#marriagemonday: He Read My Heart.

I have heard from more than several friends, "He would do anything I ask him to do. I'm just tired of asking. I just wish he would know what to do and DO it without being asked."

Okay, wives ... how many of you have been here?

You have a husband that is willing to do just about anything you ask him to do (now granted, he will still do it on his own time and his own terms!). BUT, after years and years of asking, you just wish he would get a clue?

Last Monday, the whole family was off. Off from school. Off from work. A day to enjoy life. We opted to see a family movie and enjoy a family lunch date. We also had hopes to get the housework done for the week.

I was working upstairs on laundry, bathrooms and vacuuming. The hubby was supposed to be working on the playroom in the basement with the aid of the children.

He put the kids to work and decided to clean behind the stove. Yep. BEHIND the stove. Who cleans behind the stove? Now, I could see if we were doing some spring cleaning or getting a house ready for a showing ... but we are talking about needing to get the BASIC weekly cleaning done.

Fine. Behind the stove was clean- however, the main level and basement WERE NOT! So, off we went to the movies and lunch. When we returned, he assured me the rest would get done.

I came down from finishing an upstairs task. I was right in the middle of three other tasks. He was supposed to STILL be working on getting the basement clean.

"What are we doing with all this stuff on top of the fridge?"

I was fuming. I ranted. I grabbed. I huffed. I cleaned off the top of the refrigerator and stormed off to finish my million other tasks.

Long story short ... he wanted the top of the fridge cleaned so that he could clean behind it. Yep. We have a clean floor UNDER the stove and behind the refrigerator!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, he also cleaned a spot on the basement floor I haven't taken notice to in months.

I tell you all this because it leads to my point (finally, I know) that I assumed my husband knew exactly what I wanted him to help me clean. I got mad when he had his own agenda. The funny thing is, the things he did needed to be done sometime- I just didn't feel they were that important when I had a list of thousands of other tasks needing to be done just to make our week functional.

It was my bad! He couldn't read my mind and I was extremely irritated by something that is completely out of his control.

Our week continued to be rocky. A sick kick. A sick husband. Maybe it was just me who was rocky and thrown out of my normal routine (I've come too attached to being in control ... a thing I have to let go of with four growing children)!

Friday night I looked at my husband completely defeated. "Honey, do you think I am a complete nutcase? Am I crazy or something? What is WRONG with me? We are so lucky and I can't make myself be grateful about one damn thing."

Maybe he can't read my 'cleaning/housework' mind, but he certainly knows how to read my heart. He assured me I wasn't crazy or a nut-job. He reminded me that we have changes occurring around us and it affects us all differently. He told me what I needed to hear, "It's okay. Your okay. It was just a long week."

Would we really want our spouses to be able to read our minds? Certainly we aren't always thinking loving things! Communicating is all part of the process and essential to the whole, 'til death do us part' thing. It's not so bad to have to ask- especially if our spouses are willing to help.

Now, reading our hearts is a whole different ballgame. We DO need to know our spouses emotional needs. We ABSOLUTELY need to try to comfort our spouses tender heart. We are in this marriage together and teamwork is essential. Complimenting each other with our strengths is what makes us a unit (and what will also be our nemesis some days, weeks or years).

This #marriagemonday, recognize what a great team you make. Be grateful for the support your better half provides (even if it's not exactly the support you were hoping for). Take time to check in on each others emotions and heartfelt needs. Don't try to read minds- ask if you don't know or communicate if you need help. Be there for one another in every way you can.

Spouses can't read our minds- we might have to ask.

 Our hearts might need attention & extra love- our better half will recognize & provide.

Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'. 

 

Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!

 

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