to the zoo.  Because we had afternoon obligations, it would have been ideal to be out the door by 9:30am so that we could arrive at the zoo right when it opened at 10:00.  I unfortunately let the stress of being on time sour our morning.  I'll recount the disastrous day the best I can!

So, I got up with the dog at 7:15 and found three of the children had just got up to enjoy cartoons.  I thought it would be nice to let my husband sleep in a little, but was somewhat frustrated that there was a lot to be done before our adventure to the zoo...most important besides a nice breakfast, an enjoyable morning home together and a lunch packing venture, was for me to take a shower.  This was needed since the days prior there had not been a decent opportunity!

My daughter reminded me that I promised pancakes.  Perfect.  Oh wait, we were out of eggs and oil.  Two necessary ingredients.  I tried to convince her that we could do pancakes the following morning, but then realized that I was out of creamer for my coffee.  So, at 8:00, I ran upstairs and let my husband know I was running to get the eggs and oil, thinking he would jump out of bed.  Wrong.  I would find my children still supervising themselves when I reentered the house a short time later.  Oh, and of course, while in my pj's at Walgreens, I found out they were out of creamer.  The kind cashier let me take 5 of the mini-creamers intended for coffee buyers so that I could at least enjoy a cup of coffee or two.

So, at home, I was rather irritated.  Although, there was not a good reason to be.  It was a nice morning and my husband deserves a morning in bed.  I shouldn't have been frustrated.  But, alas, I slaved over breakfast and gave as many huffs and dirty looks as I could.  I insisted there was no time for me to even sit down because I had to make lunches and get ready for our day...remember, I needed that shower.

After many requests for me to sit down, I reluctantly joined the family for breakfast.  Trying to enjoy this moment we rarely get of a nicely cooked breakfast and no where we really needed to be.  But, for some reason, the zoo time had etched itself in my brain and I could not let it go.  So, I told my husband I just wouldn't shower.  His irritation was growing from my terrible attitude.  After we got the kids all ready, the table cleared, the lunches made, etc, I decided to go get ready.  It was at that moment that I realized I was destroying our wonderful morning.  So, I thought that maybe it wasn't that big of deal that we didn't get to the zoo RIGHT at 10.  I went upstairs to shower.

I hurried the getting ready process along so that we would only miss our deadline by a few minutes.  My husband had got everyone in their coats.  Their shoes were on, the dog was put away and we were ready to make it out the door.  It was 9:50.  Perfect.  We'd make it by a little after 10.  My one-year-old then walked over to me as I had my hands full heading out the door.  She had her hand out and there was definitely something all over it.  I wasn't sure what it could be until I examined it closer.  Oh, dear GOD.  It was POOP.  All over her hand.  I didn't know what to do.  She had stuck her hand down the backside of her diaper and had it ALL OVER.  My husband grabbed the wipes...as if that would help with awful situation.

I took her up, somehow got her clothes off of her and then wiped her down the best I could.  I stuck her in the bath and started the wash off.  Finally, she was clean, she was dressed and we tried to exit the house yet again.  This time it was a success.  We made it to the zoo by 10:30...not too shabby and enjoyed a wonderful morning, minus the snow storm that had started while we drove there and the 50 mile an hour wind that had presented itself.  We stuck to the indoor activities and headed to the IMax at 12:15 to enjoy our lunch while we watched an awesome movie on butterflies.

I thought the day had made a remarkable turn-around.  That is until we picked up one of my daughter's friends to drop off at a girlscout event.  I grabbed my one-year-old out of the car to walk the two girls in and realized that she was SOAKING wet.  Geez.  I wrapped her coat around her and figured we wouldn't be in there long and I could handle this second diaper disaster of the day.  So we walked in and my older daughter decided it would be funny to announce the morning happenings...poop hand and all!  The mom's got a good laugh, but the joke was on me.

I got out to the car and wrangled the wet one-year-old into the car seat with her coat still wrapped around her.  It was then that I noticed her hand and her face.  She was covered in cheese.  We had eaten cheese popcorn as part of our lunch and her fingers and face were stained orange.  I am sure all the mothers in there were so disgusted, thinking that the hand was still stained or covered in the poo from the morning disaster.  I was mortified!

