Worrying about what others think about me has been a struggle since grade school.
Parenting brought my guilt and feelings of inadequacy to a whole new level.
Must. Be. Put. Together. At. All. Times.
NOT!
I can not and will not have it all together, EVER!
And, it's okay.
I'm finally at a place where I feel okay with who I am ... screw-ups and all. I've found pieces of my life that I can 'let go' of and not stress about. I actually said, "No," more than once in the last month. And, I haven't even sent out a Christmas card yet (nor do we have a good picture)!
I will continue to see the best in others. I will strive to offer sound advice when asked. I will work my tail off to be the best mom, wife, sister, daughter, friend and worker. I will still try to keep up on life maintenance to the highest standard I am able to at each moment.
I will do all that knowing that I can NOT do it all.
I will mess up. I will forget. I will fail. I will not be perfect!
And, 'it's okay'!
Thursday morning I was fixing up a few screw-ups I made at work. I wandered in wearing my black yoga pants with my two-year-old in tow. Please know it was a day off for me and this isn't my usual attire, nor is it 'bring your daughter to work' most days.
Before the clock hit 9:00 a.m. my daughter had already had three Laffy Taffy candies. One large piece of candy had lodged itself in her uncombed curly locks. A co-worker kindly let me know, "I think she has a piece of gum in her hair."
My response, "Oh, my. That's where that piece of gum went. We were looking for that two nights ago."
Goodness. Dear me. I actually admitted to not showering my child for more than two days, not to mention the fact that this also proved I hadn't combed her hair.
After closer inspection, I realized it was just a piece of Laffy Taffy.
I was ready to chop the hair. I instructed someone to just grab me a pair of scissors. The office ladies came to the rescue. I actually accepted an offer of help. I sat still and watched as my kind co-worker smeared peanut butter all through my daughter's hair and work out the candy. A quick wash in the sink and we were good to go.
I share this little story because I was okay with all of it. I didn't beat myself up for looking like a totally un-put-together mother. I didn't fret over having to let someone help me. I laughed out loud at my 'Mother of the Year' moment, knowing that I am just as human as every one else.
My house isn't always neat and clean any more. My kids aren't always showered and matching. My answers aren't always crisp and without flaw or stutter.
I admit it- I don't have it all together. I've let go of the idea that this is even possible. And, I actually think I'm okay with that.
What's eating at you? What's been your M.O.? What question do you have about where you are at in your life right now?
It's important we remember that we are all doing the best we can with what we have to work with. Let's all aim to be authentic- to be okay with who we are and show that to others. Even better ... let's strive to see the best in not only ourselves, but in others, too. Let's work to judge less and empathize more!
Happy last weekend before the holiday to you all. May your holiday be filled with as much joy as possible. When times get tough (and moments will), just remember, 'it's okay'. Love as much it all as you can and forget the rest.
Know your limits and enjoy living within them!
Stretch yourself, but not to the point of stress.
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