We just celebrated the 3rd birthday of our baby! Yep, our fourth child is three, completely potty trained, taller than most four-year-olds, expressive and bossing around everyone in the house (even the dog!).
I thought this blog from last year was perfect to remind me of the growth that has happened in just twelve months.
Where were you a year ago? What challenges were you facing head on? Are those things still difficult? Or have new obstacles popped up?
Reflection is an amazing way to see growth. It's important to remember as we muddle through difficult times in life that 'we don't have to have it all figured out in order to move forward'.
May 7th, 2013
Put Together ... I Think Not!
It makes me laugh every time someone asks me for advice. I suppose surviving the birth of four children and having them growing up happy and healthy should be worth something. But really, the only advice I have is that you have to do what works for you. I've come to the conclusion that parenting is nothing but improvising and surviving! None of us will do those two things the same ... and that's okay.
There are many things that I suppose I can anticipate after having four kids. There are places I know to avoid, fits that I can see starting to explode, activities that I know are sure to create a cluster ... but, even with all that knowledge, I still don't know much. Some days I am so overwhelmed that I just have to sit down and give up for a few minutes. Some moments seem so straining that I feel tears prickling in my eyes.
After four children, you would think that I would know the simple things. I love the comment, "Well, I'm sure you know after having all those kids!" Yeah, right. The other night we ventured off to a graduation party that was a little over an hour away. Our two year old is no where near being potty-trained. She has a pacifier glued to her mouth. And she's had more pop and sugar in her short life than our other three children combined.
Tell me this. What parent forgets to bring a diaper for her two-year-old? What parent heads out the door with nothing but a graduation gift? Especially if this parent has had three other children at the age of needing diapers?
We pulled up to the party and headed out. We had the needed pacifier in the pocket, but as I checked every square inch of our van for a diaper, there was not a one to be found. Seriously? You see this happens ALL the time. What has happened to me? We leave a stash of diapers and a package of wipes in our van door because more times than not, I am not prepared. Yep, me, a mother of four, leaves the house frequently without a diaper for her youngest. Sadly, I usually remember the pacifier and have some candy stashed in my purse to avoid unnecessary fits!
This poor youngest of mine. I used to be so prepared. I had a bag full of tricks like good mothers. I had diapers and band-aids and a spare set of clothes. Now, I'm lucky if I have my purse (and a diaper in the door). Maybe it's laziness. Maybe I got tired of packing and unpacking for a week-long trip every time I left the house for 10 minutes. Maybe there was one too many times the necessary items in the bag weren't necessary.
So, as I looked at my husband (knowing we were no where near a gas station or store) and I just shrugged my shoulders. "Well, I hope she doesn't poop." He just laughed. Then the light bulb that is occasionally still lit in my brain shined bright! "I bet my cousin will be here ... hopefully her boy isn't potty-trained yet either. She will for sure have a diaper."
My heart leap for joy when she walked in the room an hour later. I beamed as I greeted her and begged for a diaper. She, of course, was prepared and got a good chuckle that we would be so far away from home without a spare!
Several minutes later after feeling much relief about a needed diaper, I got the look of all looks. I was chasing that very two-year-old around the party and holding my cup of beer upright. She was just out of reach. When I caught up and grabbed her hand with my free hand, she cut loose again. My only option was a two-handed grab. There was a buffet right next to me. She was headed for the chocolate fountain. There was no place to set my beer and no seconds to spare in thinking it through any further. I sucked it up, put the cup between my teeth and grabbed for dear life. Safe! The girl was in my arms, the beer didn't spill a drop and that woman staring at me got quite a show!
There are many days I feel like first-time mom. Some days I think I know less now than I did before I had kids. But, the good news is ... we are surviving. There are even moments I might say that we are flourishing. Life is good. God has given us so many blessings. So what if I don't have it all together. Who cares if we have to beg and steal diapers? We are human to the core. Imperfect and doing the best we can. Just remember, you hold the key to many of your unsolved dilemmas. Believe in yourself and the knowledge you have about your life. No one has it all together all the time! And improvising is the best skill I have acquired from all these little people.
There are many things that I suppose I can anticipate after having four kids. There are places I know to avoid, fits that I can see starting to explode, activities that I know are sure to create a cluster ... but, even with all that knowledge, I still don't know much. Some days I am so overwhelmed that I just have to sit down and give up for a few minutes. Some moments seem so straining that I feel tears prickling in my eyes.
After four children, you would think that I would know the simple things. I love the comment, "Well, I'm sure you know after having all those kids!" Yeah, right. The other night we ventured off to a graduation party that was a little over an hour away. Our two year old is no where near being potty-trained. She has a pacifier glued to her mouth. And she's had more pop and sugar in her short life than our other three children combined.
Tell me this. What parent forgets to bring a diaper for her two-year-old? What parent heads out the door with nothing but a graduation gift? Especially if this parent has had three other children at the age of needing diapers?
We pulled up to the party and headed out. We had the needed pacifier in the pocket, but as I checked every square inch of our van for a diaper, there was not a one to be found. Seriously? You see this happens ALL the time. What has happened to me? We leave a stash of diapers and a package of wipes in our van door because more times than not, I am not prepared. Yep, me, a mother of four, leaves the house frequently without a diaper for her youngest. Sadly, I usually remember the pacifier and have some candy stashed in my purse to avoid unnecessary fits!
This poor youngest of mine. I used to be so prepared. I had a bag full of tricks like good mothers. I had diapers and band-aids and a spare set of clothes. Now, I'm lucky if I have my purse (and a diaper in the door). Maybe it's laziness. Maybe I got tired of packing and unpacking for a week-long trip every time I left the house for 10 minutes. Maybe there was one too many times the necessary items in the bag weren't necessary.
So, as I looked at my husband (knowing we were no where near a gas station or store) and I just shrugged my shoulders. "Well, I hope she doesn't poop." He just laughed. Then the light bulb that is occasionally still lit in my brain shined bright! "I bet my cousin will be here ... hopefully her boy isn't potty-trained yet either. She will for sure have a diaper."
My heart leap for joy when she walked in the room an hour later. I beamed as I greeted her and begged for a diaper. She, of course, was prepared and got a good chuckle that we would be so far away from home without a spare!
Several minutes later after feeling much relief about a needed diaper, I got the look of all looks. I was chasing that very two-year-old around the party and holding my cup of beer upright. She was just out of reach. When I caught up and grabbed her hand with my free hand, she cut loose again. My only option was a two-handed grab. There was a buffet right next to me. She was headed for the chocolate fountain. There was no place to set my beer and no seconds to spare in thinking it through any further. I sucked it up, put the cup between my teeth and grabbed for dear life. Safe! The girl was in my arms, the beer didn't spill a drop and that woman staring at me got quite a show!
There are many days I feel like first-time mom. Some days I think I know less now than I did before I had kids. But, the good news is ... we are surviving. There are even moments I might say that we are flourishing. Life is good. God has given us so many blessings. So what if I don't have it all together. Who cares if we have to beg and steal diapers? We are human to the core. Imperfect and doing the best we can. Just remember, you hold the key to many of your unsolved dilemmas. Believe in yourself and the knowledge you have about your life. No one has it all together all the time! And improvising is the best skill I have acquired from all these little people.
Growth happens so slowly at times that we are unable to appreciate it #taketimetoreflect Imperfectness doesn't keep you from moving forward!
Enjoy the journey you have been blessed with, love the people in your life, smile :) and remember, 'It's Okay'.
Visit www.itsokaybooks.com to learn more!
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