#tuesdaytip: Be Enthusiastic and Love, Love, Love!

Wouldn't it be something if we loved others without judgment? What would happen if the world loved more and hated less? What if there was less bullying and mean comments and negativity?

We've all done it- been less than kind to someone. Hopefully we took the opportunity to reflect on our behavior so we could do it better next time. No one is without faults. If we accept this about ourselves, why then is it such a struggle to accept it about others?

As I was scrolling the news-feed on my Facebook page Saturday morning, I came across a very brave and amazingly authentic video from Ellen Page. Click here to see how Page not only shared her own personal struggles, but also addressed how many of our young people are afraid to just be themselves. Love is somehow missing from the lives of those who need it the very most!

The last few weeks I have been updating you on my latest read, The Energy Bus, by Jon Gordon. Rules #7 and #8 reminded me of the importance EACH of us can have on others!

Rule #7: Enthusiasm Attracts More Riders and Energizes Them During The Ride
Rule #8: Love Your Passengers

Life is certainly a ride. The ride is not always as we expect it to be. Sometimes it's bumpy or dark or takes us in a direction we don't wish to go. When this happens, the one thing we can fall back on is love!

Loving ourselves and those around us will fill us with an energy that must be spread. By being enthusiastic about the good in the world, the opportunities that lie before us, the change that our work can do ... we will naturally attract others and bring their spirits up as well.

Sometimes loving others and sharing our enthusiasm is natural and almost easy. Other times, it's downright challenging. There are people that will be more than difficult to love; we must still strive to find their good. We must still fight to share our enthusiasm- we may never know how much we actually impact them.

This Tuesday, do what you can to find your vision and desire for life. Believe in yourself and where you are going. Bring positive thoughts and share your enthusiasm for the opportunities that lie before you. Share yourself, be authentic and be willing to energize others along the way. Most importantly- remember to love.

Find good in others. Say kind things (or try not to say anything at all). When you mess up or fail to be energized about your life- know that it's okay. Take a breath; take a moment; take a day; take a week; take as much time as you need to get back to a place of love. It starts with loving yourself. And sometimes, you just have to fake it to make it! Enthusiasm isn't always easy to muster, but by sharing it, you will also receive it.

 

Be enthusiastic about as much of life as you can! 

It will energize you & others.

 #Love & don't be afraid to wear your heart on your sleeve:)

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

 

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#marriagemonday: Name Calling! Really!?

I don't know that my Valentine's Day was ever diamonds ... or roses for that matter. But, we definitely used to be more romantic (or at least thoughtful) when the day of love was upon us!

We're not really drowning, just maybe constantly treading water at this time in our lives. Some days one of us has to throw out a life preserver to give the other one a short break, but then it's back to scissor kicking and crazy arm movements.

Everyone's 'busy' looks different. We really don't have anything to complain about. The family is healthy. The kids are happy. Life is good.

BUT! There is always a 'but'! But, last week I failed to remember the good and just got tired. I know it's okay to be tired. I just maybe mentioned it a few too many times to a few too many people. I recognize that I was a little bit of a Negative Nelly and my other half must have heard too much.

Friday night, the said Valentine's Day, we were content to bake a pizza at home and watch a RedBox movie. About 7:00 pm, I was about ready to call it a day!

I think my husband was trying to be supportive (in a weird sort of way). He said something about my 'woe is me' attitude and my 'tiredness'. At 7:30 he told me I should just go to bed.

I didn't want to go to bed. I just wanted to be mopey and tired. I tried explaining my tiredness and only beat the dead-horse beyond recognition.

The banter turned bad. I may have called my husband a bleeping bleep and then not talked to him until I stormed up to bed later. I ended the night on a very impressive, "Happy bleeping Valentine's Day!"

Yep. I know I am mature. It was pathetic enough that I can't even type the words. You'll all be happy to know none of this was said or done around the children (at least I have some moral fortitude)!

Saturday morning, my tiredness had subsided. My loving husband came down laughing. "So, am I still a bleeping bleep?"

That was all I needed for my day of love! A kind hug, a quick kiss and a darn good laugh.

Marriage certainly isn't all diamonds and roses and romance. Marriage isn't always hugs and kisses and laughter. Marriage isn't meant to perfect.

"A marriage is the union of two good forgivers." -Robert Quillen

"A great marriage is not when the 'perfect couple' comes together. It's when an 'imperfect' couple learns to enjoy their differences." -David Meurer

The official 'day of love' has come and gone. Certainly our marriages cannot be based on ONE day a year. Remember that love is shown in small acts of kindness; little moments are what make memories. Take time today to love your spouse- in whatever tiny way you are able. Life will continue to move at a relentless speed, but your marriage will stay strong by short pauses that only you can create!

The official 'day of love' has passed. 

We must not forget that everyday should be a day to show appreciation to our spouse. 

#taketimetolove

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

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#fridayfolly: Expect Things Won't Stay The Same

Here are some things I know are constant ...

1. My house will never look exactly the way I want it to look.

2. I won't get any skinnier eating the way I do!

3. A few good nights of rest are sure to be followed with a night of children up at all hours.

4. I will NEVER like grocery shopping.

5. There will ALWAYS be more to do than there is time or energy for.

6. Genuine appreciation comes after the moment has passed (I keep trying to be grateful as it's occurring ... but, I keep forgetting).

7. Beers always taste better with greasy foods and good friends.

8. Screwing up ... I won't ever be perfect (despite how hard I try)!

9. My family loves me despite my craziness and flawed living.

10. Change will always rock my world (no matter how small).

"The only constant in life is change." -Heraclitus


Heraclitus was a Greek philosopher alive around 500 B.C. One of the doctrines he is best known for claimed that things are constantly changing (universal flux).

I'm not much of a historian, nor do I know much about science. Heck, it's safe to say that the only thing I DO know is people. Aside from that, my memory doesn't serve me too well.

Sorry to digress about my own lack of knowledge ... my point is ... even though I'm not too smart in those areas, I'm smart enough to figure out that this man knew a heck of a lot for his time. And his quote applies to so much more than just the constant move of our universe.

Minutes. Hours. Days. Months. Seasons. Years. Age. Technology. Flavors. Colors. Cereal.

Everything changes. I can't even be sure when I go to Orange Leaf that my favorite Cookies 'N Cream flavor is going to be available.

Some fads last longer than others. Answers to math equations will never change- but who in the heck can figure out the new ways kids are supposed to solve them these days?

Change can be amazing; something good usually comes from it. Why then is going through it so difficult?

Adaptable. Flexible. Spontaneous. Go-with-the-flow. Compliant. Easygoing. Open.

Did I used to be these things? Or when you're younger are you just unaware of the difficulties that come along with the blessing of change?

All changes, no matter how small, require adjustment and work. Growth will eventually come, but not without sacrifices and some sort of loss.

Death. Medical conditions. Sick family members. Loss of income. Schedule changes. Seasonal struggles. Broken habits.

Whatever changes you are going through, chances are it's not easy. Know you are not alone. The discomfort, anxiety, worry, grief or sadness accompanying your loss is normal. Take as much time as you need. Hopefully someday you can look back and find a silver lining. Maybe one day you'll be able to pick out the good that came.

Until that day, know that it's okay if you're not 100%. It's okay if you need to indulge in some comfort food. It's okay to lean on friends and family. It's okay to admit that your change is changing you into someone you don't recognize.

This Friday, try with all your might to appreciate the changes happening in your midst. And then, after you appreciate the tiniest thing ... feel free to get real about how crappy (and downright awful) it really is!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Change! It's.The.Only.Constant. 

Even tho we know this-#itshard #itsmessy #itsuncomfortable 

We hope to one day look back on a silver-lining!

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

 

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#tuesdaytip: Surround Yourself With Good

I can't decide if I agree with this quote 100% or not. I firmly believe that we need to surround ourselves by people who lift us up (and not tear us down), but I don't think all negative people are lost souls.

After all, we all deserve a second chance.

While we cannot save the world- the only person we can change is ourselves- we can certainly foster those around us.

When we lift people up and focus on strengths, surely we can bring out their best.

However, there are some people, no matter what we do, who don't bring out OUR best. It's critical to recognize that and avoid interactions when possible. If someone is tearing you down more than building you up, it's okay to walk away. You can still be respectful while not engaging in their negative behavior.

BUT, how hard is that to figure out? How do we know if our interactions can make someone better or leave us feeling less fulfilled and drained?

The Energy Bus, (www.theenergybus.com) by Jon Gordon is a book I've been referring to the last few Tuesdays. This amazing author has covered how we are the driver of our own bus; how we move our bus in the right direction by having desire, vision and focus; how we can only fuel our bus with positive energy; and how we should invite others to join us on our bus.

And now ... what to do with people who don't WANT to get on our bus? Or how about those who try to crash our bus or steer it in the wrong direction?

Rules #5 & 6: Don't Waste Your Energy on Those Who Don't Get on Your Bus and Post a Sign That Says NO ENERGY VAMPIRES ALLOWED on Your Bus.

Energy vampires? LOVE IT! That is totally what some people do to us; drain our positive energy. We must remember that we only have control of numero uno- ourselves. We can choose to stay away from those who make us feel little and less than the wonderful people we are.

We must still try to invite everyone on our bus. We must fight to let love conquer all. BUT, we must also be realistic about our own capabilities. We can't change the world.

Keep fighting. Keep trying. Keep searching. Keep giving others the benefit of the doubt. Keep being the very best you can be. Don't let others get you down! Stay strong.

Happy Tuesday. I hope it's terrific. In the midst of this long, cold winter ... remember that spring is on its way. We can create sunny, warm days in this dark, dreary time by focusing on what's right in the world and surrounding ourselves by the darn good people that are around every corner we turn!

Surround yourself with people who lift you up and make you better. 

Spend less time with those who drain your energy. 

#youcanonlycontrolyou

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

 

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#marriagemonday: Years Make the Heart Grow Fonder ... Or More Irritated!

Sunday evening I approached my husband and kindly said, "Honey, I'm sorry I was crabby today."

He replied sweetly, "It's okay, I was crabby too."

I went on to say I was glad I wasn't the only one. He laughed and said, "Geez, I was just saying that to make you feel better. I thought I was in good spirits all day today!"

The little quote on the picture couldn't sum up our marriage better. "My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me."

My hubby must be a saint to put up with me. He's not perfect by any means, but women are screwed up! Now, ladies, I'm totally stereo-typing right now ... over-analyzing, guilt-ridden, hormone-driven, emotionally-inconsistent beings. Does that sum us up? Or is that just me?

Saying it's been a long week is an understatement. From activities to volunteering to life tasks to job uncertainties. I look back and think that maybe it was okay that I was crabby on Sunday. However, in the scheme of things, it's unfortunate that I got caught up in it all rather than just appreciating where we are at in our life.

Sunday morning our family skipped church so I could have a long over-due coffee with some girlfriends. It was wonderful, reassuring and certainly needed. Among the zillion things we discuss was a conversation about the 'Sacred Sunday'.

Sunday used to be known as a day of rest. It was meant to be a church-going and family-filled day. This is not the case anymore. I unfortunately got caught up in my Sunday madness and started down the road of complaining (this road leads NO WHERE but to a dead end!).

I was sharing my disgust over Sunday craziness with a family friend who came to watch our son wrestle. He put me back in my place- just as I needed! His comment reminded me what is really important. "What's better than coming here as a family to cheer on one of your own? You couldn't do this at home ... supporting and enjoying one another like you can here."

I was certainly NOT supporting and enjoying my family. It was more like they were maddening and irritating me. The funny thing is ... I was only annoyed because I was LETTING myself get caught up in the junk and not appreciating the time that we COULD have had together.

Marriage and family can't be the perfect sit-down Sunday dinner. Life is busy and messy and all about doing things for the good of the cause. We must just appreciate the time we have- wherever that time may be.

This #marriagemonday and for the rest of this week, do your best to control your emotions. Try to keep your irritation in check. The only person that we can control is ourselves. No one MAKES us angry, we allow ourselves to be angered by certain situations. What's the quote? 'Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.'

Take more time saying loving things to your spouse rather than critical things. Appreciate your better half for the better half of his/her qualities. Apologize for irrational behavior rather than blaming the other one's flaws.

Keep at it! Marriage is one ginormous roller coaster with ups and downs and twists and turns- each making the ride more exciting, adventuresome and overall amazing.

Irritation only exists if we let it. 

Take life in stride; enjoying what time you have together. 

#smallmomentsdocount #reactionsareeverything

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

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#fridayfolly: Too Many To Count!

Where do I start?

I suppose I could start with the day I THOUGHT we would have a snow day. The night before the non-snow day, I opted NOT to bathe my children (let's not talk about the fact they were already a few days overdue).

Or maybe I could go with the night my husband brought home a left-over pizza from a work luncheon. I opened the box, set it on the table and called, "Come and eat!" My #3 was curious about what else we were having for dinner. My response was unsympathetic, "This is it. Enjoy it while you can before it's all gone!"

I could look at my horrendous eating habits this last week or the fact that I let my kids drive me batty. Maybe I should focus on the million and twelve things that I signed up to do this year- not remembering that a little over a year ago, I quit my job because I was swimming with life tasks.

... the broken car ... the annoying dog ... the undone house ... the last-minute homework ... the crabbiness ...

Okay. It's obvious that this week was NOT as glorified at last week. Yet, still knowing this, I was reminded Wednesday afternoon why NONE of these things matter.

Our snow day came (a day later than I had hoped) and all my kids wanted to do was go swimming. Yes, swimming. On one of our coldest days of the year, I loaded up the four children and headed to the YMCA to go swimming.

It was actually the best hour and a half of our day. They had fun and I had a few moments of reflection.

A mom came in with two girls who both had special needs. Each of them had a working dog aiding them. I watched this mom and couldn't stop glancing at her calm and amazing nature.

She was so gentle. She was so consistent. She was so grateful.

I complain about my four kids fighting and aggravating me, but in that moment, I realized I should be thankful they interact and fight with one another. That means that they can. I should be grateful that they can aggravate me. That means they have the means to figure out how to push my buttons.

I don't have a million doctor appointments. I don't have to care for two additional animals to aid my children. Heck, I complain about my one dog when I should appreciate the fact that I get loved every time he sees me.

If I could go back to Wednesday afternoon, I would take the opportunity to say to this special mom, "You are amazing. I'm staring at you not because your family is different, but because I wish I could be more like you. I have no idea what your life is like raising these two beautiful girls, but you're doing a damn good job. You should be proud of yourself, your girls, your dogs and the wonderful job you are doing as their mom!"

I would also take the time to apologize that I've taken for granted some of the given blessings in my life (once again, it shouldn't take an event for me to recognize the gifts I am surrounded by).

This Friday and for as many days as you can muster- forget about your mistakes. Life DOES NOT come with instructions. Life is NOT easy. It's okay if you've beat yourself up for mistakes that you've made ... but, for today, you need to stop. Forget about your issues and your mishaps, just enjoy the heck out of the life you are currently blessed with.

I joke that my kids were born in a barn. I pick at them constantly about the few mistakes that they are making. I vow (for at least the next day) to STOP. Instead of being frustrated with our family dinners, I will be grateful that we take the opportunity to sit down and eat together. There are millions out there who are wishing they could have a family dinner nite and we get it regularly. Shame on me for forgetting how darn lucky I am!

Good luck counting your blessings. And, if you get a chance to tell someone they are wonderful, don't miss your chance like I did. Seize the moment and let others know what an amazing job they are doing despite the struggles that lie before them!

It is DEFINITELY okay to make mistakes!

 #dontbeatyourselfup 

Life DOES NOT come with instructions.

 #justdothebestyoucan 

#focusonyourstrengths

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

 

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#tuesdaytip: Spread Goodness!

Well, I'm nearing the end of Tuesday, but still have an hour to spare ... not too late for a #tuesdaytip!

I've been sharing the last few weeks from The Energy Bus by Jon Gordon (www.theenergybus.com). I like to keep my kids posted on good things I read as well- this time I wasn't up to par!

"Mom, what's the next rule?" My son asked eagerly last Wednesday morning.

"Oh, honey, I was too tired to read last night. I'll keep you posted when I get around to reading Rule #4!"

Tonight was finally the night (it only took me six days- no judgment on sporadic readers like me)! And it's a great one.

Rule #4: Invite People on Your Bus and Share Your Vision for the Road Ahead

Sharing. A simple concept taught to us from the time we are wee little tikes. From toys to positivity- it's all the same idea.

From the previous rules in Jon Gordon's incredible read, we learn that we must have a vision for what we want, the desire to reach that destination, the belief that we can overcome adversity blocking our way and positivity to fuel our ride the entire time.

If we know what we want and strive to get it in a positive and caring way, we will naturally bring along followers (check out The Dancing Guy if you don't believe me!). Others will notice our incredible drive and our smiles lighting the way.

However, that's not enough. We need to be intentional about bringing others along for the positive ride. We need to be careful and conscientious about helping all those around us notice the good in the world; despite the many road blocks we will face.

Challenges happen daily. If we strive to be thankful, we cannot be angry and bitter in the same breath. Gratefulness will always win. Sharing goodness will take us down the road in the right direction.

In the book, George takes a 'thankful walk' where he talks to himself, out loud, recognizing the gifts surrounding him every step he takes. Last year I was working on my 1000 thanks journal. From time to time I remember that I was trying to fill it up. Here's my reminder to get it out yet again!

     460. The snow falling under street lights
     461. Sleeping children; snuggled warm in their beds (precious)
     462. Belly laughs ... I actually ran smack into a door today ... couldn't stop laughing at myself
     463. Hearing my kids share happy stories from their day
     464. Having a co-worker laugh about someone saying 'Do' two times (get it? doo-doo?)
     465. SNOW DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's amazing when you focus on the good how hard it is to be overcome by the negative. Now, I'm realistic and can also be a Negative-Nelly. Don't think I'm going 'Pollyanna' on you, I'm just asking you to try (and I'm reminding myself how powerful it can be to take my own advice!).

This week, take a few thankful walks. Be grateful that you are able to enjoy this earth. SHARE your goodness and vision with others. Lift people up and take them for a grateful ride! Happiness exists when we can relish in what we have ... good, bad and ugly ... it's all ours and we are darn lucky to have it!

 Know where you're going in life. 

Believe in your journey. 

Desire the very best out of YOU! 

Don't forget #shareyourgoodness #positivityspreads

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

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#marriagemonday: Quit 'Mean-Mugging' Me!

I couldn't believe there was such a thing as a 'mean' mug or coffee cup! I cracked up laughing when I Google searched my husband's famous words to me and all sorts of angry coffee cups popped up!

The #fridayfolly last week indicated that my week was wonderful and that I KNEW you-know-what would hit the fan this weekend because I avoided so many life tasks. The funny thing is, it really didn't have to. I didn't have to get worked up or let the crap hit the fan ... BUT, alas, I did yet again.

Isn't it funny how we work so hard all week to enjoy the weekend and then once the weekend is upon us, all we can think about doing is preparing again for the week ahead? Oh wait, is that just MY problem?

Huffing and mean-mug looks are kind of my M.O. with my husband. He always knows how I'm feeling without me saying a word. He sometimes cracks himself up making fun of my piss-poor attitude that is not really directed at him, but really is directed at him (do you know what I mean?).

As I was huffing around on Saturday morning and glaring at every object in the house (to avoid eye contact and try to keep my looks in check), he calmly asked, "Are you going to huff all weekend?"

At one point on Saturday afternoon he called my mom and made a point to tell her, "Your daughter hasn't done anything all day except glare at me."

Seriously? We've resorted to tattling?

In his defense, he was right. I was glaring and mean-mugging and huffing for really NO good reason at all. Can you guess what turned me around?

That darn husband of mine knows me all too well. He can make me laugh even when I am beyond irritated. He can turn my sour mood around even when I fail to want to change.

We ended our Saturday with a laugh and a good chat.

Isn't that what marriage is really all about? Good marriages aren't peachy-keen and smiles all the time. They aren't blissful and engaged at every moment. They certainly aren't perfect or without fights and disagreements.

Despite my many flaws, my husband has still decided to stick with me. There's not a one of us out there that can claim perfection- it's nice not to be held to that standard.

This #marriagemonday, I hope you can avoid mean-mugging your spouse. I hope that instead, you will force out a smile. If all else fails, try squeezing your spouse and making fart noises. That's sure to have you both rolling!

What's your M.O. w/ your spouse? 

I huff. I glare. I 'mean mug' the heck out of him! 

This #marriagemonday- #trysmilinginstead #myselfincluded

 

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

 

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